Alcohol, Narcotics and Meditation Retreat

I met an old friend known for his satire and humour (sometimes dry but worthwhile relating).
He asked me to describe in short, the digestive system (in Sinhala).
Before I could open up, he said one starts with the right hand and ends with the left hand (with no toilet paper USE in this country) for convenience.
Before he could finish, I asked him what about left-handed guys like Albert Einstein?
He said in Ceylon left handed people eat with their right hand.
That was a dicey answer which I could not believe but what he said next was very nice.
Look at these guys/girls shopping for new clothes as if they had been in nude for 364 days.
I said I prefer to be in nude at least at night to cool myself.
Then I pondered to Politics and raised my voice and said IF BBS was in power we would not be able to crack a joke.
He said no politics and I told him that it is the inborn deficiency of Ceylonese that allows politicians to go "scot free" of their petty deeds and shoddy acts.
Before we could expand on politics, he got out of the bus to see a friend for an early tot.
I told him to drink IF it is FREE (only).
Thankfully, when I reached home, a Danish friend had called in without prior notice.
We polished a tiny wine bottle in no time.
I did not see this guy again, he was bitten by the travel bug; his resolve was never to come home, like foreign secretaries of the old regime.
His reasoning for one visit during Sinhala/Tamil New Year costs him all his savings for a year and he could never recover his loans to his near and dear, given the year before.
We live on loans and pawn our children for over 100 years.
The Danish friend did not drop in for sometime (escape from bitter winter and his wife and his inconsistent study of ethnic conflict never ends).
For me I decided never enjoy a drink till all the taxes or levies on alcohol is removed by a decree with the blessing of the Triple Gem of Nibbana, one of my alcoholic friends describes them as The Void (Sunnata), The Signless (Animitta) and The desireless (Appanihina).
I told him alcohol and narcotics have the same effects on the brain.
After a deliberate pause, I told him one Hour of Meditation would not get all those three effects unless he/she tastes a piece of chocolate or takes an alcohol based and plant based drink of old tradition, Kombucha Beverage or Manchurian Mushroom Tea (Mana Tea) or Narcotics.