Giving the Kitchen a Holiday
1. I hate Kitchens.
2. I love Food especially if they are made delicious.
3. I hate sweet foods and cakes.
4. I acquired these habits from my mother certainly not from my father.
5. My father was an Ace in eating Junk Foods.
I acquired both Good and Bad habits inadvertently.
If I eat a Parippu or dhal wade it has to be high in quality and size.
There are two varieties, one small in size for pariahs (they ruin the city in one or two visits-good example is the Perehara) who visit the city and the other relatively large in size (say it in other words, a mouthful) for the noble men (there aren’t any left in the city now) who happen to bypass it like Prince Charles.
When it started getting ever smaller with the Mahinda Chintanaya in full swing, I called it a Revert Wade (the guy who makes the wade is paid a meager salary he is so annoyed, he reverts the wade when making, not with the inspired knowledge of the Big Mudhalali, the owner) and that would have heralded the metamorphosis of this age old Jaffna Delicacy.
Unfortunately, this has reached the Egg Rotti and Patties (pastry).
One used to get one egg, a Rotti an year ago but it became half, quarter and currently it has metamorphosed to a touch of egg/s (either touch of white or touch of yellow) with the blessings of the Maha Sangha (they say a bit-just like alcohol, of it is good for their/your health, a lot of it is bad, contrary to my own beliefs).
I was listening to a Dhamma Desana from Mahamevna tradition (while I was waiting for a bus and the loud speaker in full throttle relaying it all over the city, more than 30 decibels in magnitude) and preacher was telling one should ascend the ladder through one heaven to the next till one reaches the Thawthisa Bavan, where the next Buddha is having a respite to be born eons from now.
He almost said if one comes to Polgahawela, he could even give a cut rate ticket to heaven.
Sadly no mention about Nirvana, he implied one should delay Nirvana (podi joliyak dhala thamayh eahata yanna onne- one should enjoy the ascent as much as possible like a rocket science predictions).
Sorry for the diversion, I was requested by my family friends that if I make this a major article, I may disappear to Ravana Land by default with Bodu Balawegaya in full swing.
Coming back to my intended conviction that the kitchen should have a holiday, just like the digital holiday I am enjoying currently (but want to continue for little longer, god willing) and that is why my blog post is going low and my email is almost stationary.
I have few problems.
As long as my wife is at home, there is no holiday for the kitchen.
Fortunately my wife had to be in Colombo for few days and after 24 hours of cleaning up (servant woman did not turn up as usual) of the Kitchen and the Pantry, I call it a day almost defeated to see it was back to what it was (I won't state why with legal advice pending).
Today I had the courage to apply it rigidly for nearly 24 hours.
Presto.
Benefits.
1. No cockroaches (mind you cockroaches are my evolutionary friends and I hate to kill them).
2. No mice.
This is a discovery.
Even the mice in our kitchen has acquired my taste habits and did not touch the bin which I kept (Metta, Karuna and Mudhtha practiced to high heaven) open for liberal use like our politics now.
3. No cats (not the no mice no cat rule but no food no cats rule of evidence practiced by our courts of law interpreted as envisaged by our political old fox, J.R.J).
4. Birds in plenty (they visit the mulberry tree)
5. No dogs except our dog who has acquired a taste of higher order than me and refuse to eat junk food (devoid of eggs, cheese and taste) and turn his plate of food upside down (I have to clean the mess).
The message from my dog is clear, he is a food taster par excellence and tells me I am/you are cheated by the food vendors (there is no butter, no cheese or eggs or salmon or fish as stated in the display).
You have to do the cooking for me.
So if you give the kitchen a holiday, junk food is no alternative, if you have a pedigree dog.
Kill your pedigree dog for dog food and go for a real Paraya dog. (metaphorically and not literally) just like the British under Mrs. Thatcher did when Mad Cow Disease was in full swing but refused to acknowledge that it was due to cows fed on disease cows' meat mixed with fodder (this one is for the Commonwealth Guests, do not volunteer help when your own house is in a mess by harboring terrorists and their sympathizers).
So my recipe for giving the kitchen a holiday one has to kill the dog and starve.
Both of which I cannot recommend in real practice.
So eat the junk food.
Give the dog the royal food.
This is what will happen when the Commonwealth Conference is held in Colombo.
We will eat Junk Food but the visitors (ONLY) will have royal food.
Even our dogs will have junk food left over by the royal entourage.
Thank You for your visit.
Long Live (Aubovan in Sinhala)!
