Why
all dogs end up in Heaven?
People often ask me the above question and I
wondered how?
I stumble
upon the very
reason.
It goes like this.
Once upon a time, I had a dog and I used to
take him round the lake (unlike today one can walk in the city
without bumping into an alien).
He was very aggressive and even at
home it would obey only my commands.
The only thing it wanted was to
run round the lake when I return home.
He waits eagerly for my return and I walk
with him to the city to buy some bread. Those were the days when NM,
the Furnace Minister and Sirimao was one and only female leader of the
world.
Then, people used to kill each other for a
loaf of bread.
I join the queue, which is almost a mile
long (all the visitors to the city too, join the queue and many
without an ID Card.They started issuing ID cards (my belief) to
discriminate the aliens that frequent the cities like Colombo), and
wait patiently for our turn.
Then the vendor gives me one loaf of
bread (that is a ration for the family).
I demand one for my dog,
which was an animal entitlement (these were the days they consumed
all the tortoises in the lake and in Colombo served dogs’ flesh as
chicken portions).
Argument ensues and I won’t budge.
I make
my dog to snarl as to kill him (he fears along with the bystanders)
until two loaves are dispensed.
Then we walked back home.
Deposit one loaf for the family.
We walk down
the lake and sit on an empty bench share the bread and he gets a
lion’s share and up for a vigorous run.
He always beats me and I
used to call him my trainer.
Sure enough, I beat all the guys in the
university in short distance running up to 200 yards, the most (not
200 meters, I get beaten with that extra few inches added).
To cut the
story short, I finished with university and was posted to far away
place and my dog died within a month.
I never saw its body or I was
never told the true story. This was the only time I felt my mother
lied to me. Father’s story I never believed. My only guess (now)
that he was run over by a driver; he was
searching me all over the city, I
believe.
My
resolve was never to have another dog.
Coming back to Maha Brahma’s
involvement in dog affairs is fortuitous.
Right at that time there
were few other stray dogs in the city. They retreat whenever, I was
with my dog but when I see them alone, I used to feed them.
One dog
belonged to a GP in Kandy, he was busy with his PP and the other dog
belonged to a lawyer who was busy with legal entanglements.
Both dogs
had not been cared for.
The doctors dog died first having eaten the
junk in the city dustbins.
He ended up with Maha Brahma and Maha knew
how the rich doctor had treated him in real life.
He said; You
are happy to be here?
The dog said; I still prefer not parting the
doctor.
You Stupid, what You want to be?
He
paused for a moment and said I want to be “Your Assistant”.
Why?; was Maha’s immediate response.
Then the dog went onto give the
plight of all the dogs in Kandy including the lawyer’s dog who was
ailing at the time of his demise and would be joining the departed
soon.
I want to help them when they come here.
Maha opened his eyes
wide with amazement and immediately offered the Post of Assistant. He
had another surprise for the dog. Look my son, I had been working
over time and due for a vacation. You take over my job till I come
back and vanished in a flash and said Good bye after uttering my
vacations are in eons not in dog years. Then our dog had a little nap
and when woken up saw his earthly friend lawyer’s dog at the entrance
door to heaven.
He immediately made him his assistant.
I
think my dog also joined the fold in heaven.
The reason why dogs end
up in heaven is obvious, both acting Maha and his assistant are Kandy dogs.
I
have a healthy relationship with heaven even before departing my
earthly belongings.
Old
Dog Haven and Senior Dogs
There
are lot of myths about dogs but here I want to illustrate few human
facts that I should communicate with Maha Brahma who was a yesteryear
dog exterminated to make room for Perahara Pilgrims that visit this
holy city of Kandy.
Most
of Sri-Lankan end up in hell where the Maha Brahmas dog and present
assistant of Maha Brahmas were dogs from this country. By clever
design they ended up there and for my luck I happened to know the
Present Maha Brahmas Assistant as a Paraya dog in Kandy and I am
fortunate enough to communicate with him by virtual email.
First
the bad news.
Lot
of paraya dogs were cleared up recently in preparation for Perehara
and I want a place reserved for them in hell (for the municipality
exterminators not the exterminated paraya dogs).
In
some countries when they are old they are sent to Old Dogs Haven.
I
want the Maha to take them to heaven moment they are exterminated but
make a short list of the exterminators and send that list to Apaya
(Hell) Server.
I
have designed a full proof program to catch dog killers and that is
working nicely in Apaya Server currently but the problem is these dog
killers live longer than the dog by many a mile due to cardiac
surgery performed.
Senior
Citizens Senior Dogs
1.
They have
homes for the elderly humans.
1.
Dogs Haven
is practically the hell
for the senior dogs.
2.
Some senior citizens by that time become
the Mayors (of the City they were born) if not in an Home for the
Elderly.
In
my opinion all political institutions including Pradeshiya Sabha are
half way house from the planet earth to the hell.
3.They
never give way to juniors
$.
There is only extermination decree for
dogs coming from the Municipality and they brag about the dog
exterminators.
In
the Dog’s World the operation is different.
1
.Junior dogs take charge of the brood.
I
have another plea.
If
one wants to age with the dog please do the following.
1.
Take care of a young dog at the age of 43 (when nobody seems to want
you including your wife and kids) years.
2.
When you are 50 your dog is 7 years old and equal to 50 years of
human age.
3.
In another three (3) when your dog is 10 he is equivalent to 60 human
years and you will be 53 years. You are younger by 7 years.
4.
In another two years dog (at 12 years) will be 70 and you will be
only 55 years.
You
are younger by 15 years.
43=0
50=7=50
( only at 50 one can be at the level of the dog age and enjoy with
your contemporary to your heart content and his company prevents you
from getting a heart attack, if you delay the dog will get a heart
attack).
53=10=60
52=12=70
(This is the time you get a bypass operation and the dog get a heart
attack).
5.
Now that you have become the mayor at 55 after retiring from service
would you be kind to this dog who is 12 years or sent for the
Municipality exterminator.
6.
They are just old senior dogs / citizens they do not have a
parliament to go but only the streets but unlike you they look after
our streets even at night when young, is it reasonable to put them to
death?
7.
How come if I say all the senior citizens who were
ex-parliamentarians and drawing a fat pension and to save money for
development they should be exterminated.
Will
don’t you pass a bill and vote yes in parliament?
Are
we reasonable human beings?.
