It is not easy to become a elected member or MP.
It is even difficult to become a List MP
Let me describe the protocol.
I got a registered letter from a New Party of Origin (N. P. O. for short) to say, I got to come to the parliament on the 10th of August for registration.
This was interesting, I did not register for any party and I do not even have a valid vote.
I gave a call to the secretary, that there was a big mistake made, inadvertently.
In other words a major error made.
Then, she said my name is the last in the list and I have been selected as a valid nominee.
How come?
She said they frankly did not expect as many MPs elected as have happened, in the election.
My name was selected randomly from a current Web page and she forgot to inform me in advance.
She reminded me to bring certified copies of birth certificate, married certificate, national identity card, certified copy of passport photo and interestingly a certified copy of my father's or mother's death certificate.
She said, if I have any affidavits to support any other names not listed by the election commissioner, if I have any, please let me bring them in addition.
I told her I have many affidavits to that claim, and I am the same and the only currently existing guy.
I immediately booked an early morning train ticket for me and a guy to help me, in case I am incarcerated in the lobby of the Parliament.
The list of the affidavits:
1. My name ends with ke but the name in the Election Commissioner's list was ka.
Certification to the effect of ke=ka.
2. Certification of ASB=SBA, of the initials.
3. Certified copy by the election commissioner that I was in the List MPs List.
4. Certified copy from the N. P. O. that I was in their list.
5. By 9.30am we reached the parliament.
It was a very busy place.
We were not allowed in, since my name was not in the list which the security officer had.
6. I was asked to go to the secretary of the Parliament and get a certified letter to enter my name into the main list.
I had to pay Rs. 5000/=
Special paper Rs.2999/=.
Rs. 2000/= as default fee for the cheque I tendered.
I do no why 2999 and what happens to the extra rupee!
7. I had to get a letter from the additional secretary for my name to be added in the list for August 10, on the main secretary's list.
8. After about 2 hours, I was called in.
9. I was asked to go to the election commissioner's office and get a new copy supporting my election.
10. I went there, the officers were nice.
They told me to bring two new affidavits to support the claim, and one for their own records and one to be given to the parliament secretary.
11. I requested 3 copies (one for my record keeping) and paid Rs. 3000/=.
12. Armed with all these, we went back to the parliament.
I gave the extra copy to my agent for safe keeping.
13. I was asked have you been an Ex-MP?
NO.
I was asked to stay in the lobby but my friend was not allowed.
I was asked to pay Rs. 30,000/=.
That included default fee of Rs. 5000/=, which I did not pay, since we had three hour waiting for approval of my agent to sign, as a witness.
14. I had to appoint my friend as my personal secretary and get his name certified as my agent, by the Parliament secretary.
Went back to secretary again.
After three hours, of delay (they were on lunch break), and I got my agent registered.
By the way, in this country even the dead casts the vote.
They collect all the death certificates and send them to each polling agent.
They have a way about this operation, which I am not privy to.
Yes, when I checked my father in law, long gone had voted, before my checking, the officer at the polling booth.
I decided to Not to register my name over 20 years, claiming that I was abroad.
15. My friend had a bright idea.
Let us go and celebrate in the Liqueur Lounge.
We went there and we're told only for registered and Ex-MPs.
What about a soft drink?
No, the answer.
One nice guy there offered us two bottled water from a large bin as compliments.
We collected them and wanted to go to the loo for a vee, vee.
16.There was a big queue of about 500 guys there, all fully douched in alcohol, lining up for a vee, and some on their way veering and veeing.
We did not go to the lady's side.
I looked at the watch 2.30pm and decided to rush to the railway station.
As I was peeing, I woke up.
Yes, it was a dream.
Yes I had this dream, because I was holding my urge to vee in my sleep.
It was a matter of sleep or dream or vee, vee.
It is even difficult to become a List MP
Let me describe the protocol.
I got a registered letter from a New Party of Origin (N. P. O. for short) to say, I got to come to the parliament on the 10th of August for registration.
This was interesting, I did not register for any party and I do not even have a valid vote.
I gave a call to the secretary, that there was a big mistake made, inadvertently.
In other words a major error made.
Then, she said my name is the last in the list and I have been selected as a valid nominee.
How come?
She said they frankly did not expect as many MPs elected as have happened, in the election.
My name was selected randomly from a current Web page and she forgot to inform me in advance.
She reminded me to bring certified copies of birth certificate, married certificate, national identity card, certified copy of passport photo and interestingly a certified copy of my father's or mother's death certificate.
She said, if I have any affidavits to support any other names not listed by the election commissioner, if I have any, please let me bring them in addition.
I told her I have many affidavits to that claim, and I am the same and the only currently existing guy.
I immediately booked an early morning train ticket for me and a guy to help me, in case I am incarcerated in the lobby of the Parliament.
The list of the affidavits:
1. My name ends with ke but the name in the Election Commissioner's list was ka.
Certification to the effect of ke=ka.
2. Certification of ASB=SBA, of the initials.
3. Certified copy by the election commissioner that I was in the List MPs List.
4. Certified copy from the N. P. O. that I was in their list.
5. By 9.30am we reached the parliament.
It was a very busy place.
We were not allowed in, since my name was not in the list which the security officer had.
6. I was asked to go to the secretary of the Parliament and get a certified letter to enter my name into the main list.
I had to pay Rs. 5000/=
Special paper Rs.2999/=.
Rs. 2000/= as default fee for the cheque I tendered.
I do no why 2999 and what happens to the extra rupee!
7. I had to get a letter from the additional secretary for my name to be added in the list for August 10, on the main secretary's list.
8. After about 2 hours, I was called in.
9. I was asked to go to the election commissioner's office and get a new copy supporting my election.
10. I went there, the officers were nice.
They told me to bring two new affidavits to support the claim, and one for their own records and one to be given to the parliament secretary.
11. I requested 3 copies (one for my record keeping) and paid Rs. 3000/=.
12. Armed with all these, we went back to the parliament.
I gave the extra copy to my agent for safe keeping.
13. I was asked have you been an Ex-MP?
NO.
I was asked to stay in the lobby but my friend was not allowed.
I was asked to pay Rs. 30,000/=.
That included default fee of Rs. 5000/=, which I did not pay, since we had three hour waiting for approval of my agent to sign, as a witness.
14. I had to appoint my friend as my personal secretary and get his name certified as my agent, by the Parliament secretary.
Went back to secretary again.
After three hours, of delay (they were on lunch break), and I got my agent registered.
By the way, in this country even the dead casts the vote.
They collect all the death certificates and send them to each polling agent.
They have a way about this operation, which I am not privy to.
Yes, when I checked my father in law, long gone had voted, before my checking, the officer at the polling booth.
I decided to Not to register my name over 20 years, claiming that I was abroad.
15. My friend had a bright idea.
Let us go and celebrate in the Liqueur Lounge.
We went there and we're told only for registered and Ex-MPs.
What about a soft drink?
No, the answer.
One nice guy there offered us two bottled water from a large bin as compliments.
We collected them and wanted to go to the loo for a vee, vee.
16.There was a big queue of about 500 guys there, all fully douched in alcohol, lining up for a vee, and some on their way veering and veeing.
We did not go to the lady's side.
I looked at the watch 2.30pm and decided to rush to the railway station.
As I was peeing, I woke up.
Yes, it was a dream.
Yes I had this dream, because I was holding my urge to vee in my sleep.
It was a matter of sleep or dream or vee, vee.
