Chapter 07
Do Dogs Dream = D.D.D?
The next question is, if they do, can you detect when your dog dreams?
I am convinced that my dog dreams as well as me when on holidays.
In my case I dream on working days
not on holidays. If I dream on a holiday I consider myself sick or going
to be sick. So make sure that you do not dream on holidays otherwise it
will make your next day of holiday a misery.
In actual fact, on holidays we
sleep less, do more things (as far as I am concerned) and enjoy life
more. We do not have to dream lies for the working when on is on
holidays make better use of your holiday.
In any case holiday is dream come true so act on your instinct.
I have cut paste the probable answer/s to above but let me tell my story.
Our prolong strike (please note, I
made a resolution not to write anything to amuse the readers who were
quite a number then, during this period-you are getting small sample
that would have come if I was working) made me to observe my dog and it
was welcome company to me who was bored to death.
To begin with we synchronised our sleep’.
My dreams became less and less.
I was sleeping a lot and started getting up at bizarre times when my dog was fast sleep.
Fearing I disturb his sleep, I
stealthily get out of my bed and do something mundane, like sorting out
my books or files or photographs.
Then I quickly lost interested in them and one day, started watching my dog who was well into its sleep.
This became a habit.
He gets into postures which were its puppy days and happy days and in complete meditative relaxation.
He does not get up at these times and enjoy them.
I am convinced he dreams well when I
am on holiday without any E.E.G. records. So if you are bored try
watching your dog and try to identify the times he or she dreams.
I believe dogs to need a good dose of happy dreams.
Well there another question to wind this up.
What is the single most common dream in Ceylon?
My survey results says, every Ceylonese dreams of becoming the president of the country.
Then he gets up happy but when he realises that it was a dream he is frightened to death.
He knows only one can become a president and that is also indefinitely and he does not have a fighting chance even in a dream.
He/She does not tell dream even to the respective spouse.
Please do not tell this to the president.
If you do so, I am sure it will be gazetted soon “dreaming is prohibited”.
Read the article below if you have time.
Do Dogs Dream?
Dogs dream like humans and about similar things.
Published on October 28, 2010 by Stanley Coren,
Ph.D., F.R.S.C. in Canine Corner
Many people believe that dogs do
dream. Most dog owners have noticed that at various times during their
sleep, some dogs may quiver, make leg twitches or may even growl or snap
at some sleep-created phantom, giving the impression that they are
dreaming about something. At the structural level, the brains of dogs
are similar to those of humans. Also, during sleep the brain wave
patterns of dogs are similar that of people, and go through the same
stages of electrical activity observed in humans, all of which is
consistent with the idea that dogs are dreaming.
Actually if dogs didn't dream this
would be a much greater surprise given that recent evidence suggests
that animals that are simpler and less intelligent than dogs seem to
dream. Matthew Wilson and Kenway Louie of the Massachusetts Institute of
Technology have evidence that the brains of sleeping rats are
functioning in a way that irresistibly suggests dreaming. Much of the
dreaming that you do at night is associated with the activities that you
engaged in that day. The same seems to be the case in rats. Thus if a
rat ran a complex maze during the day he might be expected to dream
about it at night. While a rat was awake and learning the maze,
electrical recordings were taken from its hippocampus (an area of the
brain associated with memory formation and storage). Researchers found
that some of these electrical patterns were quite specific and
identifiable depending upon what the rat was doing. Later, when the rats
were asleep and their brain waves indicated that they had entered the
stage where humans normally dream, these same patterns of brain waves
appeared. In fact the patterns were so clear and specific that the
researchers were able to tell where in the maze the rat would be if it
were awake, and whether it would be moving or standing still. Wilson
cautiously described the results, saying, "The animal is certainly
recalling memories of those events as they occurred during the awake
state, and it is doing so during dream sleep and that's just what people
do when they dream."
Find a Therapist
Since a dog's brain is more complex
and shows the same electrical sequences, it is reasonable to assume
that dogs are dreaming, as well. There is also evidence that they dream
about common dog activities. This kind of research takes advantage of
the fact that there is a special structure in the brain stem (the pons)
that keeps all of us from acting out our dreams. When scientists removed
or inactivated the part of the brain that suppresses acting out of
dreams in dogs, they observed that they began to move around, despite
the fact that electrical recordings of their brains indicated that the
dogs were still fast asleep. The dogs only started to move when the
brain entered that stage of sleep associated with dreaming. During the
course of a dream episode these dogs actually began to execute the
actions that they were performing in their dreams. Thus researchers
found that a dreaming pointer may immediately start searching for game
and may even go on point, a sleeping Springer Spaniel may flush an
imaginary bird in his dreams, while a dreaming Doberman pincher may pick
a fight with a dream burglar.
It is really quite easy to
determine when your dog is dreaming without resorting to brain surgery
or electrical recordings. All that you have to do is to watch him from
the time he starts to doze off. As the dog's sleep becomes deeper his
breathing will become more regular. After a period of about 20 minutes
for an average-sized dog his first dream should start. You will
recognize the change because his breathing will become shallow and
irregular. There may be odd muscle twitches, and you can even see the
dog's eyes moving behind its closed lids if you look closely enough. The
eyes are moving because the dog is actually looking at the dream images
as if they were real images of the world. These eye movements are most
characteristic of dreaming sleep. When human beings are awakened during
this rapid eye movement or REM sleep phase, they virtually always report
that they were dreaming.
I recently received a letter from
Joseph Baker, which seems to confirm the idea of dogs having dreams
about their everyday activities. I have taken the liberty of reproducing
part of it here.
"I have an anecdote that you may
find interesting, however it requires some back story. About three years
ago I heard a story on the radio about a cognitive scientist who was
trying to understand sleep and dreams. He had a hypothesis describing
how sensory memories replay themselves during early REM sleep. The study
he published had subjects play Tetris [a computer game where you try to
line up falling blocks of various colors] and then report whether or
not they saw the little Tetris bricks in their dreams. This stuck with
me because the previous night I had very vivid dreams involving a hike I
had been on earlier. I could feel the snow and smell the air as though
it were real.
"This brings me to my dog. Goober
is a basenji, and like many basenjis he hates water and being bathed. As
soon as my wife finishes bathing him he bolts out of the bathroom door,
finds me, and tries to hide behind me or under me. So one day Goober
was forced to be cleaned and underwent his ritual of hiding behind me.
Later that night he was sleep running. He awoke with a start, and then
bolted to my location to hide under my legs. This was very awkward as I
was sitting on the toilet at the time. I believe that he was dreaming,
and I believe that he was dreaming about having a bath. I believe this
because he only engages in this behavior when a bath is involved."
Well Joe, I believe that there are at least two psychologists at MIT who would agree with you.
Chapter 08
Dog Talks and Banker’s Dream
This story was long overdue.
This I extracted from a Dog Banker or more or less from a banker’s dog.
I went to ask for an overdraft
facility to pay my Telephone, Electricity and Water bills for the month
of December from a commercial bank. It was a Friday and I went very
early, even before the bank was open.
You know, in spite of many banks and many facilities one has to wait in the queue to get your own money.
But, if one has to get money from the bank, one has to wait longer in the queue.
Then the questions they ask before
extending whatever the facility they release you on bail like procedure,
I wish I am dead and on a different planet.
Because I was early, I had nothing else but to watch the procedure of opening the bank diligently.
There was a big security guard wearing a big beard.
The officer of a lower rank who comes first was not there yet.
When I entered, dog had a little sniff at me and ignored me as nothing of worth and he knew at a glance I was not a bank thief.
Mind you these dogs are trained to detect thieves and rich people only.
I did fall into neither.
The dog look tired a bit restless, profusely salivating and the security guard looked obviously in a panic mode.
The officer of a lower rank did come and immediately followed by the manager of the bank.
Anyway, I knew the manager very
well and he promptly extended the credit facility and I was off on the
street in a flash having exchanged Christmas and New Year greetings.
He even told me that bank officers are the only ones who never get greeting cards or chocolates.
But my scientific observation even though brief was the reason for the discovery of this story, I am going to tell you.
During our industrial action I
developed a little gadget using Raspberry Pi, the latest IT gadget on
ARM base (not Microsoft fortunately) on the market, one can modify to
one’s own taste from media centre to a server utility.
I decided to record dogs’ dreams and their talks.
Since, the ARM is open source, I have decided not to apply for any industry award as the creation of this century.
Reason being, if we record all what
dogs talk about bankers, economic experts and politicians, I will
be executed by a special decree.
You will get a rare glimpse of only a randomly random but aberrant sample of it.
This gadget works only a short
wireless distance but a considerable distance over frequencies what dogs
can detect but humans cannot.
If I had used wireless distance, I
had to go behind dogs and no dog will relate any story privy to them, if
I follow them on street talks, fearing their extinction from this
planet.
Dogs talks are honest and their dreams are very simple unlike our politicians, fortunately.
I set up a big antenna covering my
sphere of activity and the few banks around me. I had to scan over about
a week to get a proper story, since there were much mundane stories
from Paraya dogs talking about their meagre supply in dustbins and there
were only a few Bank Dogs.
Finally, I got hold over the dog who belonged to this particular bank strangely on street with another Paraya dog.
It was an illuminating story.
The Paraya started the dog talk.
Are you on holiday?
Nope.
You will be sacked from your job know?
I will be, if I do not find my girl friend.
Why?
I put her as my replacement or decoy and she did not turn up today.
That is why I am on the street, can you help me?
NO PROBLEM.
Can you describe the one, I have many girl friends which I have lost count of.
How many you have.
One regular and only a few others since I cannot get leave from duty to roam about.
Then, he said I know this particular one, she is not a Paraya variety anyway but cross between pedigree and Paraya.
I will take you to her but what is around your neck?
It does not look like dog collar or a belt but a necklace.
I do not see bankers wearing artificial metal except gold nowadays with gold prices sky high!
No it is not a necklace but security keys of the bank.
I am taking them to my girl friend and she delivers it to the guard and both of are safe then.
It is very naughty know, the bank is at risk know?
Not as long as the keys are with dogs.
It is the humans one cannot trust.
I am also sure that he will not sleep in his post till he finds the keys.
When I am there. he sleeps and I am doing a service to my master, the bank by this method.
She goes there first and get half of my meal and I immediately follow after his anger towards me had disappeared.
You are very brainy know?
That is how I am a Bank Dog.
I must tell you I have edited a lot
of this story since getting a scanned story is difficult since the dogs
are always on the move and they go through various routes with many
obstacles including magnetic devices installed.
It is not like reading a Sunday paper where from editorial to news to features are doctored.
Then I have to convert the frequencies in them to analogue and word form and many traces are lost and lot of pauses.
Unlike human dogs do not keep on talking and they do other things in between which we are not familiar with.
I will detour here and few lines on
bankers dreams which are retold by dogs while listening to their
conversations after heavy drinks.
The dream are not like my dreams and no need to send them to Maha for interpretations.
They are very simple and only a very few.
One dream is becoming a director of a bank and not a bank officer when one does not have to work.
Other is getting a post in a foreign bank.
They are so real they cannot be categorised as real dreams.
Now I will give a summary form the way a bank security guard works from data analysed from Raspberry Pi modified.
1. They are very good sleeping on duty hours like most of our security guards on duty.
2. They feed the dog half the quota due for the dog.
The better half he eats. Their food is no better than dog food anyway.
3. He buys liqueur from the saved money since their pay is no better.
4. Then he goes to sleep while the dog half hungry does his part of the job.
5. That is why they devised a plot
to get out of the boredom but make sure that the friend dog stays on
guard till the official dog returns after roaming.
The guard who is drunk and doped could not say who is his dog or who the Paraya dog except when he/she is awake.
This is the way both Paraya dogs and pedigree dogs coexist on this small state where money is everything and duty is not.
Chapter 09
Devil Woman
I was down with flu and I had
hundreds of dreams but unfortunately this is one of the few I can
remember. The fever was mild but the relative humidity (my hydrometer
reading was over 80% - without rain) was very high to drive me mad with
discomfort.
When the relative humidity is high
one does not perspire as much as when it is low and if one has fever on
top of it, the discomfort is magnified many a times.
I am not saying it is good for dreaming.
Quite the opposite.
One gets up every few minutes, even
before the full dream is over and one remembers bits and pieces of
jumbled dreams. That make me remember them since getting back to sleep
again is an ordeal due to the discomfort that the warm ambience causes.
I am one who loves warm atmosphere but not with very high humidity.
I cannot believe how the cricketers
in the Asian subcontinent cope with this humidity, leave alone
Europeans. It is strange some part of New Zealand known for heavy rain
is having droughts.
I believe the global warming is taking it shape whether we like it or not.
Sorry for the preamble.
The Dream
I was on my way to a village in a
very remote place. I came across a steep hill on the other side which
appeared to be a cliff. The foot path up was on the rock which appeared
slippery due to rain water dripping down.
On the bottom of the hill there
were few onlookers looking up in amazement to see a young mother
climbing the cliff with two children one in her hand. In a glace
without any hesitation (dressed in footwear not suitable for slippery
rock and a heavy James Bond case in hand), I moved up in case, if the
mother needed help, that I could volunteer.
I suppose I wanted play James Bond in this remote village.
Very ambitious intent.
In couple of fast steps I reached
up to where the woman has just got the older child barely off the
difficult part the hill and was about to push herself up balancing her
child in her hand.
I asked her whether I could help her.
But annoyed, in a loud voice she said NO.
By this time I was balancing on one foot not able to go forward or stop myself slipping down.
I had only one option slip down
ungracefully to the loud laughter of the onlookers. I may have dropped
my suitcase too but woke up with shame.
I was very happy it was a dream.
I immediately sat in front of my computer and emailed it to Maha, the Greatest of all Gods.
He replied in kind with his new global, No Battery Tablet, which is supposed to be bigger than the New Airport in Ceylon.
I thanked him profusely for his support that the inauguration went on smoothly with his divine help.
He said he loves anything airborne, even a weather balloon and Airbus was his high priority for Ceylon.
He also said he would standby with all his might for a few more air planes.
Then I asked him what about the carbon footprint.
Don’t be ridiculous how can a few airbuses will change the world?
That was unexpected not knowing what to say, I retorted, what about the collapse of our economy and debt crisis.
I thought they were play tools like in heaven and did not cost like a Heavenly Jelly Bean.
It is quite the contrary Sir.
I am sorry
I did not know that.
I am not an economist and we do not have a treasury or finance minister in heaven, he said.
What about the cash in heaven.
There is no cash here but eternal goodwill.
Is that so?
So rich people will have no chance of buying a ticket to heaven.
NOWAY as long as I am the BOSS.
Interpretation.
Did you really dream it?
You were very stupid know.
I was incapacitated Sir.
I came down to my bottom dollar of EGO and down to earth instantaneously, Sir.
Well good then.
This interpretation is in three parts.
Why?
Will you wait for a while.
Part I
You did not know that woman was devil.
Wana-mohinie?
Wana-mohinie has only one child, I am told.
She is worse.
She will destroy your image first.
Then she will destroy your stature.
Thirdly she will eat you up live.
That is why you terminated the dream.
Yes.
Part II
Any sensible person in this world should not volunteer any help in Ceylon, even in a village and the UNO is not excluded.
If you tried to do that she would
drop the child in her hand. The onlookers will kill you and this devil
woman would not sweat a bit for her catch.
But this is a Buddhist country know?
How can that happen?
Don’t you know some of the guys supportingBodu Balawageya are devil’s incarnations?
Those fellows will even represent as lawyers for the devil in defence of their case.
I was dumbfounded.
Part III
The wise decision would have been for you to wait at the bottom till this woman safely crossed over to the other side.
But she would not cross but would linger and the onlookers will choose you to help her.
But none of this happened and she did cross to the other side, you know.
That is because while you slipped down you dropped the bag with dollars.
The onlookers killed each other for the few dollars.
She went to call the other devil guys / girls for the feast.
Maha disappeared quickly saying ”Devils always win on earth specially in Ceylon”.
Chapter 10
Dog Barking
This was unusually short but scary dream.
I was woken up late afternoon at 3 P.M. by the dog barking, for me to open the door for my wife who had gone to see her doctor.
The flu that was going around in
our house was not a total disaster as far as I was concerned. I was
getting a big dose of dreams but unfortunately, I can remember only a
few.
The plight or the outcome of the
above dream could have been the same, if the dog did not intervene in
the thick of it, which is not his usual habit anyway.
I was the master of ceremony at a
wedding reception. I was (unfortunately) invited to be one of the
witnesses of the registration of the marriage.
I have the habit of refusing to do
that (I wish I could have the option to refuse my actual ceremony, now
that I am already writing a book on Myth, Mirage and Marriage for young
ones who may or may not embark on this feat on an Airbus in Ceylonese
Airspace.
It looks like all Sri-Lankan flights are like Wedding on high space or stratosphere anyway.
I cannot remember whether I was appearing for the bride or the bridegroom.
It does not matter.
I am going to send this toMaha the, Greatest and I will get those minor details which I cannot remember from him, in the body of the interpretation.
I will be brief here since the interpretation fromMaha was very, very long and interesting.
As as usual, I was on site, on time
and it did not look like a Airbus but a Skyscraper of many flights and
almost touching the stratosphere and I was feeling dizzy having reached
the dizzy heights.
I went to the toilet in case, I
throw my breakfast on the dancing floor and had a very light touch up of
my personality and got seated on an easy chair with panoramic view (of
all the invitees entering) of the lobby.
The idea was to take cover, if any
of my doctor friends or enemies (mainly politicians in low offices since
they are jealous, I occupy one of their tasks; for me it is no
different whether I am signing a birth certificate, death certificate or
a report of an not treatable cancer) would join the party.
I was an early bird and little while later the registrar came with a commando outfit giving him protection.
I thought to myself, this must be wedding of a son or daughter of a commanding officer.
Then an Imam came with his retinue
which looked liked a guerilla outfit and took up the position covering
him from all directions.
He had a book which looked like Quran in his hand.
The outfit had something like
machetes or similar ancient battle outfits. I was not sure whether they
were protecting the Quran, the Imam or both.
I had a second look to see whether he was our veteran Fousi but he did not look liked him.
Little later an old Pusari came in with an outfit which looked no different from LTTE commando outfit in combat.
They were holding a banana leaf over his head and I could not see his face.
By this time I was feeling the thump in my heart wondering whether I landed on the wrong footage.
Then, in a little while a personality who looked liked the Pope came in and he had Royal Air Force cover.
He was the only one who came in
with his own seat which looked like an inclined flat boat with three
rockets like structures in front.
The bottom had a hovercraft type of cushion and it looked amazingly modern outfit, fit for a modern Pope.
The air force was in full attention not at ease.
Then a tiny chap came in with a
huge elephantine wardrobe squarish, suitable for a library and it had
four locks on all four sides but the guy did not have the keys in his
hand but a remote control to control the wheels and a something similar
to a tablet computer console.
Then, after some delay a Buddhist monk came in with a laptop in his hand and with no escort.
He also had a remote control which
he pointed to the huge wardrobe and opened and closed each one of the
locks as if he was checking integrity by a remote control and took up a
high seat.
The look of him was very reassuring and I felt the pump in my heart easing off almost to a stall or standstill.
With all this entrees almost 50% of the floor was occupied and little by little invitees arrived filling the vacant seats.
Then of course before I could witness the arrival of the bride and the bridegroom, I was woken up and missed the full scenario.
I have to sent this toMaha
for him to fill in the blanks in my memory and the appropriate
interpretation and to reveal the missing second half of the dream.
As usual theMaha, the Greatest of allGodsresponded almost instantly.
Why are you still sweating?
I said I had a thump in the heart
which eased off with the arrival of the monk but with the global warming
in full flight, the sweat does not dry up easily.
I asked him was it a funeral or a wedding.
A wedding, my boy.
I was there to witness the registration, wasn’t I?
Wrong.
I was there to see that the proceeding went on smoothly.
No.
I was on official duty.
Sort of.
I had to be there to examine the putative couple for their correct sex.
No, why?,Maha asked.
Now these guys wearUnisex Jeans, sometime it is difficult to say one is a boy or a girl.
Not like good old days.
Why on hell I was there?
It looked like hell anyway.
You were there to take blood samples.
To check the bride pregnant or not?
Urine sample would do it know, and a technician can do that without a doctor.
Why me?
You know this story is futuristic like all your previous ones.
There is a new wedding protocol.
By testing Blood?
I don’‘t get you.
It is called an ethnicity test.
Each ethnic group has to have a blood test and depending on the result the wedding ceremony takes its course.
That is why all the dignitaries are there.
When one announces the result there is the very drawn out deliberation to fit the guy and the girl into the ethnic protocol.
This is Greek to me.
Can you tell me you are pure Sinhala.
No sir.
Not a Tamil or Muslim.
No.
You don’t have Caucasian blood?No.
Why?
We are a mixed race Sir, one cannot
say by a blood test that one is Sinhala or Tamil and only by
registration, descent and convention we are grouped to an ethnic group,
Sir.
That is the point.
Now learned geneticist had worked out a formula for the race in Ceylon.
It goes like this.
1. A Muslim = 80% Sinhala blood + 10 Tamil blood + 10% Arabian or Caucasian
2. A Tamil = 60% Tamil blood + 30% Sinhala blood + 10 Arabic or Caucasian
3. A Sinhala man or woman = 30% Sinhala + 30 Tamil + 30 Muslim + 10 unknown, perhaps Caucasian in origin.
4. A Burgher man or woman = 85% Sinhala + 5% Tamil + 5% Muslim + 5% Caucasian
You mean to say Burghers (85%) and Muslim (80%) have more Sinhala blood.
Yes they have, they did not bring
females when they settled first and they had several wives (5 for
Muslims and 100 for Caucasians) and their male genes were diluted by 70%
to almost 90%.
That is a scientifically establish fact, now.
What all this got to do with my participation at the wedding ceremony.
The result is anybody’s guess at the time of registration.
You have to look at the blood result and make a value judgement.
It is easy know?
One looks at the above formula and decide and a clerical staff can do that know?
Why a doctor involved?
Wait a minute.
That is a working formula to guide a
doctor but not foolproof or full proof and nobody tested from the time
of the testing began had fitted exactly into any of the four categories
and almost 99% were borderline cases.
Just, touch and go!
It is hair splitting and sometimes brain splitting exercise.
You know the little guy who came in.
He is a statistician.
He does some statistics and fit the
guy or girl in the best fit Bell’s Curve and then decide how much
skewed and on the skew score decides his or her ethnic group.
Sometimes they have to average the
two scores, like the Z-Score average made by the Department of Education
and then the panel sit together and decide how much Muslim, how much
Sinhala, Tamil or Burgher traditions are to be enacted and incorporated
in the ceremony.
Then, the Buddhist monk will decide in which book it should be registered.
Why is that?
The panel is the best for that decision, know.
When this ceremony is being held, the percentage of Buddhists have fallen to the lowest.
His duty is to increase the number
of Sinhala Buddhists, so that ethnic harmony is maintained and a steady
stream of guys and girls are allowed to enter theSasana.
I do not understand.
The percentage dropped since most of the Buddhists have left the home front and joined theSasana, like the Gautama Buddha and attainedNibbana,the Supreme.
The rest learned various foreign languages and went abroad on propagatingBuddhism in theWest and never returned to the motherland like an average Ceylonese.
The SinhalaBuddhist population went down drastically due to their own good nature and goodwill.
The real threat is to theBuddha Sasana,
Buddhists monk cannot reverse his decision to enter the lay life and procreate.
You meant to say making young ones to become a monks is a very bad idea.
Not at all, since majority will attainNibbana in one go, it is good forBuddhism.
It may be bad for heaven but on earth, by using the above formula and the panel discussion a certain quota is vested on SinhalaBuddha Sasana.
But, I thought, theBuddha Sasana is for everybody and their is no race attached to it.
That never works on Earth or Ceylon, one has to have a political strategy, just to preserve pureTheravadaor anyVada that may arise on earth.
Good Bye.
See you soon with another dream.
Chapter 11
Another Dream of Holy Water
Part of this is a dream and part of it is not a dream but I won’t tell which is which, one has to figure out which is which.
Let me dish it out.
There was a hermit levitating on a T-Junction in this country.
Which part of the country is a top secret (destination) only the defence establishment knows it.
Denomination of the hermit one has
to guess and by higher order decree I am not supposed to declare (this
order is not from Maha Brahma the Greatest).
This hermit is blind but has a wonderful ear for gossip.
Fortunately the story starts with a rabbit.
He was running and in full flight to escape from a funny fox called Lyon Fox of international repute.
This fox is four legged and certainly not two legged variety one sees in our parliament.
He was on full flight and suddenly came across the blind hermit sitting right across his path at the T-Junction.
He took a giant leap and had a direct spray of his number 1 on the face of the hermit in meditation mode.
A full blown watery paint packed with androids which one does not need even a brush to paint.
Jet spray of the rabbit did it.
Oh, Holy Water said the hermit.
What nonsense, this hermit must be
totally blind and then the rabbit said loudly, “the fox won’t catch not
even my Ata Deaka” and thought to himself, I am lucky this hermit is
blind lest he might reroute the fox in my direction.
In a little later, the fox came in
fully exhausted put his Ferrodo Brake in front of the hermit and
politely asked the hermit did you see a rabbit coming this way?
I wouldn’t know but what I know is that he is a male, the hermit replied.
What a revelation fox talked to
himself and he sprayed his landmark paint on the hand of the hermit that
was stretching downward (pointing to earth and not to right or left)
expecting it to direct in the direction of the way the rabbit took.
The hermit said Oh, Holy Water for the second time, what a a lucky day for me in meditation.
The hermit took a little bit of
“not so holy water” from the other hand and applied on his top thinking
that in no time he will be in Jhana or Trance state.
Fox was bemused and looked up and
sniffed to realise that the rabbit's urine was on the hermit’s face and
not on the ground for him to trace the path of the rabbit.
He moved up confused not knowing that the hermit was blind or gone mad due to the scorching heat (due to global warming).
Then when the hermit was almost in
trance state a very prominent Imam came with his hat in his hand and
asked the hermit “could you hide my hat for a few minutes”.
Why should I hide your hat I probably would wear it and it is very hot know?
That is for you to decide and please be discreet about it.
Why?
There is a Buddhist monk and an army deserter is coming after me.
Why?
Simply because I am wearing this hat.
What will happen if I wear it for YOU.
I would not know but please be discreet about it.
Have you got Holy Water with you?
I had two incidents of “Holy Water,
sprayed on my face and hand and if I get the third dose of Holy Water, I
might even attain a higher level of meditation.
We are not supposed to drink Holy
Water but you may ask the army deserter who is coming this way and he
took his leave and entered the path which the fox took.
Then the army deserter came in and
stopped at the T-Junction and asked the hermit directing his bayonet up
“did you see a man wearing a hat”.
He said no.
Don’t con?
I am blind but he did come this way and left very quickly.
I see.
Shall I give you the HAT?
What HAT?
The hat he was wearing?
I do not want his hat but I want the man, the army deserter replied.
As he was leaving, the hermit asked for Holy Water and the ex-army man, said.
No problem, Sir, here is the pouch.
You can have all of it.
Thank you Sir, the hermit said.
Before he could sip a bit of the Holy Water, the monk with his saffron cloth tugged up came in.
Did you see a man wearing a HAT?
I would not know?
You Cheat said the monk and proceeded up.
As he was leaving the hermit said,
If you take the path the army deserter took you will have Non Halal Meat.
If you take the path the man without a HAT went, you are sure to get Halal Meat.
Confused the monk took the path which the army deserter took.
Then after a while a Catholic Priest came in looking for his Holy Water.
He stopped at the T-Junction.
Took his hat off.
Exchanged pleasantries and said he was coming after the ex-army man but he could not keep pace with him.
Which direction did he go.
I would not know?
But I can give you the Holy Water and the Pouch with the Inscribed (USA) Bottle.
How come?
He told him it was a very successful Meditation Day and he had Holy Water for the third time.
That calls for celebrations, said the priest.
They consumed what was left of the
Holy Water and in a little while both of them were in high heaven
without any meditative effort.
They parted in a little while and
the Catholic Priest thank the hermit profusely for the company and the
lost and found inscribed HOLY bottle.
In parting he said I would have lost the Diocese if I did not replace it by next Sunday.
No problem, said the hermit and if
you drop in this way please bring some more Holy Water and I do not care
in which bottle it comes in.
No problem said the Catholic Priest, shall I bring Ata Atack to go with it.
THANK YOU.
PS.
This I did not want to send it to Maha Brahma but with some hindsight, I did send it for his perusal.
For the first time I had a barrage of questions from him and less of a interpretation.
Questions were;
1. What is this Halal?
2. Why do you wear a hat?
3. What is holy water?
4. What is Ata Deaka?
5. What is Ata Ata?
6. What is inscription?
7. What is T-junction?
8. What is Ferrodo Brake?
9. What is diocese
10.What is Holy Bottle?
And many more mundane questions.
This is the first time I got such a audience fromMaha the Greatest.
I decided to include the answers in my book, the third edition of Dreams and not in a blog post.
Only problem is I still have not
found a proper cover photograph for the book. After a little soul
searching, I decided to put a photo of a Chameleon.
That foots the bill in my belief,
since as a Sri-Lankan I have to change my colour instantly depending on
to whom I relate my day to day problems.
I am going to wear several hats
(not Prof De Bono's Hats) with multi-coloured layers (Skins) and shed
layer by layer, like what reptiles do.
Shedding a layer of skin from time to time.
Chapter 12
This dream was bit strange.
I was on holiday (not New Year) and was in strange place which to me was a nature reserve.
I do not know (this is a true dream
not made up) whether I was in Yala, Wasgamuwa or Wilpattu. I had never
been there and when I was proceeding, by strange coincidence I met one
of my colleagues (he was true to life and I do not want to discover his
identity and let me say he was our head of the department, I work.
He was dazed, looked as if he was
pretty drunk and could not help me finding my way toward the nature
reserve but he was demanding help from me, instead. Knowing the chappy
very well who enjoys a hard drink I had no option but to help him.
He asked me to find a urine bottle that he had collected and test it for alcohol.
He wanted to prove that he was not
drunk and innocent. I said, do not be stupid do not give urine for
testing one can put something to it like what they do it when testing
sports people, especially Sri-Lankan.
Besides, it is not the done thing for alcohol
He said, it is for drugs not alcohol.
I said wait a while till the effect of drug or alcohol to wear off and offer a sample of blood.
This is not a city, the periphery
of the nature reserve and one can wait till one reaches a civilised
station to test. I could not convince him and he demanded I should find
the urine bottle.
I asked where?
Then he pointed out to a place
where I found a bottle which looked ancient artefact and was about to
hand over the specimen and I was woken up.
Actually, I woke up because of the fire crackers and it was auspicious time for lighting the hearth.
I said to myself, it is very
auspicious time for my dreams and my wife would do the necessary
preparation and dropped to sleep instantaneously.
My dog was hovering with fear of
fire crackers and I directed him under my bed. Before, I could bat an
eyelid I was in another dream mode.
This part had no relationship to the first part.
That’s what I thought.
It was very brief.
I saw a she elephant shot dead.
Then before she died she delivered
her baby in good condition and took her last breath. By some strange
coincidence there was another nursing elephant mother nearby who took
care of the placenta and the baby.
Having done obstetrics in my life
delivery of a baby was no surprise but seeing an elephant baby coming
out to this world was an exciting episode even in my dream. There was no
screaming, grunts or panic panting, as when women were delivering but
she was in excruciating pain of the bullet wound that had pierced the
chest not the belly fortunately.
I was woken up angry.
I immediately posted it toMaha Brahma since I also has a request for a partner for the delinquent swift in our little garden.
He responded immediately.
Why were you so angry?
Did the bank officer gave you a call on the New Year Day asking you to pay the debts?
How is your new telephone extension?
How did you know, I asked?
I keep an eye on you these days and you were bit liberal on your cash?
Weren’t you?
How do you know?
Every time you do a good thing, I get a little tinkle here.
That is news to me.
It was nice of you to give a
digital radio with a rechargeable battery to your blind friend. I got a
thump here and he was profusely thanking me, instead of you.
Did he?
YES.
Why did he, did not thank me?
Did he think that I was a god.
Sort of.
I was angry that a she elephant pregnant was shot at.
Can this happen in this blessed land?
YES all the time, he said.
I got more worked up.
Do not be so angry.This is new year time, know.I said I get worked up more on new year time.
Why?
Don’t you read my blog post about peanuts and cashew nuts.
But cashew nut are cheap in heaven, know.
But they are very expensive, here.
I bought a sample for a cake my
daughter made and she did not put them on, since, she told me it was not
enough to fill the cake.
I asked her what happened to cashew?
I ate them all, she said.
Did you give some to Mallie.
YES.
Not only cashew everything is
expensive and this the time every household is hot with anger and they
attribute it to things like chillies (as a scapegoat).
Even chillies are expansive.
I know all this but I was pulling your leg.
How did your new year go by.
It took the whole day for me to clean up my fish tanks.
This time only a few fish died due to warm weather.
I took all the precautions.
Only problem is when it rains it
pours and fills up the tanks and with the overflow, fish slip out to the
cement floor and I have to catch them and put them back.
Is that so?
YES.
When it is dry, the water level
goes down rapidly and I have to fill them up with water. Besides, algal
bloom take over in a few days.
Then the fish die of lack of oxygen.
It is no fun looking after fish now.
Soon I am going to give up caring for fish.
Do you eat fish now.
NO.
Aren’t you interested in the interpretation?
I am but I am bit confused.
Did you have some liquor?
Not even wine this time.
Why?
I cannot afford.
Why did you ask that question?Just for my own sanity.
Why?
I had to put the two parts together and took a bit of pondering.
It was a bit of a brain teaser?
I thought you were drunk and was pulling a fast one to test my ability.
None of it.
I won’t do that even to a friend of mine.
I do not believe you.
Was it my Head?
What head, your nut?
The head of our department?
I see.
NO.
Were they connected?
YES.
How come?
Wait will you.
Can ask you a favour?
Fire on.
Can you find a partner for the little swift who has become a problem lately.
Would you mind waiting for the next season?
No problem.
Are you ready.
YES.
Interpretation
This actually happened in the pretext of Eco-tourism.
They take children from hifi families to the wilderness for shooting wild animals.
Wild boar?
NO.
Big game animals and they stay there for weeks on end and have barbecue in the jungle.
My goodness.
Is it true?
Yes.
Do they shoot elephants?
Yes if they are tuskers.
But a she elephant?
That was an accident.
When they were shooting the game this she elephant came across.
The young guy had a direct hit at her.
Who is this young Guy?
I cannot tell you due to security concern.
Highly connected guy?
How do you know?
That is what is happening usually.
Let us skip that part.
Who is that guy drugged or drunk?
He was the chief of the conservation and not your head.
Thank God for that.
I cannot work under person like him, you know who is drunk.
If my head drinks or drugged like that, I probably will leave the university.
University guys are good at drinking, know?
Yes, but one must not go beyond one’s limit. then one loses, everything including status.
This guy actually videoed the whole incident.
He was caught by the son of the big shot and drugged to cover up the episode leaking to the media.
Then he was imprisoned and charged for use and abuse of drugs.
The jungle is the production factory for drugs from 1970s know?
It is not a big deal, know?
Yes, yes but one must not catch the culprits.
Both Games, Hunting and Drug cultivation should continue under the patronage of politicians.
That cannot be done now with theBodu Balawegayain in full spring, know.
What nonsense?
It is only the front organisation, the real organisation is under full cover and protection.
What can one do?
Practically nothing unless one changes the whole administrative thing.
Those heads are only figure heads and without any power.
Real heads are politicians' sons and daughters.
They actually select headless and heedless people to run conservation and many more institutions including banks now.
Oh, I see.
What happened to the video.
It was sent to a film award in USA and got a Gold.
How come?
It was edited and dubbed to look as if they were really protecting the forest.
The son got a big post in the World Wild life conservation.
Just like Prince Philip?
YES.
But Prince Philip does not do things like that, know?
That is the work of the foreign affairs.
Prince foolishly believed the protocol.
Oh, I see.
He is bit stupid know.
WHO?
Prince Philip.
Do you think intelligent guys are born to Royal Families.
I suppose not.
The guy (Head of Conservation)
became insane and he was warded and he always ask for the bottle with
urine sample when a nurse comes near him.
I was not a nurse, know.
You stupid, don’t you realise this is a dream?
I suppose, I have to take your stance.
That’s all.
In fifty or less years from now, there is no fuel for airbuses and vehicles.
Most of this country go to wilderness again.
That is good know.
The guy who was involved in Fun and
Games was prosecuted for all the offences he was involved in, while his
father was in office and he slipped to the jungle when the father died
and was living in a jungle hut.
One day, the baby elephant now big, came in and did what he did to his mother to the guy.
What Karma is that?
That is the Karma that has effect in this life.
One does not have to wait for another life.
See, YOU SOON and he disappeared
Today is Earth Day.
You can do five simple things to help we save the planet.
1. Plant a tree on your birth day and look after it for the rest of your life.
Spend a few (5) minutes each day caring for it.
If you do not have a big garden go
and buy a big pot to suit your needs and at least plant a jasmine and
make sure once it is mature, that you make few more sapling from it's
long branches into smaller pot and give it to a friend to care for it.
It flowers almost throughout the year.
There are three varieties.
Sri-Lankan variety which is
difficult to care and is a slender plant, the Indian variety and the
commoner garden one (needs a big pot) which is rugged and can withstand
dry warm weather better. It flowers almost every day.
2. Eat veggies
3. Walk.Do not drive your car but use the public transport.
4. Use reusable carrier bag and refuse to use polythene
5. Switch off all unnecessary bulbs in your house and change to energy saving bulbs.
Having done that make life digital and use electronic mail instead of paper mail.
Go digital and make your life paper free.
Chapter 13
This was an interesting dream episode.
I was deep into sleep and I felt like if somebody was scanning my thoughts and emotions.
It was just like the close encounters of the alien type.
Whatever, thought moment that had arisen in my brain was as it were hijacked or stolen or scanned, to see what I was thinking.
For instance, if the thought of a
dog came into my mind, the scanning was not for the picture of the dog
in my head but in what context (of the thought) the thought moment had
arisen in my brain.
Say, fear or caring or possession.
If the thought was say about a cricket match.
It was not the current state of the match or the ball by ball commentary, the scanner was interested.
It was the state of my mind and the emotions that were aroused that were scanned.
It was not the text but the context or the intent that the scanners were looking for.
It was bit of a science fiction of Freudian type.
I got a nice feeling about it and at the same time felt this scanner was linked to a super computer.
It was not scanning individual subjects but it was global in nature and the group of people, as whole was scanned.
Say, it was scanning theBodu Bala Senaoutfit
in action, it was scanning the entire lot (those upfront and those
behind the scene plotters far away from the scene of action were
monitored) for the motive/s stated and the ulterior motives and emotions
of the designers were scanned.
Freud would have been happy if he
had this super computer for his psychoanalysis. It was, as it were, all
human emotions were scanned before these prospective aliens hunters or
explorers landed on this planet.
The moment this alien thing came
into my mind, I was woken up abruptly. In the back of my mind, I wanted
to record, the first alien encounter and get the full credit to my name.
Alas, I realised that it was only dream.
This was 2.30 A.M in the morning and I went back to my sleep for further sojourn in the dream world.
I was not left stranded.
I was in the dream world again as it were the continuation of the previous episode.
This time the scene was strange but somewhat similar to a street market of the ancient type.
But on this occasion, I was the one
who was doing the scanning from above, not the aliens. As it were, I
was hijacked by the aliens to do their spy work without any payment.
I had volunteered to work free to
strike another first by a human in a close encounter. There was a group
of guys collected together and the elders were removing cloths out in
the open in front of their kith and kin. They hardly had any cloths but
wearing vestiges or rags, not worth wearing.
The looked like our Veddhas of ancient time.
Then in the same group some were assembling what looked like a Giant Arrow in preparation for combat.
It shape was similar to a rocket and in preparation of launching.
Then as I was scanning, at a little
distance in a higher plane there was a group clad only covering the
bottoms with bare tops, somewhat similar to priests in a Tamil Kovil.
They were in whites were parading up some giant steps that led, as it were to the heaven.
Then there was another group which
looked like traders trading some precious metal hidden in ornamental
things and leaves of medicine.
It did not look serene like the priests marching up the giant ladder to heaven.
This was like dark side of Colombo port where traders are dealing with illegal stuff.
In other word they were smuggling.
Then there was another group which
gathered on the embankment of a river struggling to get on board what
looked like a hastily constructed and poorly equipped ferry.
The fifth group was in a large
airport with few air planes ready to board passengers, in fact thousands
of fleeing subjects waiting in a queue to get on board the few seats
available and a large contingent of security personnel were checking
their travel documents.
Only a few were allowed to board.
Interpretation
This looked a unique situation related to Sri-Lanka.
Somewhat similar to tsunami but of a bigger magnitude.
Maha'sexplanation was mandatory.
He was quick to respond with broad smile.
You are getting more and more dreams.
Have you been eating a diet which stimulate dreams?
No, Sir.
I am having few episodes of memory loss in wakeful state.
It not a good thing in my old age.
Memory loss is an early sign of dementia.
I am training myself to remember all my dreams to activate my memory potential.
Unlike in the past I record them in short form and then try to put the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Naturally, I forget most of my dreams but send you only the interesting ones for interpretation.
I also discovered a hidden potential.
If I am in a good dream and woken
up (not by you) but due to mosquitoes or some bodily irritation like
wanting to go to the loo, I go back to the dream mode and continue with
where I left.
Coming back to this dream it looks like the dream is related to Sri-Lanka and they are in panic mode.
Is that so.
Yes, it is.
It very simple.
It is related your scientific
prediction related to global warming and small islands getting encircled
by rising sea water above 4000 feet.
My goodness, my city is under 1600 feet.
Don't worry, you have long gone, this dream is well into the future.
Let me start with the fifth group.
Who are they?
They are the IMF guys and girls who have come on the final round of debt collection.
They want to vanish with all the wealth.
There was a big crowd there, Know?
Yes those who had some connection were following the IMF traits.
Then what was the fourth group.
They were the guys and power brokers aligned to the central bank and the politicians with shoddy deals.
They were trying to pilfer whatever left in the country onto their own coffers, illegally of course.
They are the counter current to IMF.
The third group is the Tamils of Indian descent trying to reach heaven in a rush.
The fourth group is the Sri-Lankan Muslims trying to flee to Middle East.
The fifth group is the modern Veddhas trying to escape into space in a space craft of their own design.
What was the outcome?
Who survived.
None except the few IMF guys who had private planes and the Indian Tamils who piled up on the steep mountains survived.
Rest succumbed when the sea water hit the land in a flash never seen in the history of this planet.
It was all a mad rush and there was no time.
It was end of the world for most of the Sri-Lankans.
If they had some airports in the hill region instead near the sea, they would have saved a few thousands.
What happened to the animals, especially the elephants.
Unfortunately, elephants had gone extinct by this time.
Birds escaped to higher ground with many of the smaller animal species.
Wilpattu and Yala were under water and there were no animals reserves left.
Can you tell me the time scale.
I am not suppose to tell you.
Why?
Then you would stop dreaming for future and he disappeared in a flash.
Chapter 14
X-File 02
This again a short dream.
I was in two places, as it were.
May be video conferencing but bit of bizarre nature.
Let me say there were at least two
families not closely knit but coming to an adventurous stage of
coexisting or cohabiting in a cafeteria of some kind.
All were getting ready for a lunch or dinner.
There were entrees and liquor and the like not in liberal quantities but somewhat on ration.
Let me say like a typical Sri-Lankan wedding with limited number of guests and tables and chairs.
But this scenario is much more on a miniature scale.
Minimum of two families but maximum of three in each.
It is like a match making party with two families with Kupuwa or the match maker in the middle.
Since this middle man or something
similar hindrance was there neither party was making an advance but
making some boring exchanges.
Not loggerhead but painfully boring.
I was getting uneasy not knowing to find an easy way out of this stalemate not any visible signs of checkmate in place.
We had not come to the main course, still on entrees and suddenly, there was something like gooey on the floor.
Bit like chocolate or “chock ice” cream scattered like a puppy (dog )shit.
Then suddenly a little girl in grubby attire came in with a broomstick and started removing the dirt on the floor.
Her dress was dirtier than the dirt on the floor and it looked very pathetic to say the least and revolting.
Then a middle aged women came in, probably her mother or her master to take her place.
She grinned and said this place is better.
If you go to a shanty in the
seashore in Sri-Lanka, this is perfectly normal and this place is much
better even without cleaning.
That was her way to dodge the issue at hand.
I was annoyed and woke up immediately.
I was relieved of the tension inside me.
I did not want to go back to sleep for a while.
But did not want to forget the dream altogether and penned it down immediately (before I forget) to be sent to Maha.
Interpretation
Maha was quick to respond.
Well, are you having lot of lunch parties or chocolates with liqueur inside as entrees.
No for the first and yes for the latter.
I skip my lunch now.
Why?
If I save my lunch I can feed my dog.
If I feed my dog, I have to starve a bit.
You mean to say dog food is cheap.
On the contrary.
Dog food especially imported is expensive but human food is like dog food anyway.
If there is anything by the name of human food whether imported or local it is expensive, now.
Fuel is expensive.
If you have two meals a day one has to live in the darkness without electricity to save on the fuel bill.
If you want to have some lights in the night one has to skip a meal.
Which is more expensive, fuel or food?
Both.
Even fodder is expensive, I mean the grass.
That is why milk food and cheese are expensive.
Besides my dog loves cheese, so I am going through a vicious cycle of satiety and starvation.
If my satiety is satisfied the dog suffers and my dog's satiety is satisfied, I am on starvation diet.
I prefer the latter and my belt does not to hold my trousers in hemline and slip down my bottoms.
Having seen this my tailor, jokingly said, you need a brace to hold it up.
I told him, it has come down by three inches.
He said two inches is enough to slip it down on anybody.
Now I am wondering whether to have a brace or more food or starve the dog.
Is that complicated Sri-Lankan life now.
Yes.
When I was there as a paraya or stray dog the life was very easy, know.
It is this Bulath (betel) regime know, Bath (rice) as a promise, there is enough Bulath but little Bath (rice) for satiety.
In any case when there is betel in the mouth, one cannot have rice as a delicacy.
I think Bulath is an antidote to Bath or satiety.
Aren't you interested in the interpretation?
Yes, my lord.
In time to come there going to be food scarcity in a global scale.
It is all due to global warming, droughts and floods.
When the temperature rices above 40
degrees, most of the varieties of grain will be fail to produce enough
yield and gradually become extinct.
There is no time for the drought resistant strains to get establish in time.
There will be chaos, especially in the tropics.
Sri-Lanka will be like Dubai.
The regime will have to pay the debts before the grain stock.
There will be political upheavals
of unprecedented scale. Parties are for only for two families and that
is also when wedding are being held in secret location, never in hotels.
People who are hungry will get the smell of any party and they invariably gate crash as cleaners.
Then the mayhem follows.
That is why I stop the dream in mid stream.
Then he vanished without a trace.
Chapter 15
The Dream
Its Interpretation From Heaven
Dream seven was a short one and bit bizarre.
It was a very short one and I woke
up with some anger before I could finish viewing it with normal calm and
satirical intents associated with my dreams.
It was a small cubicle with two way entrance.
I saw little brat who showed a mirror to a robust money.
The monkey took the mirror in his
hand and bashed over the toddlers head with glass pieces all over the
place and vanished through the side entry.
Before I could summon my senses and
get ready to view another came in through the same door with something
in the hand like a club and bashed again on the toddler and he fell
down.
I hate children being ill treated and woke up with a broomstick in my hand.
Well it was a dream and I put the
broomstick where it should be and tried to memorise the story before I
could forget it and go into trance of another mediocre dream like
getting a fat salary or winning a lottery from heaven.
So there you are, I could remember it to send an email to Maha.
He responded quickly.
He pulled an armchair laid himself for a long interpretation.
I told it was very short one and what was the long of it.
He said good that you woke up.
You would have ended up with a heart attack in your dream.
Me, on a dream?
Second part was violent and it was all out war like LTTE and Armed Forces.
You mean to say LTTE won.
No stupid.
Then International Community who backed the terror won.
No stupid.
I was fully confused.
Don't you realize this is a futuristic dream.
What was the time scale? I asked him.
In evolutionary term it is short but significant in about 100 years.
Who are they?
Have you seen the Planet of Apes.
Yes.
Then it is somewhat similar.
There were series of nuclear accident not related to war but equipment malfunction like in Japan.
It was spread by a mutation of the
Israel virus that hit Iran nuclear facility. It went around the entire
world in mater of two weeks and catastrophic destruction ensued.
Millions and millions of people and
animals died and the whole world was stinking with chemicals and dead
bodies animals (almost all dog population except few wild dogs) and
humans.
For sometime there appeared no life on earth except few plants.
Then there were two mutant species one humanoid and one ape, amongst many others.
Humanoid were short and was of toddler size.
The apes were slightly bigger and
taller and were dominating the world. They pushed the humanoids to
barren lands and islands where monkeys could not reach and there were no
tree cover except tiny farm lands.
Why are they small?
Food in short supply and that is the way the genes have been designed to last critical periods of evolution on Earth.
Big do not survive but midgets do.
Or I see.
I saw a paper on Palaeontological
evidence to say that when a catastrophe of this nature occurs the
surviving animals fill the niche as it were and it is the norm.
That is a stupid idea know?
Maha was not impressed with that theory.
I asked why?
This is not a natural catastrophe
but artificial and man made. It affected the entire biodiversity
including plants and it does not leave ground for a niche or any
opportunity for the rest.
See what happened to the entire dog population vanished.
What remained really went wild.
They went backwards in evolution and not forward like the humanoids with short stature.
Elephants were decimated like the dinosaurs.
You mean to say end of human intelligence.
I suppose so.
Then he had a very sorry and worried look.
I asked why?
Did the effect filtered to the heaven?
No.
Then?
If this happens who is going to dream for me?
Even animals and humanoid do dream know?
I said.
That is besides the point.
Their dreams are not futuristic like yours.
Give me a break and extend my agonising stay on earth?
Would you?
I may have to do that till the sun shines.
Please don't.
I will consider a proposal to the President (in his dreams) to have a say and increase your salary.
Would you?
I will try the dream method first and if it fails I will try the Dr. White's oil method.
Thank you Sir.
Then he vanished.
Chapter 16
Bank Officer who became a Monk
This is again a real dream and no
real monk was involved in this racket. All Ceylonese monks are of high
esteem and some may even have attained Dyana State. Of course few of
them distort Dhamma for gain in this life and the dream is about such a
monk.
No pun intended to Sasana.
Before that, I must say a few words about dreams and how to obtain a diplomatic passport.
I have obtained my last passport
that expires at the age of 80 and I have no intention of renewing it
except for putting an application for my next round of birth, as the
mighty Director of Hell or Apaya.
I have three books on Dreams I, II, and III and I have detailed how I reserved a place for Apaya Directorship, in them.
I intend to write a book on sleep in due course.
This is a preview.
There are two two types of sleep.
1. Real deep sleep of 4 phases.
In one of these phases one retains memory of the subject matter of a new discipline.
Deep sleep is vital for students.
I started loosing memory due to excess of regular alcohol.
I stopped drinking and memory improved.
I have a book on "Joy of Alcohol" at Amazon for enlightenment.
Lack of sleep incurred when I was reviewing 100 Linux distributions non stop at this blog spot.
In that scenario I forgot the PIN numbers of my bank cards for three months.
Luckily I had a saving passbook at the bank and survived the financial crisis.
During this period I devised my own method to remember my passwords for different emails, I have.
In three months without regression or help from a psychiatrist I regained my memory to 80% and the bank PIN numbers.
I did not ask the bank to change the PIN number.
Have to remember another number was a toll order.
Getting back to my old number would actually reinforce my memory channel.
This is where I disagree with digital banking.
The bank server remembers it for you and it impairs your memory.
This discussion is relevant to my dream retold here.
By the way, I sleep well.
The other type of sleep is REM or Rapid Eye Movement Sleep.
If one is woken up during this sleep one remembers the dream.
I have no idea why we dream and what physiological role it has.
My theory is it erases the action potential in certain parts of brain cells, so the awake state reality is maintained.
I do not subscribe to unconscious mind at all.
Mind is in a continuous stream and flows from awake to dream state to awake.
There is no break in thread unless on kicks the bucket.
I have two books on mind, too.
Read them for detail.
Deep Sleep and REM sleep alternate and one has more of REM states.
In other words one has more dreams.
My scenario is I go to sleep well and I have a rhythm of 4REM hours and 4 hours of deep sleep.
8 hours in total.
I go to sleep early and wake up around 4AM to 5AM.
Back at home I switch on the old PC
or NUC and do some work until it is 7.30AM when I come out for 15
minutes for Sun Bathing for VitD.
By the way, the computer heat keeps me warm (dog too).
The bees leave by 6AM and the birds leave at 7AM. Crow comes last and I do not want to upset their daily routine.
4 hours of Deep Sleep is enough for an adult and children and babies have more deep sleep to assimilate new data.
I go bit deeper and I say one has to erase the memory of the immediate past birth to enter into this life of rebirth.
My current problem is I wake up at
5AM and due to morning cold (not extreme like in UK), I do not come down
to the pantry to make a cup of tea.
From 5AM to 7.30AM, I have three doses of REM sleep and the dream in the last REM, I remember in bits and pieces.
Being a satire man, I insert a few pieces of my own to make it narrative.
Now let me come to passports.
This information I have gathered from YouTube and I have seen only one type of passport.
There are 3 typed of passports in Ceylon.
1. An ordinary passport I have no VISA except Travel VISA.
2. Special passports for MPs like Wira Wansa and his Family members.
3. Diplomatic passport.
4. There is another called dual passport for Sri-Lankans who are resident in other countries.
One had to pay Rs.500,000 sometime ago and this fee has gone up.
There is woman PM in Ceylon who is well known as a high class prostitute.
She owns a diplomatic passport.
That is my bone of contention.
In her passports the entries of names, addresses, parent names are different.
It looks like she was bastard by birth and was adopted as an orphan.
May be her mother was a high class prostitute and her putative husband was white skinned guy from Britain.
All these are immaterial.
One should not have only one passport.
This woman does not deserve a diplomatic passport.
If at all she is smuggling gems, gold and ancient artefacts of Ceylon stolen from our museums.
There is another female MP who was related to previous boss who smuggled our valuable artefacts for sale aboard.
It is not only Baby Elephants, everything valuable is smuggled.
Why these guys and girls are not in prison but only Rajan Ramanayake was sent to prison?
Now come my dream.
This bank officer was rogue while working in the bank and now in saffron cloth.
When he was being investigated he without resigning garbed the saffron cloth and changed his personal criteria.
He came into possession of another diplomatic passport and claimed immunity from bank prosecution.
He did not cancel his layman National ID to become a monk.
Now he has a new Buddhist ID registered under Buddha Sasana.
He was ordained in a reputable temple.
He was then entrusted with keeping the accounts of the temple.
In each transaction he deposits 10% as commission to his layman account.
You remember we had a 10% guy who was a USA resident.
Similar scenario in action.
The dream goes like this but but vague.
All dreams are vague not like a TeleDrama.
Missing points, I have edited.
I ordered a Pizza round.
They guy came in.
I did not have cash.
I tendered the VISA card.
It was rejected.
Not enough to buy even PIZZA round.
Then he came in to use our land phone.
I refused.
Little altercation with the PIZZA delivery guy who had several other orders.
I rang the bank.
No reply from the bank as usual.
Several tries with other numbers and the guy who was now residing in the temple answered.
He asked for my ID.
Then he was asking me details not relevant.
I asked his name.
He obliged.
"You are the guy that the bank is investigating on fraud", I responded.
He put the phone down.
I checked and found he was residing in this famous temple.
The lesson of this dream, of course
in general is, one should never volunteer information over the phone
other than the ID and contact telephone number.
Fraudulent guys collect information and pose as real guys.
In a lighter note PIZZA story was surreal and I had another card with money available and PIZZA guy was paid on delivery.
In old age, one cannot remember each transaction and other overdue charges.
Having a current account is mandatory and one should ask the bank to sent a monthly record.
There are lot of myths about dogs
but here I want to illustrate few human facts that I should communicate
with Maha Brahma who was a yesteryear dog exterminated to make room for
Perahara Pilgrims that visit this holy city of Kandy. Most of Sri-Lankan
end up in hell where the All Maha Brahmas and present assistant of Maha
Brahmas were dogs from this country. By clever design they ended up
there and for my luck I happened to know the Present Maha Brahmas
Assistant as a Paraya dog in Kandy and I am fortunate enough to
communicate with him by virtual email.
First the bad news.
Lot of paraya dogs were cleared up
recently in preparation for Perehara and I want a place reserved for
them in hell (for the municipality exterminators not the exterminated
paraya dogs).
In some countries when they are old they are sent to Old Dogs Haven.
I want the Maha to take them to
heaven moment they are exterminated but make a short list of the
exterminators and send that list to Apaya (Hell) Server.
I have designed a full proof
program to catch dog killers and that is working nicely in Apaya Server
currently but the problem is, these dog killers live longer than the dog
by many a mile due to cardiac surgery performed.
How to Compare Senior Citizens and Senior Dogs
1. The have homes for the elderly.
Haven is practically hell for the dogs.
2. Some senior citizens by that become mayors of the holy city.
There is only extermination decree for aged dogs signed by the mayor or a certain, Colombo University Don.
3. They never give way to juniors.
Junior dogs take charge of the brood.
I have another plea.
If one wants to age with the dog please do the following.
1. Take care of a young dog at the age of 43 (when nobody seems to want you including your wife and kids) years.
2. When you are 50 your dog is 7 years old and equal to 50 years of human age.
3. In another three (3) when your dog is 10 he is equivalent to 60 human years and you will be 53 years.
You are younger by 7 years.
4. In another two years dog (at 12 years) will be 70 and you will be only 55 years.
You are younger by 15 years.
43=0
50=7=50 (only at 50 one can be at
the level of the dog age and enjoy with your contemporary to your heart
content and his company prevents you from getting a heart attack, if you
delay the dog will get a heart attack).
53=10=60
52=12=70 (This is the time you get a bypass operation and the dog get a heart attack).
5. Now that you have become the
mayor at 55 after retiring from service would you be kind to this dog
who is 12 years or sent for the Municipality exterminator.
6. They are just old senior dogs /
citizens they do not have a parliament to go but only the streets but
unlike you they look after our streets even at night when young, is it
reasonable to put them to death?
7. How come, if I say all the
senior citizens who were ex-parliamentarians and drawing a fat pension
and to save money for development they should be exterminated.
Will you pass a bill and vote yes in parliament?
Are we reasonable human beings?
END
