It Is Christmas and Linux Spirit is High

I woke to the the sound of Knoppix CD booting and Happy Christmas and Happy Birthday (10th Anniversary) to Knoppix.

It is beautiful and that was the first Christmas (I am a Buddhist by the way-perhaps not Orthodox) gift I gave away.

Thanks Guys and Girls and all the vast Linux Community.

All of you are doing a wonderful stuff.

It looks as if Jesus as come again.

Their is little Jesus in every one of you who share his vision in you.

It feels wonderful and in spite of the stock market crisis you still can smile and give the Christmas its real meaning.

To my surprise even KORORAA has come alive.

Reincarnation, I believe.

PCLinux is on the heal and there is no Achilles Tendon problem.

I cannot cope up with the downloads with the download speed that has come to a grounding halt, in this country.

Happy New Year 2011 too

10 things your Counselor won't tell you and 50 ways to Leave your Counselor

Come Christmas with everybody in elevated spirits (both in spiritual and blood alcohol content) counselors are wee bit hard pressed to find customers and I was hard pressed to find a topic to keep my web friends in highly elevated Mode / Mood and with a Beautiful Mind.

If for some reason people who read this and exchange this with others, increase by exponential proportions, quite a number of counselors might lose their jobs or find their income drop drastically during Christmas and I have a way out for them to redeem themselves.

Become an instant Buddhist (like instant noodles) and start preaching and practicing meditation (it is a lucrative industry in this part of the world where Dhayana Stage Certificates are offered to Primary School Children to pass their competitive examinations disregarding their childhood fantasies, dreams and spontaneous fun and games).

Coming to the first part of the discussion that psychiatrists do not tell you in advance.

1. They are more depressed than average person who comes for counseling

2. They commit suicide more often than an averagely stressed doctor in practice.

3. Their rate of consumption of alcohol is higher than an average doctor (that the doctor's consumption is higher in proportion to an average simple man's consumption>

It is 10 times or more depending on the income and the status of the doctor.

4. That many of them cannot start a session without a good tot to boost their ego above that of the one who is counseled (patient gives a wrong connotation to the victim- they are not patients but bit stupid in the first place not been able to manage their own simple affairs).

5. Many of them take up this post since they get a free license to indulge in mood elevating drugs themselves apart from making others addicted to them.You must have got the hang of it by now do you want me to continue and bore you or continue with the common sense approach?

6. Many of the theories (they are still theories and waiting to be fixed or implanted to an unsuspecting victim of theirs) are never proven in practice but are found only in old textbooks.

7. Their vocabulary is far in excess of physics, mathematics and philosophy all put together and none of them have a proper definition or ( true or false) truth and validity concept of philosophy.

8. A psychiatrist never discusses his or her own problem (with nobody in fact) with another psychiatrist lest both of them end up diagnosing opposing conditions and they cannot agree who is a counselor and who is being counseled.

They live with this handicap throughout their life unless of course they commit suicide or become clever and change their profession to some other mundane one.

9. They never want any patient to recover fully and also pray that god should not come back to heal them in one go, lock stock and barrel!

10. They never believe in incarnation or reincarnation since they are so confused whether they themselves are in this birth or past birth or next birth or what ever the birth it may or could be.

I can add a few more but if I do so any further and by strange coincidence, if any one of them reads this, he or she might think I am gone bonkers and incarcerate me for life.

Now how to leave a counselor.This is very easy, elementary and you must come out of the very same door you went in but not the door he opens for you.
Otherwise you are in deep trouble.
You are hooked and he is more hooked to you than you may be (that is a professional hazard)

In Buddhism we say "let go" and "focus" but in psychiatry the opposite happens permanent attachment and fixation to a abstract psychological tenet and eventual slow but sure self destruction of mind.Most of them are very simple ploys even a kindergarten kid should be able to play and pratice them with their parents!

1. When you go to him remain deaf and dumb (or pretend you to be blind).
Without you opening your mouth he cannot enter into your mind (not even with Magnetic resonance) or and fix a bizarre concept and or make a diagnosis.

2. Always think of what he feels in the session than what you feel (whether he is broke or whether he is under the influence a drug or alcohol) and outsmart him in every nick and corner.

In other words you become the counselor and he becomes the reciprocate.With these two ammunitions majority can come out unscathed and unharmed.

Please do not break the poor souls composure mentally.

3. Ask him some money to settle an outstanding loan and promise him that you will settle it in good time.

4. Ask him for drink (at least a beer) before you start the counseling.

5. Ask him to open the windows for a healthy draft.

6. If the room is well lit asked him him for a dark room ( most are scarred of darkness).

7. If the room is large ask for a smaller one and if the room is small ask him for larger one.

They cannot do this because they have a fixed way of doing things.

8. If he asks you to write something say you prefer electronic mail to save the trees and the planet.

9. If he asks you to fill an electronic form say either you do not trust computers or make a vehement protest by stating that it violates Microsoft's Piracy Act and you are not willing to pay a fine.

10. If he still insist on counseling, you have to have an exit strategy preplanned.

This is very a simple ploy an average Sri-Lankan employs.

When you are in a busy meeting and you are getting cornered or fixed, then you get somebody to give you a call stating that your only great great great grandma died of a car accident (she was driving the car- even a healthy male cannot drive in this country).

So take your cell phone with you and just send a S.M.S to the guy or girl who gives the call, just in time for the exit door.Please do not use the story I mentioned above since all the psychiatrists I knew hated their grandmas (unlike us) and they do not still know how to slip out their hands even as an adult leave alone as a brat.

Moment you say grandma they soil their pants.

All these tricks have worked for me and I do not need to hinder your creativity, imagination and reciprocation (give as much as you take principle).

If any one of you need more than 12 strategies, you perhaps may need to go to a psychiatrist but before that you better contact me for help (not consultation).

If you are a Linux Addict or visit this blog at least once a year, it is free.

Otherwise the chargers I have increased by 100 folds since I cannot survive with 5% salary increase and I cannot go home without few Bombay Onions in my hand.

My wife will cut me into Onion Rings and fry me live, if I go home without onions!

God Help Me, if you have time!

Merry Christmas and Happy New year 2011.