From Me to Mr. Bill

This is an old blog post (2011) of mine in asokaplus www.wordpress.com, which I would like to post again.

This is my adaptation from an Email, I received.

I am currently studying birds and bill is appropriate for pecking.

Dear Mr.Bill
This letter is from so and so to so and so.
I bought a computer recently and unfortunately I found the following problems.
1. When I connect to the Internet and opened the e-mail and whenever I type my name I get a CAGE called password and a number of asterisks ****** .
I leave the asterisks and type my password in the rest of the fields.
As soon as I type letters appear as true to form and nothing else happens afterward.
I do not know how to solve this problem.
I checked with the hardware vendor (Kandy) and he checked the keyboard and said it has no problems.
I got a brain wave and opened the email with the word password and asterisks ***** but that did not work.
2. When I click the "Shut down" button I am unable to do anything else afterwards with the computer.
I thought the computers work 24 hours without a break and without any complaints.
Please let me know how to solve this problem.
3. However, there is a button called "Start" but there is no button called "Stop" when I want to go to the loo.
I request you to solve this problem.
4. I find there is a 'Run' button in the menu ( I don't want to have runs after a meal-diarrhoea- especially the type of meal called "On the go" I have in my office).
One of my friends told me I should do a run in the evening after sitting long hours in front of the TV screen learning new computer techniques and concepts.
5. Click and Run is dangerous even in Kandy with so many "Bills on the Beat" with a AK45s in their hands.
I don't like to run.
Please change it to "Sit and Wait".
In fact, I do this when I have a problem with my computer.
I believe even the ordinary citizens do the same thing ("Sit and Wait Patiently") nowadays especially when they come to Colombo for some work.
6. I would prefer a "Bicycle" with a click of a button instead of a "Pizza" available in the system.
With petrol going up that is good for my health and my purse.
As I find only "Re-cycle" and that is a gross oversight by the computer wizards of America.
7. By the way for people who have money and a scooter another option called "Re-scooter" is desirable.
Unfortunately I do not own a scooter.
8. The 'Find' button is not working properly.
My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to find the the key with this "Find" button but it was not possible.
Is it due to a bug?
9. Every night my sleep is disturbed since the Cat come looking for the "Mouse" at odd hours in the night.
I propose you should make a game called Cat, Mouse and the Dog and ask the Disneyland to train all the domestic cats , dogs and mice to play this game without killing each other like the humans do.
We humans can learn from this game a few earthly visions.
10. My child likes to learn the Microsoft Word now. T
It is better one should develop the Grammar and the Sentence Structure since our children are very poor in English as a language.