How to make an Elephant Laugh?

How to make an Elephant Laugh?

Elephant Talks-Ali Katha

Making an elephant laugh is no easy task but this is an attempt with the help of a tiny animal.
This sketch is long overdue and is to record the first death anniversary of an unfortunate (first in the history of Esala Perehara) Majestic Pachyderm at the hands of the all too important Diyawadena Nilme.
In the same spirit and enthusiasm I have to rectify two of my current lapses.
 

The first of it is that the local Microsoft cronies snooping on our emails surreptitiously.  I have many emails but intrusion to my privacy is the violation of Fundamental Rights of any living or dead soul. I have already rectified this by switching to Linux completely. Besides, I have dedicated this year for promoting Linux globally.
The second lapse is more than three years old. The delay is partly due to vandalism of my computer by local Microsoft cronies and goonies.

One of my junior academic partner’s son has asked him the English translation for the Sinhala word Kadde. He asked my the same question and I said I do not know but better transliterate the word.
 

Long time ago, I was recruited to the University of Ceylon, Peradeniya to translate medical texts and terminology to Sinhala. It was a difficult task and we spent sometimes about three months to translate a single word. These hours were spread on our free time and I detested wasting my time on flimsy things.          

I said it is far better to use the same word in Sinhala and the term transliterate was born, on the spot.
 

The plan was for the students to attend the lecture in English first and then come to me to listen to the translated version. My lecture was more of the question and answer session and      I deliberately used the technique of transliteration. These guys even did not know how to define the word define. So, in matter of three months, students were made to understand the meaning of technical English and nobody came to me on the second and third terms for translations. Translation was a waste of time but understanding of the subject matter was more important. This tenure of my work came handy when I decided to join the university much older.
 

The English translation that came to my understanding, three years later was “Pingo Man (Kadde)”. The credit goes to a Burger gentleman of Irish descent. He inherited it from his mother. The Pingo part may have come from either Vietnam or China. In any case it sounds Chinese to me, and with the ascent of the Chinese Tiger from the East, due credit should go to China, if for any reason, it has any connection to the birth this word like Ying and Yang.
 

Coming back to the pachyderm, the treatment it gets from the mahout and the tourist local and foreign is less than desirable, to say the least. I can very well remember, once I had a not so healthy argument with a lady doctor from UK who was voicing the same concern I raise now, nearly 20 years ago. She said that, it is violation of Animal Rights and using them for long hours without due concern is inhuman which I fully endorse without reservation, now. These animals are ill treated to during Perehara time to please tourists.
 

I still have a picture of this lady on an Elephant at Elephant Bath (now non existent) and I have never climbed an elephant in my life. I have another dispute with this lady. I said,       I admire this majestic animal so much that         I cannot think of climbing on one of them (not at all fear) and pretend that I, the man is big or bigger than this majestic animal. She of course did not have an answer to my unexpected impromptu but nevertheless she of course enjoyed the ride, thoroughly.
Coming back to making an elephant laugh, none in the list below can do that.
1. Diyawadena Nilame is out on the first count. He goes into historical record for the the first death of an elephant who participated in this annual event.
2. Mahinda Rajapaksa cannot achieve this since the two legged elephants under his fold are crying for cabinet posts.
3. Ranil Wickramasinghe cannot achieve this task because he is making all elephants past and present cry in vain.
4. I cannot do that since when I go near an elephant garbed in surgical gear, even a tame elephant gets angry.
5. Gecko cannot.
6. A chameleon cannot.
7. Spider cannot.
So who can do that?
I have found one by accident.
This was an special ant.
He happened to be in my cup of tea.
I asked the fellow what on earth you are doing on my cup of tea?
he looked at me and said, look guy I may be small but I have made an elephant laugh. That made me to open my eyes wide.
I told him, I give you a grain of Palawatta sugar for the vital information and the top secret.
He took a meditative breath and with a little smile, he told me it is easy as a grain of salt.
I did make an elephant laugh an year ago. Of course, the elephant did die with this laugh.
Mt gray matter started working with a gush of pure blood not polluted by Americans.
How come?
He said when the Kandy Veterinary Surgeon was attending to the dying elephant he hide inside the ear. The elephant was crying due to poking of all holes of the elephant, including the nose. When the veterinary surgeon was gone he came out of the hiding place to inquire why he was crying.
The elephant said to the ant in slumber, these guys even not let me sleep my last nap with poking and probing.
Suddenly the ant realized, he is having the last conversation with this majestic friend. The ant whispered to the elephant “Buck up guy, if they take you to the Intensive Care Unit, I’ll give all my blood to save you”.
To this elephant could not stop laughing.
He took the last breath laughing and ended up in heaven.
The moral of this story is when one is dying only the little ones are near you to console. Little things can make one happy but certainly not doctors without humour.
Small is beautiful.
 

For the green two egged variety, the little grass root variety is the one that matters come elections, not the ones who are residing at Diyawannawa or the Diyawadana Nilame of the “Temple of the Tooth’.  


PS
The reason of the said elephant death was due to negligence including dehydration and poor care.