Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Maha Brahma and his Dog
I am well versed from the time of Maha Brahma's Assistant who was a Kandy dog frequenting rubbish bins in Kandy including Malwatta temple and by some clever means twisted the arm of the Maha Brahma and managed to get the present post.
I knew the dog well and once in a way he sends me an errand of some sort by email. I cannot send any email to him because it is not permitted by law of the heaven for human to send email direct but there is no restriction of outgoing email from heaven, though, very randomly. I am told they use a type of Linux distribution where in the tradition incognito the log, memory and search routes and rules are erased without a trace. I am trying to crack this and get some stories for earthling and I cannot wait till the next Buddha's time and appearance which is eons away.
As a form of grace they release some random stories and and I have the privilege of knowing the dog first and the current Brahma's Assistant and by that virtue a few of the stories circulating in heaven.
The story predates his time (present Assistant) and this time it was Pedigree dog.
This pedigree dog was resident of a demented man who was politician of yesteryear.
He was demented because of his bounty of alcohol when in and out of power. But sadly he lived up to ripe old age of nineties, physically well but mentally demented. The dog died soon after the master's demise but because of his virtues and because he happened to reach heaven at the time of our New Year holiday, he was put on the waiting list.
There were quite a number of dogs who reached there at the very same instant. Maha Brahma without an assistant then had great difficulty in selecting the correct protocol and the correct next round of births that they deserve.
Because this dog came from high office on earth he was very well noted by the Maha Brahma for extra credit.
Maha has a set of standard questions and it is very difficult to outsmart him.
He did not leave the demented politician now completely neglected by his party members, family members and the like but this faithful dog was with his master till his last few seconds on earth. My friend told me not to disclose where about of this politician now but suffice is to say much less honourable quarters than his favorite dog.
In his conversation with Maha this dog had lot of questions from the Master Being.
The pedigree dog could not understand why the behaviour of his master changed in latter stages of his life with dementia who could not remember the dog's name and used to call various odd names and forgot to feed him or fleece him.
He was telling Maha it was very unfair for a dog to be with a human in that stage of life and state and why only humans get demented and not dogs barring of course hydrophobia.
Maha did not have a suitable answer and he was impressed by this dogs devotion to his master when all earthlings deserted him high and dry including doctors.
There were lot of other dogs of lowly human settings including beggars, humbugs and the lot, Maha was pushed up to his neck and told the pedigree dog to wait for another day for a change and he could become his dog for a day and stay with him overnight.
This he could not decline.
He was so pleased with the offer did not bother the Master Being for even an overnight meal and went to sleep like a log.
Maha had other ideas and wanted to observe and test him before offering the next round of birth, the next day. But he lost this opportunity and in any case for his calm demeanour Maha was highly impressed.
The next day also Maha went on with his mundane routine affairs and was not ready with a place for our pedigree dog. That day was the same result, the pedigree dog that day went into dream mode thinking what a nice place he is going to get the next day.
This went on for a week and for some unknown reason Brahma had hit high on this week and was finding easy with his decision making.
In fact Brahma was enjoying his company which was docile but very pleasant.
It was the same with the dog who had a very painful last few months on earth with the demented politician.
So he became less chatty and never asked any favours from the new master the Master Being himself.
Master also never offered a new lease or round of births by default.
Well Maha also knew one day when his term of office ends like the politician and when he has to go he has to go and he did not want to go alone.
Master needed a companion.
So the Maha and his dog came into being and they got eons to go.
So do not ever think of becoming the master's dog or the master's assistant.
They are on eternal holiday without fire crackers and assistant is doing the mundane rounds without a break (he loves it though being a descendant of paraya or the stray dog clan).
In my case I am looking for post of the server manager in heaven with my experience in hell this may lead to better and faster Linux Protocol and Administration there in heaven.
He was an ex-income tax officer who was seen as good choice for help for Mahana Brahma's Assistant not only as a Flying Officer but also as a delivery man.
Pelicans are known to deliver babies to mums at least when the second one arrives unexpectedly and the first one born asks the silly question from where the hell the second one came.
The pelican come into operational requirement of mothers often in the West but not so much here in Sri-Lanka.
In this context as a delivery man he does not have to deliver babies but all what he has to do is to drop baskets full of documents to sea often containing false declarations made by expectant candidates for their next round of birth and to get favours from Maha Brahma's Assistant.
When he thinks something is cooked up especially coming from Sri-Lanka, the assistant delvers them to the pelican to be dropped to sea so that the ink and all the forgeries are wiped out by the ocean currents ( the ocean can take any rubbish come what it may).
On his return pelican has to pick few of them back to heaven and the assistant checks to see if any merits are left tangled with the soggy paper and if not delivers them straight to Appaya (AI) International with a tag number for prompt action.
At AI the soggy paper is irradiated with UV light and then a special black ink is sprayed and that is when all the Papa Karmas are exposed for my equation to take cognizant and automatic reprisal by Apaya authorities.
Unlike in the heaven my equation has to be modified when new crimes like that are committed by American investors and speculators are discovered.
Very severe scrutiny is done unlike the Federal Regulators of USA.
The pelican is the go between the Apaya and the Heaven.
In some cases when the documents are landed on high ground or floating ice there is a chance some might escape the sea currents and get a respite but if they are discovered on a subsequent birth it is not the pelican who is punished but the holder of the certificate.
Pelican has no jurisdiction in matters of merits and demerits but only a go between and a mechanism of delaying merits or demerits so that backlog is prevented at the any entry point be that it may be Apaya or Heaven.
Pelican navigation skill are considered to be complimentary to the operational mechanics.
How he became a trainer Flying Officers was purely an accident by meeting our crab and the tortoise at the lake side.
He was offered foreign currency initially by the Air Marshal but when he decided to pay that in Sri-Lankann equivalent of Rupees he really got annoyed since neither Apaya nor Heaven recognize Sri-Lankan Rupees.
That is why he deserted the Flying Operations in mid air.
I have suggested to remedy this situation soon with a plastic card that automatically converts itself of the credit balance to the currency type moment the airspace of the country is entered but there are few navigational glitches / hitches when the pelican decides to stay in border zones like Palk Straight and the likes.
It is currently worn around the pelican neck and it has dual responsibility of location guide and a currency conversion. Once it is tested to Apaya satisfaction it will be used by our pelican and he may decide to return to his substantive post on Earth but that is all at his discretion.
The pelican was his annual pilgrimage to Ceylon to avoid harsh winter and got trapped in the Batticoloa floods and was waiting to devour some unfortunate sea fish that have come ashore. When he was about to partake the first mouthful of fish in came the Tortoised Chief Minister (TCM) from nowhere and warned him not to do so.
He was puzzled.
I have been eating fish all my life how dare you intervene in my cuisine.
Brother do not be annoyed.
Be calm.
I will tell you the reason.
They are poisoned by accident and not by purpose or design.
We got a consignment of food for flood victims from UNO and in the transport of it on a vehicle with fertilizer by some strange coincidence the bags' label changed from UNO to USA and a certain politician in Colombo decided that they were no good for human consumption and not even for animals.
Then the local politician requested that they were to be dumped into sea.
The transport man designed a coup.
The food items were quickly changed hands with a label UREA and UREA was changed to USA by substituting S for EA. Then only a few UREA bags that contained deadly cadmium were dumped with political acumen to the sea in front of starving residents and they were asked to go fishing in troubled waters!
So you may now go fishing in troubled waters!
The pelican was visibly annoyed.
I traveled over 8000 miles to land hear on my holidays and you guys spoil it for me.
Don't you people advertise come here and tither?
Sorry for the misadventure it would have been a different story if the weather gods did not intervene.
The TCM said in a quiet voice.
You may go down further and find another island he suggested.
There are no islands till Antarctica and I haven't got the strength to fly that far.
Then he asked are you good in navigation.
Yes of course and if I may ask you why you raised that question?
Even though I am here I still have some connection with the Air Force Top Brass and I can fix you a job with them till spring with full on board service.
He was not happy but picked the crab instead and took to flight and landed on a tree top.
He tried hard to pierce the shell bone but could not and in with anger dumped the fellow down but it landed with a thud and turned upside up downside down and side tracked safely to water.
This he has never seen before and went back to the now friendly TCM and asked how come the shell of a Sir-Lankan crab is so hard?
Elementary my dear!
He was in charge of my armed car when in service.
He was also in charge of making service to my vehicle with three quotation which is the usual practice.
He was given the bullet proof metal sample for verification.
He without my knowledge changed the specification to inferior quality metal and hid the real metal sample under his helmet and pocketed out the contract extras.
Then in the final blast of which we all died in an unfortunate accident the metal got stuck to his skin.
He is a hard nut in any case and difficult even for me to pierce his intentions!
In that case I say yes to your offer with some reservation.
That was how the pelican was made a the flying trainer for healthy remuneration.
You have to wait why he quit and deserted the post for my next edition on web.
Keep counting the SiRs please.
Good bye!
Please note even though these stories are quite akin to Buddhist stories and anthology, they are not designed for Dhamma sermons and any recitals without my implied consent will be strictly prohibited.
PS.
The chief minister who took over from the TCM was mildly hurt when in a routine test a bullet pierced the serviced part of the vehicle and went inside. It was an indirect hit; that is why the injuries were minimal.
He quickly dumped the vehicle to junk and bought a new one from the fresh quota allocated to him. He did not forget to send a telegram to the ex-officer thanking him for his service acumen.
I had to deliver it through my special courier service in conjunction with Apaya International.
Flying Officer Grounded
You may think that the war efforts are accomplished that most of the flying officers are grounded and not flying any more.
Nothing of that kind but a flight record of a blackbox conversation of the final 5 to 7 minutes of ill fated flight of SL (UL-Usually Late) named P.P.P.
Thank god it is not a civil flight but a training flight with only two involved one surviving and the other succumbing to injuries ending at Mahabrahma for another round of life cycle.
I have to put the middle of the story first (but the beginning will related briefly in the flight record.) to make brief and interesting and I may have to go for another record for how Mahabrama (his assistant-that part would be interesting) dealt with the emerging crisis.
Flying is a pastime for some (politicians on our money and government coffers) and fantasy for many Sir-Lankans. Many Sir-Lankan young blood want to become a flying officer but never get a chance to get there. I remember I wanted to become a volunteer officer many moons ago but even though I had all the qualifications and the paper work my application never got to the scrutiny table when Public Service in operation.
It is a different story now that the Chief Minister decides the fate of everybody.
In this story chief Minister also has a fair share of involvement.
Sit tight and listen to the flight recorded data.
The conversation is between a pelican and the flying officer in training.
You may wonder what the hell the pelican doing in the cockpit. He was not trapped in air but he was the trainer in white suit with beautiful avian stripes to adorn.
Yes he was the trainer.
Then who was the trainee?
The trainee was a typical Sir-Lankan man who went up the ladder by being a yes man all his life without any decoration or qualification to boast about
He was somewhat similar to Bun Ki Moon who is a yes man for the big nations and red bully for small nations.
I hope you got the picture.
If he say yes to big shots he will be sure of another term in UNO.
Our man of course did not have applied mathematics but a forged certificate to say he passed the “O” Level in mathematics.
The conversation went like this.
Hello Sir!
You are my trainer?
Yes is there any problem?
No Sir have I got to Sir you.
It depends!
If you end up passing with flying colours yes but not otherwise.
He was bit confused but continued to say SiR to which the pelican with good senses did not object.
He was wanting to count how many times he Sirs him during the first flight.
Sir, you have a big beak but no hands.
So Sir, how are you going to help me with the joystick?
I have good eyes and a small brain and that were enough to navigate from Europe to Sir-Lanka to escape from harsh winter believe me I can navigate you if you listen to me carefully instead of saying Sir.
He firmly ascertained his navigation skills.
Now nose up, flaps up and raise off the ground.
Yes Sir.
Now they were in flight in the first few seconds and the flying officer was inquisitive and want to find the loop holes in his flight instructors credibility to get some bonus in the first flight itself.
Sir how you come to become a trainer in Ceylon.
It is easy any foreign joker or a bird can get a job in Sri-Lanka even in supermarkets without knowing food habits of locals. You just put a label for export and that works.
I had a export label tagged from my childhood he said.
Sir who appointed you and turned his head around and the plane two seater veered to the left?
Look what are doing get the nose straight.
OK Sir!
It is your chief minister who appointed me and it is a long story.
But Sir, I would like to hear more, thinking one day he might become a trainer himself by getting in good books with the Chief Minister and twisting his arms.
But your ex-chief Minister is a tortoise now.
How come Sir, I thought he went to heaven by the celebration we had after his death.
He never got a chance. The way he abused official vehicles and the way he drove with the entourage annoyed the Maha and he decided to pace him down to earth and made him a tortoise.
Sir my goodness will the Maha makes me also a tortoise in my next birth Sir!
In the first place you have to die!
Are you ready for that.
Yes Sir!
This answer pleased the pelican very much since he knew he did not have to train this guy for long.
Where did you meet this Tortoised Chief Minister, SiR?
Near a lake flooded in Batticoloa with a water crab with him.
The water crab was his escort Police Officer. on entourage who could always bend the law of the country for his master's favour in real life in Sir-Lanka.
But he could not prevent the premature death of the entourage who met with a fatal accident.
SiR why he was made a crab
Two reasons.
It is a delicacy in Sir-Lanka.
This officer could never walk straight with the law he always side stepped and went horizontally instead of straight.
By birth right he had to be a crab in next life.
SiR will I become a crab in next life.
This was too distracting for the pelican that the plane was in full speed now.
He said autopilot now!
My friend in excitement put the nose down.
He was only educated in Sinhala and could not read the English word autopilot and he pressed the button right under his nose without reading it in the first place.
Pelican was very happy now that his flying lesson would end abruptly.
Pelican opened the cockpit door and before making a nose dive himself said, your first and the last flying lesson are over.
Good bye and slammed the door closed.
To which our yes man said.
Yes Sir!
The rest is history and the blackbox is the only evidence we have now.
Incidentally this plane was taxied from Hambantota and landed nose down in the newly build port at Hambantota.
The blackbox was traced within minutes since the water level of the harbour is deep enough to see even a blackbox from above and our pelican friend hovered around it as if he was looking for a dead body of fish that helped the Navy very much.
Unfortunately the body of the victim was never found and the air force is still looking for the deserted officer in flight training and the flight trainer.
Our flying officer trainer, the pelican disappeared from his post.
I will tell you the rest of the story if you could count correctly the number of times this unfortunately grounded officer said Sirs in his first flight lesson instead of concentrating on flying and why the pelican deserted his post!
Flight P.P.P stands for Paksheta Pashsha Pora and I hear even the Pakshaya is having a nose dive now!
Please note even though these stories are quite akin to Buddhist stories and anthology, they are not designed for Dhamma sermons and any recitals without my implied consent will be strictly prohibited.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Life of Automation in Apaya
I am told everything in Apaya is automated and Apaya Web Master is well paid.
He has embraced Open Source and when he leaves Apaya President doe not have to pay enormous bills in arrears.
This is where I get involved with the Web Master General who is overseeing all applications that come from all over the world.
The computer should screen all the applications and then re-channel them to further levels of filtering. The filtering services have different protocols for different countries and different offenses and whether they have been punished while on earth etc.
The idea is to delay the processing by nanosecond of a nanosecond.
The whole idea is to add nanoseconds and nanoseconds of time to the whole process of screening.
If an application is screened quickly those are the applications that come under my purview.
What methods can be adopted enhance the process so that no crime is missed or not get punished.
That is where the equation of mine come into operation.
That is the most difficult part for me foresee and avoid problems.
The lawyers on earth might plead not guilty on counts that is not applicable in Apaya.
All pervasive law of nature has to be applied
This is part I am not supposed to declare open to the customer.
The most difficult part for me is when doctors' cases and case findings are screened.
I have to be aware of all the loopholes in the system since there are very few litigation when practicing on earth.
But almost every doctor gets caught here mostly over diagnosing and very many are missed diagnoses and wrong treatment to correct diagnosis and right treatment to the wrong diagnosis etc.
There are severe deterrents here and I feel very comforted that I am not actively practicing now.
But being a pathologist it is a pleasure to know how much big BOSS knows about medicine.
Sometimes I wonder whether he had been a professor of medicine in one of his past lives but scarred to ask that question lest when I get there to hell he might remember me.
Like the Thovil Dancer working with the Yakkhayas it can be fun when it comes to screening doctors and lawyers.
When it come to bankers and speculators it is easy.
When the bank balance is high we know he is a crook but when the bank balance is high on a doctor that equation has to be modified by the number of cases correctly diagnosed or cases seen or referred by the doctor etc.
The equation is very very complicated since there are many crooks among doctors who know how to bluff.
Just like bluffing the income tax when on surface of the earth.
I hope you get some comprehension of the scheme of activity and automation in Apaya.
If I add nanoseconds to the scrutiny and more the nanoseconds of delay there is Apaya Web Administrator is happy.
He does not tell me what the real Yakka does this with the data, I guess like a British Visa officer, it probably depends on the mood of the Mighty Yakka.
I also do not ponder since once my job is done it is no longer in my jurisdiction.
What is more important is if I get this equation right in the first instance my work with the Sackra becomes easy and manageable.
I get the ones that are rejected by the Apaya Web Administrator (AWA) and forward them after a little scrutiny by my computer to Maha Deva's Assistant.
He of course sends a few of them back for another round through the Apaya since he believes my first equation is better and I get some extra bonus for re-scrutiny.
Another information I have to share with you is that since I took over this task I am yet to find a Sri-Lankan who escapes through the system of Apaya.
Not that I am severe on Sri-Lankans but for the last 30 odd years of conflict everybody who is somebody who has gone through the mill knows Web Administrator has a funny way of adding extra bonus nanoseconds added even before scrutiny and I have no privy to how much this bonus is.
Suffice is to say that is enough to keep you in hell long after the peace process.
So do not ever think of leaving this planet until we got the reconciliation gear well advanced and working before you think of kicking the bucket.
Good luck on Earth is the saying and wish in Apaya.
One never gets scot free chances like on earth elsewhere for so many offenses.
Enjoy while the sun shines!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Dream-01 and its interpretation form Heaven-Updated
Dreams have been a fascination of man and currently mine too.
Even Lord Buddha has been answering the calls of King Kosol long before Martin Luther King was born.
His interpretation were elaborate and have a vision for the Non-Buddha Era (Abhuddhassa Kala) which we have truly entered into now.
This era starts at the end of 2500 years of Buddha's Parinirvana / Parinibbana, I believe.
There is little confusion here, whether the era starts from Buddha's birthday or after the Parinibbana.
Buddha never celebrated his birthday but his enlightenment was celebrated in heaven and earth and in all celestial bodies with all sentinel beings (not necessarily human or humanoids) participating.
His enlightenment, birth and parinibbana all happened on the same Day or Month on May.
So we have to celebrate birth, attainment (achievements) and death and which element of the three takes precedence is a point of conjecture.
(Just a coincidence my mother died on the eve of my birthday and the 3 months Dhana ceremony fell on the Sinhala and Tamil New Year (I was delighted, this was the first time in my life I had a very good excuse to avoid both birthday celebrations and new year celebrations in one go).
I thank my mother for her excellent timing after 92 years of healthy (may be ninety) life.
If we assume he lived 80 years and had we taken his birth as the reference point we are at least 20 years well on to the Abbhudhassa Kala and Buddha's predictions are taking place right now under our very nose.
If we take the enlightenment as the reference point we are into 65 years of Abbudhdhassa Kala.
If we take the birth we are well into the second century of Abbudhassa Kala.
Which ever way look at it we are well into Abhudhassa Kala and his dream interpretations of Kosol are valid, into this century.
Point of interest here is not Kosol's dreams and their interpretation, since they are adequately dealt with by present Buddhist monks and clergy but how and why my dreams are valid in present context.
That is where with my special connection with Maha's Assisatant, I have forged a web of (email) connection purely by accident.
I think they are valid otherwise Maha Brahma with his kind gesture and keen interest in dreams would not have made some connection with this present world of rapid development, especially Sri-Lanka.
Sit back and enjoy.
One of my dreams (not in any chronological order) that I lost all my hair on my top (what is left after the patchy balding).
This was not a major concern for me because it is age and heavy androgen related biochemistry but since I dreamt many a bizarre dreams, recently this I took it as one in the random sample to be sent to heaven by email for interpretation.
As time goes by in an appropriate time, I will give my own interpretation (what else can one expect in ripe old age other than a good salary increment and a healthy retirement benefits) and since the government is expected to deliver miracle after miracle I have to delay my comments for a future ( retirement) date.
Maha Brahm's interpretation
1. Do not worry man this does not apply to you.
2. Your androgen will remain active till you die.
3. You won't become a monk and the ceiling of 2600 new Buddhist monks have been already made and decided.
No more entries and you are excluded by default.
4. In future male babies will be born with balding with very active androgen at birth and they will be sexually active and procreate faster.
5. There won't be any puberty.
6. Adults males will be very small like what depicted in Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters.
7. Size of the phallus will be small but brain will be inappropriately large to deal with the new found sex freedom in the cradle.
8. However females will be much bigger (they are emancipated) and males will be like drones (Afghanistan) or male bees in a bee colony.
On Maha Brahma's Assistant's advice I have dropped publishing the latter comments from 9 to 20 and you have to use your imagination to think about or dream about them.
There is one small reference to me though ,which stated that the hair cut (the special onion ring type on top of my head) will be very popular and they will charge a hefty amount for this style, especially during the I.P.L cricket.
It is better for me to start a barber saloon in my retirement to supplement my meager retirement benefit and think of outsourcing it to India during I.P.L.
Update 17th, The Wesak Poya Day
Casual look at the interpretation is bizarre but if one applies modern scientific tenor, something radical is emerging with genome project well in advance now.
1. Man and many advanced animals have 50 cell cycles in their life time.
2. About 42 to 45 are consumed by about 15 years of age.
3. There is a condition called progeria where babies are born in advanced stage of cell cycle and rapidly age and die young.
4. If we take a somatocyte from (with mutated genome) a case of this condition one can modulate few more cell cycles to be advanced by culturing under correct conditions with sexual maturation and bald head.
5. Presto!
Conditioned mentioned by Maha Brahma is satisfied.
6. I believe aliens who visit us have already perfected this method for their scientific studies in space and using them as guinea pigs for their experimentation.
They do not have to hijack humans now and only a few cells are all that is necessary.
They have more advanced culturing methods in space.
7. There is very interesting genetic analysis that are emerging in America now.
They are studying Gorilla and us the humans and found what is missing in us in evolution.
Gorilla has 48 chromosomes and we have 46.
We have lost a certain receptor for androgen 3 t0 5 million year ago.
When that happened the phallus (penis) became smaller (of the human) and the brain became bigger.
The acquisition of language capability came some millions years later.
We have a living record of a child in the current century (in this country) saying Mahinda Mama in an election rally even before saying da da or ma ma.
The correct conditions are their in some gifted children to learn all three languages even before preschool.
There will be professors earning million of rupees employed by IMF with sexual precocity, economic vision and foreign language capability including Sinhala even before five years old.
We do not want a 62 year prostatic old man to run the IMF then.
Only good thing is the penis of this genius is very small and the brain is very large and unlawful sex act even violent causes minimal damage even to a virgin.
We have to redefine the criminal law then with the exception to geniuses employed by IMF to enjoy their short life (may be 7 years or little more).
American legislators won't be able to send them to gallows for 25 years.
One day in prison cell is OK without opposite sex in a near by cell.
Cell Cycles, Cell Divisions and Prison Cells have to be different then.
I hope I would be gone by then since in my geriatric age there is no place for me except in high heaven, advising the Maha's Assistant to reverse the trend and bring some sanity to earthlings, especially to America, Sri-Lanka and U.N.O.
We can send a kid in place of Bunki Moon until then!
Virtual Email Facility from Maha Brahma
Virtual Email Facility from Maha Brahma!
I am glad to break the news that Maha Brahma has made an extreme kind gesture to me the earthling and allowed a Virtual Email Facility for the entire period of 2600 year Wesak Celebrations.
He was moved by my blog discovery of the lonely Cuckoo without a mate (probably for one year).
He was disturbed by the fact that he always tries all his best to make sure there is some sort of sex balance in nature.
He assured me that he will make some amends next year round and the cuckoo if she is still alive would get the dream date by default.
I must remind you that the Maha Brahma is on a long vacation timed in eons and his assistant is looking after his affairs.
Just to remind you of the past events;
Maha Brahma's dog was a pedigree dog who was with his demented politician till his death in early (90) nineties and had a little argument with Maha for sending him to stay with a demented man who could not remember his (dog's) name in latter stages of his life.
An overnight stay with Maha Brahma made him to realize that he (dog) is going to be a good companion and that friendship is still continuing.
This pedigree dog I have not met in real life.
But the Maha's Assistant was a paraya dog from Kandy whom I knew for some time till his untimely death and got the present appointment by clever manipulation and not by default.
But the problem was moment he assumed duties Maha went on vacation and he is still enjoying the well earned rest.
He keeps communicating with assistant mainly by emails and the assistant in turn used to send me emails once in a way.
But until now there was prohibition for me to send direct emails to heaven.
He was frequenting rubbish dumps in Kandy, near a GP practice and Malwatta Temple and he got sick by eating rubbish dumped by the doctor.
His story is here and elsewhere if you care to browse my blogs in depth.
He was kind enough to ask me the scientific reason for not having enough birds to mate.
I said global warming Sir.
What?
The eggs crack due to heat?
This is different unlike the broiler chicken and eggs.
Chicken eggs are not fertilized for Buddhist laymen to eat but in cuckoo situation is entirely different.
They are fully fertilized but their is not enough nests and brood to lay them.
The crow population has gone down drastically.
Why is that?
In Ceylon there is rapid development after war and they chop trees like sandal wood.
Vast stretches of land is now converted to bare land and some of them even lakes are converted into play grounds, especially cricket.
How come this global warming?
It is this "Carbon Dioxide" build up which scientist say causes global warming.
Trees take in CO2 and mop up the excess and when you fell wast stretches of trees there is build up of CO2.
Is it that simple but I thought it is more complicated science than that.
It is all because scientist in the west especially USA make (mockery) a completely absurd distortion to a simple equation and confuse all and sundry.
Is that so, I thought all the scientist are there in America now.
Yes they are "politrics" scientist not political scientist.
So if you grow more trees to nest and there will be more crows nesting and cuckoo will find a brood and I do not have to get involved in this simple matter.
No, No, you have to get involved.
They are cutting more trees to erect pandols for celebrations and this time it is on big scale.
And every tree fell in the name of celebrations (pandols) there are 10 to 20 more trees are down and god only knows who is collecting them and where they are taken to.
I get your point and I will see what I can do for this cuckoo anyway.
By the way you got a big surprise and Maha has read your blog about why you cannot make wine in Kandy and asked me what is this global warming and why yeast cannot survive above 38 C.
He said in heaven there are different yeasts for different climates and he can send some for experiment on earth.
Please don't Sir, our Buddhist monks are meditating to make global warming a reality and when it pass the threshold 38 they will stop meditating.
They bank an this venture to stop alcohol menace in this country and alcohol free world.
If my guess is correct if the temperature goes up by that margin it will effect whole lot of ecosystems isn't it?
Yes yes but they cannot understand that logic when in meditative mode Sir.
In meditation we concentrate only on one pointedness Sir.
All other points are disregarded to keep focus and concentration.
Well in that case I keep my fingers crossed.
What is the surprise Sir.
Maha has decided to give you a Virtual Email and asked me to forward them to him from the Virtual Site if any of them are related to Wine making.
Why?
He is fed up of the types here and somebody has told him that the best wines come from South Africa, after they lost both Cricket and Football World Cups.
It is true Sir, some parts of South Africa are ideal for wine making.
Can I asked you a favour Sir.
Is it possible for me to get some interpretations of my dreams Sir.
Are you mad?
No Sir.
It is Maha Brahma's hobby now.
Till the next Buddha is born he will oblige you but all the connections have to be on Virtual Email.
Will he publish my dreams on heaven.
I do not think so.
Why?
Does he keeps copyrights?
No No.
He keeps you dreaming all the time for his fun and will definitely delays you coming to heaven and having wine with him.
This American theme, "I have a dream" is not a good idea then for earthlings.
That's right my boy!
Definitely not.
You must not dream Like this King of Kosol or Martin Luther King.
You must select few of your bests ones and send me and I will forward them with a note he is very bad at dreaming so that you won't be inundated with request for more.
That way both of us can discuss some other mundane issues.
Mind you all the interpretations are free of charge and do not tell any other earthlings how to get to me or the virtual Email.
I am waiting for a vacation or retirement but my paraya dog instinct tells me it will not be for eons.
In any case his interpretation are pretty good and they keep me amused too.
OK then I will be posting few of my dreams soon and try all my best to curtail dreaming, perhaps with some wine.
Many thanks for your kind gesture on Wesak.
See you soon with interpretations.
Dream well but less for your own well being!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Finding a Partner for a Lonely (Common) Cuckoo
Finding a Partner for a Lonely (Common) Cuckoo
Not only I observe bizarre flowering pattern of some plants including onions I beginning to wonder whether the unusually warm and bizarre temperature pattern is affecting the birds.
April is the time of the year when common cuckoo sounds the arrival of new year.
One hears them singing in the early hours and late in the evening for the pairs to meet and retire to their resting places.
These birds are very secretive and even though one hears them it is very difficult to spot them.
They are either in tall tree or hidden behind the leaves.
Their singing is characteristic and musical and a treat to hear in the morning instead of Radio Ceylon's opening music.
Every knows about the Koha (common cuckoo) and why one should worry about.
1. Bird population has drastically dropped and dropping rapidly including common village crows and cuckoos.
2. I can recognize a young one's song from old one by their tone.
3. The are rared by crows and once chased out of the brood they have a characteristic nervy cry of a loner for few days.
4. Then they come to term with it and start a new life.
5. This new life is basically of finding a partner.
6. By May they are paired and the cry is more musical and vibrant.
7. Present context
I heard the nervy cry at 3 in the morning.
Luckily I spotted the girly (not a guy-guy has feathers similar to sparrow hawk and is extremely secretive) feeding briefly on the mulberry tree grown to encourage butterflies. They love the caterpillars more than the berries.
Keep on crying for hours on end for the past few days.
8. Conclusion
She has not found partner and very unlikely till the next year.
This one is odd one out and would continue this lonely cry for another year.
I wish with the 2600 year celebrations of Buddhists and Pinkamas there would be one extra guy born (cuckoo) for this lonely cuckoo.
On reflection Buddha was a born environmentalist.
Unlike present day Buddhist monks who build big and palatial residences Buddha left the palace and retired to the jungle except during Wassana (rainy monsoon season).
He was born under a tree.
He attained enlightenment under a pipal tree.
He spent one week gazing at the Bodhi tree (as a gesture of gratitude).
When rain came down and struggling to realize the four Nobel Truths a giant cobra gave shelter to Buddha (this is something who kill snakes should note).
Flowers, birds and monkeys were his constant companion when meditating and concentrating to realize final goal.
In this Kandy City somebody put poison to kill monkeys.
Municipality is constantly uprooting the trees in the name of road clearance and development.
There aren't many pipal trees left in the city.
There aren't many tortoises (two in number) in the lake and the fish are sick and the monitors are devouring the dead.
There aren't any sparrows or pigeons resting in the big upright buildings.
No bees or wasp that used to build their combs in tall buildings.
There are no flower bed that used to be in the center of the city.
Dogs are chased away in the name of rabies.
I am pretty sure the next Buddha to be who is Maithree (kindness probably to animals), assuming Gautama was kind to the mother nature by example and precept, would not choose this city of Kandy for his attainment of Nibbana.
Unless of course we protect our mother nature and trees for resting and nesting for lonely birds and monkeys.
There were more monkeys in this city than humans a century ago when Britishers were reigning and none of them were Buddhists.
My question is how can one attain Nibbana by visiting this sacred city?
In any case Gautama Buddha preferred not to.
Why?
That is also a question that come to my mind constantly.
