Resume for Heaven

Resume for Heaven

If one wants to go to heaven one has to sacrifice some of the earthly things we are used to.

1. One cannot gossip in heaven.

2. This reason cell phones are banned totally in heaven.

3. One has to make personal errands in heaven but this has changed with my friend becoming the Chief's Assistant.

3. One cannot think in heaven lest one try to create some new heavens.

4. They have a high scrutiny when people like Steve Job tries to enter heaven. 

I  cannot talk about it here, now. 

His application is pending approval.

5. Email was introduced (this is where I got involved in) recently with the present Maha Brahma's Assistant taking Office.

6. There is only outgoing mails only.

7. Onward post from Earth is banned.

8. I have a Virtual Email Facility by the courtesy of present incumbent.

9. They are not allowed to sleep or dream except the highest of the order of gods when on duty. 

The reason for this is that the gods have to be watchful all the time to prevent any undesirable from Earth enter. 

This is about the only job they have to do in heaven.

10. Leave is abundant in heaven one can take as much leave as possible and then one can dream as much as possible. But unfortunately most of the gods cannot dream well, especially the Chief himself. 

Most of the gods, the last dream  they had before entering from any sentinel point in the Universe was going to heaven and once one achieves that target there are no dreams left for them to indulge in.

11. Games are plenty and allowed  all the time but betting is completely banned. Apart from email facility one of the reasons they introduced computers  was to play games but war games are completely banned.

12. They are now considering touch system tabloids (without phone facility) to play games and on that ground alone they might consider taking Steve Job to heaven but the entry is still pending and waiting for the approval from the real Maha Brahma on vacation.

So if you think of going to heaven read my resume carefully before one makes an entry.

Urea (Urine) Treatment

Urea (Urine) Treatment

Some of my visitors are nosy and ask some silly question.

Especially when they see my flowering plants.

Most of them take no time to learn some basics in biology or gardening.

They know I do not use artificial manure.

If they ask what I put in, for them to grow healthily.

I promptly say Urine.

Usually, they do no go ahead with a second or third question.

If they probe a second question,
I promptly say it is my dog who does look after the garden and I rarely use other method but there are other reliable supplies.

At that point most of them stop asking any more question expecting me to say human supply.

So far nobody has gone beyond that point but my real supply come from my pet fish.

With temperatures over 95 degrees Fahrenheit, I have to empty the water frequently to get rid of the algae which is a perennial problem and  I have not found a solution yet to the algae including toxic varieties.

Rest is banana skins (I have discontinued using banana skins since there is a poison in them that prevent plant growth sprayed by the CIC and vendors) and tea leaves.

In this country our farmers inject UREA to the  flower stem (Banana) to make them grow bigger.

The UREA they use contain heavy metals and I have been trying to educate the consumers not to eat them or the vendors to not to buy or sell them injected with urea.

There is cadmium too.

It has become a problem since banana growing is not done on a commercial scale but as a supplementary vegetation.

Banana is a very healthy fruit but our fellows are poisoning it with Urea contaminated with heavy metals including cadmium.

There is no quality control in this country only money making.
Edited on the 30th of April, 2012.