Granny Award
I
intend to award a “Granny Award” in my mother’s name, to any
person who come with an English Drama based on the stages mentioned
below.
The
contents are Open Source and are generally under the Linux GPL
Convention.
1.
Originator Unknown Ceylonese Author in his late Nineties (I claim he
is not my late father)
2.
Recent Rendering by a Bookshop Assistant in Kandy who wishes to be
anonymous.
3.
This edition is by me (Mini-Me Version) and BABA (one of my dear
friends who is no more with us), SAMBA, BIMBA, ZIMBA, SINHA BAR (Lion
BAR), ALI (Kandy
elephants, the two legged
variety) and any
HORA-BABA (fatherless baby) or any unborn Ceylonese Baba (baby) can
participate in future developments of this humane animal story
(copy-left).
Currently
the Pothe-Guru (story Teller) is me, the current author.
The
Big Daddy Version (the language of communication could be from
simple to vulgar depending on the alcohol content) is only for
private consumption of my friends especially after a suitable
beverage except the Ceylon Dust Tea (not Tiger Wood’s recent TEE)
which I use as manure for ornamental plants.
Evam
Mesuthan Ekam Samayam!
So,
said and so heard.
1.
I was a privy to Relay Carnival (passing the bucks relay, really
fast, like the Hedging Deal and now the Bond Scams) in the Animal
(they are more humane and eat only when hungry) Kingdom.
I
was the only Ceylonese selected by an island wide Lottery conducted
by the Hela Urumaya (or Hela Karumaya) Surakumu Foundation (HUKU-SUMU
for short).
2.
I was on holiday in a Forest Reservation (Jungle Habitat).
3.
I observe an elderly (prostate enlarged) Peter Rabbit grazing.
4.
Jack the Jackal (with financial interests in Ceylon) greedily waiting
for an innocent prey.
5.
Scene of the Jackal (both hip joints and knee joints are replaced-by
bionic prosthesis delivered by a Ceylonese Tele Shop Giant on a Plate
made of unclaimed Credit Cards-because of his Royal Ancestry) chasing
the Rabbit.
6.
Blind forest (Hermen) hermit descends from heaven and lands on a busy
Junction (Thun-Man Chinthana Handiya) for free Dhana.
7.
Rabbit approaching the hermit with break neck speed without a Crash
Helmet.
8.
Rabbit jumps over hermit visibly shaken up and annoyed.
9.
Lands a squirt of Holy (Medical) Water (Urine for short) right on the
nose and mouth.
10.
Hermit really thinks the water is holy and ascends to a higher Jhana.
11.
Jackal approaches the hermit with a bionic speed and put on breaks
instantaneously.
12.
Jackal licks the nose and face of the hermit.
13.
Hermit rudely awakened from his Transient Trance (Transient Ischaemic
Attack-TIA).
14.
Jackal reprimands the hermit with a nasty comment;
Why
don’t you stay a few feet above the ground?
15.
Well, I was thinking about my Bank Balance of Merit (PIN-Numbers) in
Seylan Bank and settled where I ought to be, was his reply.
16.
Well then, did you see a rabbit running this way?
17.
Yes, Yes I heard some animal running but I cannot say what species he
was but I can very well tell you that he was a male.
18.
You say you are a hermit and blind.
How
can one see the SEX of an animal running fast in a Meditative Mode?
19.
Didn’t the Master tells you, it is an illegal task to think about
sex in Meditative Trance?
20.
We animals think about sex, only when we are in full sexual flow and
not otherwise, he proclaimed.
21.
Can you tell me how the Blind Hermit instantaneously guessed the SEX
of the fast moving passerby?
Help;
Nothing
to do with his urine or prostate and it is due to some other reason.
Only
a celonese would be able to guess the answer and it is a common
saying when a policeman is chasing a politician who has committed a
traffic offense.
Postscript:
Last
Life-Purva-Bhava Connections
1.
The hermit was a Traffic Warden (an active member of Hela Urumaya)
who went to heaven instantaneously when hit by a Guy from the
Presidential Escort.
2.
The rabbit was a monk who went in search of emancipation in Ceylon
Parliament and deposited his hard earned money in a private bank.
The
Jackal was a Ceylonese Private Banker, better than an American
swindler.
I
was of course the CNN Reporter Assistant (only doing the editing) of
iReportes, using a stolen mobile telephone.
Corollary
Only
a male Jackal with large prostate can squirt a healthy vigorous
stream while running, and a man cannot.
The
rabbit in this story did it due to fear and the anger (monk standing
on his getaway flight).
A
female (liberal woman) will never be able to perform this act even
when standing, the future female US President or probable female
candidates included.
.
