This story was long overdue.
This I extracted from a Dog Banker or more or less from a Banker’s dog.
I went to ask for an overdraft facility to pay my Telephone, Electricity and Water bills for the month of December from a commercial bank.
It was a Friday and I went very early, even before the bank was open.
You know, in spite of many banks and many facilities one has to wait in the queue to get your own money.
But, if one has to get money from the bank, one has to wait longer in the queue.
Then the questions they ask before extending whatever the facility they release you, like release on bail like procedure, I wish I am dead and born on a different planet.
Because I was early, I had nothing else but to watch the procedure of opening the bank diligently.
There was a big security guard wearing a big beard. The officer of a lower rank who comes first was not there, yet.
When I entered, dog had a little sniff at me and ignored me as nothing of worth and he knew at a glance I was not a bank thief. Mind you these dogs are trained to detect thieves and rich people only.
In Russia dogs are trained to sniff dollar bills, currently.
I did fall into neither.
The dog look tired and bit restless, profusely salivating and the security guard looked obviously in a panic mode. The officer of a lower rank did come and immediately followed by the manager of the bank.
Anyway, I knew the manager very well and he promptly extended the credit facility and I was off on the street in a flash having exchanged Christmas and New Year greetings.
He even told me that bank officers are the only ones who never get greeting cards or chocolates.
But my scientific observation even though brief was the reason for the discovery of this story, I am going to tell you.
During our industrial action I developed a little gadget using Raspberry Pi, the latest IT gadget on ARM base (not Microsoft fortunately) on the market, one can modify to one’s own taste from media centre to a server utility.
I decided to record dogs’ dreams and their talks.
Since, the ARM is open source, I have decided not to apply for any industry award as the creation of this century.
The reason being, if we record all what dogs talk about bankers, economic experts and politicians, I will be executed by a special decree.
You will get a rare glimpse of only a randomly random but aberrant sample of it.
This gadget works only a short wireless distance but a considerable distance over frequencies what dogs can detect but humans cannot.
If I had used wireless distance, I had to go behind dogs and no dog will relate any story privy to them, if I follow them on street talks, fearing their extinction from this planet.
Dogs talks are honest and their dreams are very simple unlike our politicians, fortunately. I set up a big antenna covering my sphere of activity and the few banks around me. I had to scan over about a week to get a proper story, since there were much mundane stories from Paraya dogs talking about their meager supply in dustbins and there were only a few Bank Dogs.
Finally, I got hold over the dog who belonged to this particular bank strangely on street with another Paraya dog.
It was an illuminating story.
The Paraya started the dog talk.
Are you on holiday?
Nope.
You will be sacked from your job know?
I will be, if I do not find my girl friend.
Why?
I put her as my replacement or decoy and she did not turn up today.
That is why I am on the street, can you help me?
NO PROBLEM.
Can you describe the one, I have many girl friends which I have lost count of.
How many you have?
One regular and only a few others since,
I cannot get leave from duty to roam about.
Ten, he said I know this particular one, she is not a Paraya variety anyway but cross between pedigree and Paraya.
I will take you to her but what is around your neck?
It does not look like dog collar or a belt but a necklace. I do not see bankers wearing artificial metal except gold nowadays with gold prices sky high!
No it is not a necklace but security keys of the bank. I am taking them to my girl friend and she delivers it to the guard and both of are safe then.
It is very naughty know, the bank is at risk know?
No as long as the keys are with dogs.
It is the humans one cannot trust.
I am also sure that he will not sleep in his post till he finds the keys.
When I am there he sleeps and I am doing a service to my master, the bank by this method.
She goes there first and get half of my meal and I immediately follow after her anger towards me had disappeared.
You are very brainy know?
That is how I became a Bank Dog.
I must tell you I have edited a lot of this story since getting a scanned story is difficult since the dogs are always on the move and they go through various routes with many obstacles including magnetic devices installed.
It is not like reading a Sunday paper where from editorial to news to features are doctored. Then I have to convert the frequencies in them to analogue and word form and many traces are lost and lot of pauses.
Unlike human, dogs do not keep on talking and they do other things in between which we are not familiar with.
I will detour here and few lines on bankers dreams which are retold by dogs while listening to their conversations after heavy drinks.
The dream are not like my dreams and no need to send them to Maha for interpretations.
They are very simple and only a very few.
One dream is becoming a director of a bank and not a bank officer when one does not have to work.
Other is getting a post in a foreign bank.
They are so real they cannot be categorised as real dreams. Now I will give a summary form the way a bank security guard works from data analysed from Raspberry Pi modified.
1. They are very good sleeping on duty hours like most of our security guards on duty.
2. They feed the dog half the quota due for the dog. The better half he eats. Their food is no better than dog food anyway.
3. He buys liqueur from the saved money since their pay is no better.
4. Then he goes to sleep while the dog half hungry does his part of the job.
5. That is why they devised a plot to get out of the boredom but make sure that the friend dog stays on guard till the official dog returns after roaming. The guard who is drunk and doped could not say who is his dog or who the Paraya dog except when he/she is awake.
This is the way both Paraya dogs and pedigree dogs coexist on this small state where money is everything and duty is not.
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