Sunday, February 24, 2013

Myths, Mirage and Marriage

 It is said married life with kids (not without) prolong one´s life of existence.

I reproduce here posted in asokaplus at wordpress where no one visits.

I cannot remember when I posted this or ever had written this being a married man.

All the same it is worth repeating with some editing and formatting.

The 3Ms here have common ancestry.

None of can be achievable and each one of them is shrouded in mystery.

For example one who is lost and disorientated in desert sand would not know for certain he is arriving at a water hole or not.

Myths of can be expanded to any direction or dimension one who is seeking the miracle go to any extent to believe what in reality is not achievable and where there the reality is the major casualty.

Some common practices and beliefs merge into day to day life sometimes almost imperceptible to reality.

Marriage is an institution that has gained such a reputable credence that writing anything against is amounting to desecration and sacrilegious.

That is the myth I am going to expose and explode.

There is no intention of disrupting any healthy harmony that may exists in any relationship or institution.

Healthy relationships can exist and lasting friendships can be developed without this institution existing its power over individuals but when something is institutionalized and when it is bound to the common law and practices and finely tuned with ethical and moral practices of a culture aforesaid myth and mirage also will get entangled with it.

Idea here is to disentangle certain myths associated with marriage.

1. Marriage is a perfect union

2. Marriage works because of give and take

3. Marriage is a stable institution

4. There is freedom in marriage

5. It does not grow old but remain live

6. It gives security

7. It has common goals

8. It makes life complete

9. Without this institution human relationships cannot be developed

10. Everyone must commit to this institution at one stage of his or her life


This list can go on but suffice is to disentangle the entangled myths.

These arguments are not for one who is already entangled since with the wedlock there is a legal deadlock.

This is for one who leaps into deep water without addressing his or her own issues.

The first casualty in war is truth.

Similarly the first casualty in marriage is freedom.

If you love freedom and lot of hobbies thinks twice before taking the plunge.

1. The first casualty is your hobbies.

2. The second casualty is your friends.
If you have lot of friends and love their company think twice.

3. Third casualty is one’s finance (unless both are bankers with good investment funds for life like the Murdoch).
If you cannot manage finances alone two of you will not mange it better.

4. Fourth myth is the stability and security.
There are no institutions in this world which is stable and secure.
Even the best banks can bust. 

In marriage finances would bust first, especially when the kids come home.

5. It makes life complete is the biggest myth of all.
It makes simple life more complicated in marriage life and you never complete the set targets or your obligations, even if you live beyond 100 years.

6. In marriage more you give in more you have to give and less you have to take. 

One never get a chance to take in, if you are the giver.
It is like putting water into a bucket with hole in the bottom.

7. Marriage does not get old.
It is not true it is the institution that gets older by the minute.
Moment you tie your nuptials and finishes the honeymoon it is old enough to be called a marriage.

That is why we have so many marriage jubilees from its inception. 
This is written with the impending royal wedding in mind.

As long as you are a commoner please do not do what royals do.

Remain a commoner for life and you may advise the royals (couples) in trouble.

Better still you become a divorce lawyer.

Hope the royal couple reads this one day after the honeymoon (too late by then).

I wish Good Luck to them all the same.

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