Chapter 01
I have never been to heaven and what is told here is only a hearsay and not a heresy. I had some connection with the heaven for a very short period of time when one of my dog friends ended up in heaven and that story for completeness sake is told here, as an addendum, when the current and the latest story is dealt with, adequately.
That particular dog is no more and has attained Nibbana by stroke of luck but mainly due to is clever strategy.
He is fully extinguished in the way of Buddhist tradition.
My connection to heaven is through an email facility, which the Maha Brahma granted me while the dog who “Exited” was acting as the Maha Brahma’s Assistant. I still have this email connection. There was no email facility in heaven, at that time and with my Linux computer connection, I established a Server in Heaven to assist Maha Brahama who is now on an eternal holiday. My interests are not on Heaven but on Hell where I was told by our Paraya Dog that some manipulations of sentences are made by surreptitious mechanism created by Ceylonese Ex-lawyers, regarding sentences meted out to our politicians, who have already left us for good. Suffice is to say, no politician has reached heaven from Ceylon. I have gone into depth, in that regard and I have written a solid software in Linux to screen all applications made from Ceylon and that act of vandalism has being aborted and Apaya Server is very well maintained. I am the acting director of Apaya Server, until I kick the bucket from this existence.
I accepted this post since, Maha Brahma himself requested me to look into that problem before, he went on a long vacation. He could not take leave until, the problem in Apaya Server was sorted out.
The current agreement is, I will hold the Acting Capacity of Apaya Server until I exit from here and I am only interested in meting out justice, not rough justice, to our politicians who are ace manipulators of our current affairs. That post would fall vacant after my demise and a new guy would be elected at the discretion of Maha Braha himself.
I have no intention leaving here, just yet.
I have no interest in continuing in that post, since the Server and the Software I have created would last aeons and aeons, since it is made out of Linux Code.
I have already upgraded the kernel to Debian 13 series.
Let me deal with the heaven in general.
All the Gods have a good time when they are there but descend to lower realms the moment they exit. They know it very well and that is why they want us to give them life wire as merits when we dish out Dhana when one of our guys or girls do exit from the planet earth. I have no intention of letting lose, any of my merits left and I wish not come back to earth as a lowly animal.
I wish something better.
I wish to have a full exit, just like our Paraya Dog.
But there is a caveat here.
Our dog Zimba is supposed to be in heaven and I wish to see him at least once or twice because he was such a good soul. I lost my “temper tantrums” thanks to his demeanour while he was with us.
That is my entry point to this book about current dogs.
It is said that all dogs go to heaven and very few humans go there by default. The dogs who go there also realise that when they exit, when the time comes, is also very dicey. Nobody has any control our Rebirth Protocol which is automatic and instantaneous, not even Maha Brahma has any say. What Maha Brahma tries to do is to allocate the remaining merits (Kusal) or demerits (Akusal) in accordance with Cause and Effect Principle and nothing more.
It is not a laborious task but a boring task. Nevertheless, he enjoys the sequence of events and he lives longer than the other gods. In other words, he has more merits and he does not wish to extinguish his flame of good Kamma as the boss of all Gods.
This is where bit of rivalry happens in heaven but that is not the topic of this book.
He is only interested in Dementia in humans. There is currently, no Dementia in Gods, they do remember everything big or small. All what Maha Brahma (no vetting at all) does in heaven is monitored by other gods who wishes to take his place, when he exits. This has created some issues to Maha Brahma who wishes, some of his cohorts develop some form of Temporary Dementia so that he can enjoy his long and much welcome holiday without any snooping by other greedy gods.
He is considering some form genetic manipulations in a few of his aspiring God candidates without any malice. I have been working with children all my life except for a brief period in New Zealand where I had to deal with geriatric patients. For the first time, I saw lot of them with dementia and had developed some interest in preventing dementia which is not a problem for the victims but to their non-demented kith and kin, which is a big pain.
It is a big pain, for the next of kins.
I have make some reference to Dhammapada here and it is relevant.
It is rare to be born as a human and do not waste that instance with mundane affairs.
That is where the “Exit” dog had put a stamp of approval of Buddha’s Teaching. This dog who was frequenting the Malwatta Temple in Kandy had heard some wise sermons in his time as a dog. Rest of the dogs including Pedigree dogs only realise their plight only when they have reached the mighty heaven.
The three dogs mention are involved in a Dementia Protocolat at the behest of the Maha Brahma. If this protocol is successful a portion of the research proceeds would be donated to “Independent Dementia Research” on this planet.
There are so many demented guys in American politics, I consider using them as my research data base after their retirement from politics (i.e; after two terms in office). Ceylonese politicians are excluded since they are in advanced stage of “Dementia Documentosa Stage III”, for any benefit to their souls.
They are better off dead for a long rein in hell. For the sake of their young family members wishing to take up politics in the future, I am going to have a Secure Linux Database (S.L.D. for short).
The prescription is not the same. The same lies their forefathers used cannot be used in future and better and more consumptive lies of global nature needs to be created.
Public Advertisement for Suitable Dogs
This for a Dementia Research protocol, both for humans and dogs.
I need to screen three dogs, for this study.
If you have a dog who fits the bill you may apply.
No reimbursement by default.
1. TheCDC Dog who is in charge of the research money. Protocol of how the money should be distributed is under discussion.
Already a Ceylonese stray dog has volunteered for this post.
2. The second dog is named asHeavenly Dogand any man or women should with extra dogs in their litters well trained by them, of course, can hire the specimen for the entire period of the research.
No reimbursement by default.
3. The third dog has to be special.
He / she should have nano second memory since he / she in going to be in charge of the Dementia Research Protocol. He can be named eitherAmnesia Original orTails (Total Amnesia in Living Soul)Dog. The idea is I need to keep the copyright of the project for myself. If the dog remembers my methodology it is a liability.
Mind you dog has wonderful memories, unlike humans.
Sex of the dog is immaterial.
The above was an advertisement, I posted three years ago. I got lot of applications but did not bother to screen them. Unfortunately, a few of them have already died due to negligence and the owners have left us for good. It is a cardinal rule one should not give a dog to a senior citizen who is at the end of the life tether.
This story is bit complicated even though, the three dogs were born in a single litter in Ceylontheirmasters were totally different which is normal for any dog. The reason being their past lives were altogether different in style. For the sake of simplicityMaha Brahma,the chief of all gods has put all of them in aSingle Will and a Single Litter. Additionally, this story came to me as a dream with minor inconsistencies which were edited by me andMaha Brahma did not have any direct involvement. I derive satire by writing this book but Devas, especiallyMaha Brahmado not understand what is satire and what is humour in human terms.
They live in eternal bliss and satire and humour are no components or part of theseJhana states. That is where, I made a indirect connection withMaha Brahma. I take a few of my satire pieces and explain them toMaha Brahmaand he has a hearty laugh and disappear in a flash. He is more interested in rebirth of beings in the universe and he has an enormous capacity to remember past births but not as good as ourBuddhawho can remember a lot.
I never would have got a chance to probe past births of our dogs, if not forMaha Brahma. To myknowledge Buddhahas not elaborated on dog stories not relevant to thePath. By reading these stories, I assure you that nobody would attain higher bliss but only earthly amusement. If you are a guy or girl onto the path or a pathfinder you should not read this book by your own conviction.
By the way, thanks to his permission, I could publish them in America on Amazon books.
Given time and lapses in my memory, I have forgotten many of the details and one can never remember the dreams in full but only as snippets, in spite of recording them in a piece of paper, the very next morning. In that sense, the reader should vary about the inconsistencies.For the sake of clarity, I may have done some involuntary editing in the scheme of things, like what the C.I.A top brass would do in his submissions to the White House, to make the story legible and cohesive. By the way, the current White House has lot of nasty dogs.
Maha Brahma in his own wisdom has produced three drops of heavenly water, one for each dog to be given within 10 days of the birth. The10 days being, the expiry date of theHeavenly Water on planet earth which may vary from galaxy to galaxy. You know water evaporates given the correct physical conditions, just like my memory.
I was assigned this work with conditions similar to the C.I.A style and it had to be done very surreptitiously, so that the American Dog Food (A.D.F) companies do not get even a sniff. These companies have no connection to what is told here.
Those drops one each were administered to the dogs without the prior knowledge of theprospective owner, before the adoption. Had this information was available first hand to the prospective owners, theywouldguess that something amiss and would not have adopted them. The scrutiny of dogs before adoption is very severe and harsh only a few become, real time pedigree dogs.
I was also warned not to tell theVeterinary Surgeon in charge of the existence of thisGodly Will. I was forewarned that these dog’s were sent here as aResearch Protocol of Dementia in both Dogs and Humans and forMaha Brahma to keep the soleCopyright withHeavenly Intent.For this reason,thethree dogs were bydefault made amnesic (The Amnesia Incognito) after 10 days of their birth. This has nothing to do with Linux distribution Tails (Total Amnesia Incognito Live System) development which was a simple coincidence.
Equally, the work had to be done expediently.
One should make a note that dogs have different personalities due to their past life connections.
First dog’s breed was akin to an American Dog and it had the shortest memory, almost bordering dementia.
The second dog most likely in an earlier birth would have been a Russian Dog wholly bred for espionage work who could learn, a foreign language, if stationed in an airport lounge, in a short time framework as short as 10 days.
The third dog named CDC dog was Ceylonese stray dog. His previous birth was spent entirely in Ceylon. He was a pavement hawker in Colombo, Pettah involved in smuggling goods pilfered from the ships in the harbour.
Making a Recipe from Heavenly Water
This was a wonderful opportunity for me to make a substantial living contribution to myself in addition to the contribution to theDementia Treatment Protocol. However, I made a simple request fromMaha Brahma.
One (1) drop was diluted with coconut water to makemy own recipe.
One (1) drop was kept away for safe keeping.
The third drop was put on the scale for sale for the highest bidder, of course the Americans also could bid.
Maha Bramha saw my proposal as good as he could have made it, since I decided to keep one drop for safe keeping and open bidding is not anEnterprise in Heaven.
Each God gets his dues from previous doings automatically or theKamma in evolution andMaha Brahma does not keep arrears pending. My recipe was a top secret not givenevento the Chocolate Manufacturers in Switzerland.
However, I decided to add some chocolates as an ingredient.
Maha had no objections.
Chapter 02
Yes the dog who looked like an American dog was in previous birth was an American of high repute. He was involved in espionage involving rockets, missiles and high tech stuff.
Regarding American about dogs, 2% of all survey respondents said they dislike dogs a lot, while 15% said they dislike cats a lot. The survey results do not stop there. 68% of pet owners like both dogs and cats, while 26% like only dogs and 3% like only cats. Americans are twice as likely to think of themselves as a “dog person” (40%) than as a “cat person” (20%). Many (31%) say they like cats and dogs equally and few (8%) say they don't like either.
The dog population experienced relative stability from 1987 to 1996, before seeing a yearly increase of 3-4% since that time. In 2000, there were 68 million dogs in the country, and by 2017 that estimate had grown to 90 million registered as pets, with about 40% of American households owning a dog.
In 2012, there were 83.3 million dogs and about 47% of households had a dog. 70% of the owners had only one dog, 20% of the owners had two dogs and 10% of the owners had three or more dogs. In 2017 there was an average of 1.5 pet dogs per household.
In comparison, in 2017 there were 94.2 million pet cats in the USA, yet with fewer households having at least one.
History
Some of the earliest archaeological traces of the existence of dogs in the United States can be dated back to 9,000 BC. Dogs came to America after crossing from Siberia to Alaska, and it was during this period that the domestication of dogs began in America.
A variety of American dog breeds are noted to have been mixed with Spanish and French dog breeds. The European idea of registering dog breeds and breed clubs led to the foundation of Kennel Club in Great Britain in 1873. The American Kennel Club, prevalent in The United States, was highly influenced by this European predecessor. Currently, The American Kennel Club is the largest purebred dog registry and registers more than 1 million dogs each year. The kennel club also organises events for purebred dogs.
The dog (Canis familiaris or Canis lupus familiaris) is a domesticated descendant of the wolf. Also called the domestic dog, it is derived from the extinct Pleistocene wolf, the grey wolf is the dog's closest living relative. The dog was the first species to be domesticated by humans. Experts estimate that hunter gatherers domesticated dogs more than 15,000 years ago which was before the development of agriculture. Due to their long association with humans, dogs have expanded to a large number of domestic individuals and gained the ability to thrive on a starch rich diet that would be inadequate for other canids.
The dog has been selectively bred over millennia for various behaviours, sensory capabilities and physical attributes. Dog breeds vary widely in shape, size, and colour. They perform many roles for humans, such as hunting, herding, pulling loads, protection, assisting police and the military, companionship, therapy and aiding disabled people. Over the millennia, dogs became uniquely adapted to human behaviour and the human canine bond has been a topic of frequent study.
This influence on human society has given them the sobriquet of "man's best friend".
Chapter 03
Russian Dog
Yes the dog who looked like an Russian dog was in previous birth was an Russian of high repute. He was no different to the American and involved in espionage involving language skills.
It is believed that humans can be reincarnated as dogs and dogs as humans. Upon death, a dog's tail is cut off so that if its spirit is reborn human, the human does not have an embarrassing tail. The dogs were and are huge source of pride to nomadic families.
Siberian Dog
The earliest remains generally accepted to be those of a domesticated dog were discovered in Bonn-Oberkassel, Germany. Contextual, isotopic, genetic, and morphological evidence shows that this dog was not a local wolf. The dog was dated to 14,223 years ago and was found buried along with a man and a woman, all three having been sprayed with red haematite powder and buried under large, thick basalt blocks. The dog had died of canine distemper. Earlier remains dating back to 30,000 years ago have been described as Paleolithic dogs but their status as dogs or wolves remains debated because considerable morphological diversity existed among wolves during the Late Pleistocene.
This timing indicates that the dog was the first species to be domesticated in the time of hunter gatherers which predates agriculture.
DNA sequences show that all ancient and modern dogs share a common ancestry and descended from an ancient, extinct wolf population which was distinct from the modern wolf lineage.
The dog is a classic example of a domestic animal that likely travelled a commensal pathway into domestication. The questions of when and where dogs were first domesticated have taxed geneticists and archaeologists for decades.
Genetic studies suggest a domestication process commencing over 25,000 years ago, in one or several wolf populations in either Europe, the high Arctic or Eastern Asia. In 2021, a literature review of the current evidence infers that the dog was domesticated in Siberia 23,000 years ago by ancient North Siberians, then later dispersed eastward into the Americas and westward across Eurasia with dogs likely accompanying the first humans to inhabit the Americas.
In traditional Russian culture, the dog is considered a symbol of loyalty, devotion and impurity. A large number of proverbs, sayings and ethnographic descriptions prove this attitude. This ambivalent attitude towards the dog can be explained by the relationship between the dog and the wolf.
My impression is an average Russian does not like dogs. There are lot of stray dogs in Russia and one of themLaikawas sent to space and died there.
The city ofMoscow,Russia hosts a large population of free ranging or stray dogs. Many operate in packs and have become accustomed to seeking food from passersby. Some of them who frequent or inhabit the subway have attracted international attention for learning how to use the trains to commute between various locations. The most famous Muscovite street dog isLaika who ended up being the first one of the first animals in space and the first toOrbit the Earth.
The issue of Moscow's stray dogs was first mentioned by Russian writers such as journalistVladimir Gilyarovsky in the late 19thcentury. The sad lot was dramatised byAnton Chekhov in the famous short storyKashtanka byMikhail Bulgakov in the novellaHeart of a Dog and byGavriil Troyepolsky in the novelWhite Bim Black Ear.
As of March 2010, there were an estimated 35,000 free ranging dogs living within Moscow's city limits or approximately one dog for every 300 people, and about 32 per square km (84 per square mile).
Below is a comment of a dog lover in Russia who does not know what to feed the dog, just like me who used to give our dog chocolates which poisons its liver.
My dog eats wet dog food and homemade food.
Yes, because it is cheaper and allows a better variety.
Mostly neutral.
When I walk my dog 3/10 people smile because he is a cutie and maybe 1/10 acts annoyed or scared. Most people I know do not own dogs because it is not that easy to keep a dog in a tiny flat in a big city and the very thought of it seems bonkers to them.
AFAIK there is no law to vaccinate your dog so it is up to the owner. I feel like visiting doctors just for a checkup is not a thing, not only for dogs but for Russian people, too. My dog visits vet when it is time to renew his vaccinations, to get flea treatment and so on. Not all vet clinics are good but all vets I met (with my cats also) were kind gentle souls.
I do not rent nor have friends who own dogs and rent flats, so I am not sure but it is usually not pet friendly.
Yes, even stray dogs ride trams sometimes.
Breeds like corgis, beagles, pugs and all kinds of small fluffy dogs that look like toys (sorry, I’m not very good in remembering breeds). Huskies, Shiba inus, German shepherds and golden retrievers are popular too but their popularity seems to fade. What surprised me in a good way when I got my dog is that lots of dogs we meet are rescued stray mongrel dogs or mixes unwanted by the breeders. Like half dogs we meet on playgrounds are undefined breeds. Mine is probably a mix of shepherd and a vacuum cleaner.
Breeds like pit bulls used to be considered evil and they are not popular. I only know one pit bull and she is a good girl.
Honestly no idea of how to feed a dog.
The Bankhar Dog
Historically, the Bankhar was an inseparable part of the nomadic herder’s life. The traditional greeting when approaching aMongolian person is to say “Hold your dog!”
InMongolia,Bankhardogs are thought to be “of the same spirit” as humans, and dogs are the only animals that are given names. When aBankhardies, its remains are typically placed on top of a mountain so it is closer to the gods and spirit world and so that people do not walk over its bones. It is believed that humans can be reincarnated as dogs and dogs as humans. Upon death, a dog’s tail is cut off so that if its spirit is reborn human, the human does not have an embarrassing tail.
The dogs were and are a huge source of pride to nomadic families. Unfortunately over the last 80 years, modern breeds have been brought into Mongolia. The Bankhar, which were historically the only dogs in Mongolia, are now very rare.
Bankhar dogs are an ancient land race, not a breed but a type of dog shaped through thousands of years of coevolution with humans driven by the need for an effective guardian of livestock on the Mongolian steppe. Bankhar are large, athletic, protective and need comparatively little food for their size. They are perfectly adapted to the intense ecosystems of Mongolia.
Bankhar may also be the progenitor of all livestock guardian dogs. Recent studies point to the origin of the domestic dog as central Asia around 15,000 years ago. The DNA samples were used to support this hypothesis and in the paper available here, Doug Lally was coauthor along with Cornell University professor Adam Boyko PHD, among others.
What happened to the Bankhar?
bankhar comp
Kilgore – one of our younger males at our breeding facility. Showing great promise with sheep. Tall and athletic (over 31 inches) at 1.5 years old.
During the Communist era of Mongolia, which lasted from the 1920s to the 1990s, during which Mongolia was a satellite state of the Soviet Union, Bankhar dogs were let loose or exterminated when nomads were forcibly relocated in socialist-style settlements. Additionally, Bankhar dogs were targeted because of the mistaken idea that the dogs spread illness to people and livestock. Bankhar pelts became fashionable for stylish Russian coats, and the largest dogs were killed to feed the growing dog coat industry.
In general, the Soviet-based Communist education system lead to a loss of knowledge of how to breed, train and employ livestock protection dogs.
A current danger to the population of Bankhar is interbreeding with the fashionable Tibetan Mastiff. Mastiffs are genetically distinct from Bankhar and are not working dogs. Mixed Mastiff genes in the Bankhar gene-pool have degraded the quality of the working dog genes of Bankhar. There are few pockets of true Bankhar dogs left. Mongolian Bankhar Dog Project has identified them using DNA testing and has isolated these dogs for breeding the next generation of genuine working Bankhar guardian dogs.
About Livestock Protection Dogs
Livestock Protection Dogs (LPDs) have been used by humans for millennia to protect herds of domesticated livestock and goats from predators. The effectiveness of LPDs in reducing livestock predation is well documented on every continent.
Currently, over 50% of the sheep ranchers in the western United States use livestock protection dogs as part of their management programs.
What is a Landrace?
LGD-steppes
The Bankhar, like many other livestock guardian dogs across Asia and Europe, is not a breed, but a ‘landrace’. A landrace is a domesticated species of animal that has evolved over time, in a natural and cultural environment, and in this case has adapted to the local agricultural and pastoral conditions under the guidance of nomadic herders. This is a critical distinction from the word,‘breed’. Bankhar dogs have evolved and co-evolved with humans to fit to a very particular niche. The reason why a Bankhar dog looks and behaves as it does is to maximize its efficiency and effectiveness as a working livestock protection animal.
This means that Bankhar near Kazakhstan will have more influences of the dogs in Kazakhstan (these are just the natural regional variations of the Central Asian Ovcharka, not to be confused with modern show breed of the same name). The same goes for Tibetan livestock guardian dogs. It is this continuum of traits and a continued gene flow that keeps genetic diversity high. High genetic diversity ensures that the dogs are able to adapt to changes or roles effectively, as well as help to avoid deleterious recessive genes from being expressed in the population or an individual.
It is our policy to avoid referring to the Bankhar as a breed and not to distinguish it substantially from other forms of the great landrace of dogs from Spain to Mongolia. We do feel it is important that our dogs represent the naturally evolved variations of the Bankhar found within Mongolia. We use DNA analysis to ensure that our dogs do not have modern dog breed genes in their make up. However, we do not distinguish genes from “neighboring” natural dog types, as these genes have always moved into and out of the genetic makeup of the Bankhar.
Description:
Height: Females 26-29 inches at shoulder and males 28-33 inches at shoulder
Weight: Females 80-90 pounds, Males 85-125 pounds
Colors: All coat colors are possible, but white is rare. Most common is black and mahogany with mahogany “eye spots” over eyes and white patch on chest (this coloring is know ans the Mongolian Four Eye Dog), but tan, brown, and black and white are also common. Mongolians traditionally like the darker “four eye” dogs since it helps them distinguish their dogs from wolves. The “extra” eyes are also thought to see into the spirit world.
Coat: The coat of the Bankhar tends to be very full and long (3-4 inches, or about 9 centimeters) in the winter with a very heavy undercoat. However, due to the vastness of Mongolia and the variation in climate, the Bankhar seems to have a plastic response to climate conditions and does not grow such a heavy coat in warmer regions. This is relative of course since Mongolia is one of the coldest places on earth with temperatures ranging from 110°F to -55°F (43°C to -48°C) with a yearly average of 31°F (-1°C).
General:
Typical meal - boiled rice, sheep innards and cheese whey. These dogs are lighter in build and more athletic than their nearby relatives the Tibetan Mastiff or Central Asian Ovcharka. DNA analysis by Cornell University indicates that the Bankhar has very high genetic diversity (this is related to a more primitive genome and high gene flow between regional “races” of a landrace versus the decreased genetic diversity of a standardized breed).
Bankhar are comparatively long-lived. Examples of 15-18 year old dogs working with nomads in the field is not uncommon – this is of interest since most Bankhar never receive veterinary care and eat solely boiled livestock innards, rice or noodles, and bones.
Bone diseases such as hip dysplasia seem to be very rare. This might be an artifact of survival; if a dog had these types of issues it would not make it in Mongolia. However we have not collected any reports from nomads ever having seen issues that could be explained as a bone disorder.
Our experience and data show that the Bankhar breeds once a year in Mongolia (one of the coldest countries in the world). In a less hostile climate it is possible that they might breed more often – we simply don’t know.
Temperament:
Bankhar, like most livestock guardian dogs, have an independent nature and tend to think for themselves. They are very loyal to their charges and protect them with their lives. They do not tend to be dogs that chase predators for vast distances, but they will attack predators without hesitation if the predator does not back down or leave the area immediately.
Bankhar are not very aggressive toward people unless raised to be so. Once introduced, a working Bankhar will typically ignore a human and return to its protection job. Bankhar will not let people approach their charges if they are unaccompanied by a human the dog trusts. Raised well and socialized with people, Bankhar are like any other pet dog, trustworthy and part of the community.
Chapter 04
Ceylonese Dog
Who looked like aCeylonese Paraya dog was not fortunate enough. He born as a street hawker in Colombo. His job was to carry tails in addition to carry babies in baskets to sterile parents.
Dog with Diplomatic Instincts
This is about the Ceylonese Dog.
He was sent to Russia to communicate with two other dogs in Russia.
One is pure bred Russian dog.
The other a pure bred American dog sent to Russia by President Trump.
Everybody knows President Putin is a dog lover.
Problem was very simple.
The American dog refused to coexist with the Russian dog.
They were antagonistic and living in two separate kennels with two different handlers.
How come a Ceylonese Dog get involved?
It has to do with Ceylonese President's political ambitions as a global guy.
He has gone to India and has cordial relationship with China. Inadvertently, he relegated Russia to the third place and he has to make amends.
How did I get involved in?
I am working with Maha Brahma to find a solution to Dementia in dogs. He did not want demented earthlings for his study protocol. Maha is on long holiday and the current Acting Maha is a Ceylonese stray (Paraya) dog. I knew this Paraya dog when he was on this planet in Kandy City near Malwatta Temple. He was scavenging there and had the luxury of listening to Bana Desana (Dhamma sermons).
As a merit of that Good Kamma he landed in heaven not in a dog haven.
Coming to our dog with diplomatic instincts, he was the third in a mixed litter to whom a Godly Water was sprinkled at the behest of the Maha Brahma to cause dementia. In actual fact, without the knowledge of the owner and the veterinary surgeon a few drops of the heavenly water was given to each dog before the first suckling. By an elaborate scheme these dogs were made to be purchased by a Russian, an American and a wealthy businessman well connected to Ceylonese President. Two were delivered to Russia and America through diplomatic missions.
He was to be delivered to Russia to solve the current dog problem but was delayed. Third was left in Ceylon for a while, all due to staggered elections. Now that President Trump in office slowly but surely, ice is breaking and a chance for real diplomacy raising it's head (Acting Maha Brahma with him own dog's wisdom knew how the things will fall into place), our president can play a master stroke by offering help to remedy President Putin's Predicament of dealing with the two demented dogs.The dementia has become so bad the dog has forgotten their given name.
Our diplomatic dog was a godly blessing.
How he achieved diplomatic talents?
He was in previous life was a payment hawker in Colombo Pettah streets selling smuggled goods from the harbour. It was a uxury trade of the past in Ceylon when forein goods were banned under Sirimavo and N.M.Perera. He was renown as a RA or Toddy man since, he promoted Coconut Toddy in Ceylon. He could talk into any potential buyer the wisdom of buying his kits, never tested or validated by a living soul. Making a Kalu Kaputa Sudu (making a black bird a white bird) scenario.
That is simply a diplomatic trade on the streets of Colombo and average citizen loved it. I was one of those citizens. In any case, diplomats are trained to lie for the country.
Indian are very good at it.
I can very well remember how I purchased an electronic balance for my research work (could not find a in retail shops and the cost of importing one from Japan was prohibitive, to say the least) for less than Rs.5000/=. It is still in working condition.
Titus Stores in Pettah main street was my first visit and it did not have any to my satisfaction.
This guy used to sell these smuggled items at exorbitant prices.
For that crime he became a dog.
How come a dog with diplomatic instincts.
It is very simple.
He used to start the day praying at the Bo tree (pipal tree) in Pettah. In Pettah, the heart of the city of Colombo, at the head of the Central Bus Station where Olcott Mawatha meets Gas Works Street today stands a very old pipal tree.
It is also called Kodi Gaha Yata, since people used to hand small flags as an offering to gods.
What is in for me in these dealing?
It is a lot.
Russia has black listed us from any formal Visa. Probably due to our dealing with Ukraine during our internal conflict. We were buying faulty Russian MiG-27 helicopters from Ukraine one of which ditched in Negambo lagoon.
I wished to travel to Russia from 1970s. Had I not been able to enter Medical Faculty, I would have ended up in Lumumba University in Russia. We had very cordial relationship with Russia. Besides, Aeroflot flights were the cheapest to London, England. But the overnight stay at Moscow made me to rethink. With very little saving in hand and no job offer in UK, missing a flight to London was not considered prudent.
I up ended flying Swiss Air to London through Amsterdam which I hated the most and vouched not to fly again by that airline.
Emirates became my favorite over the years.
I could not visit Russia and I wish to go for a visit to Russia accompanying this dog with diplomatic talents.
That is the bottom line.
What is in for Maha Brahma?
Now that Maha is in long holiday he is convinced that some of his underlings would plot to oust him in his absence. Our dog Assistant of Maha had got an inkling of this tendency and had warned him of such a scenario. Not one but several of his retinues, plotting against him. He wanted these guys to become demented. Unlike on earth Paranoia is absent in heaven. Paranoia precludes dementia in humans. Maha wants to find the genomic piece of paranoia in these two dogs and transplant the piece into his divine plotters.
It is win win situation.
He gets his competitors wrapped up in delusion of grandiosity.
I get a scheme to make a fast buck by copyrighting this genomic sequence while having a free ride to Russia.
Russia has banned Ceylonese from travelling to Russia unless he or she has some blood relationship to a real Russian.
I did not so far stated whether our Ceylonese dog solved the problem of Russian President.
Yes, he did.
How?
It very simple logic.
He was made to delver the food to the dogs.
The plates were kept outside and the Russian dog has to step outside from the kennel and eat. Until he eats our Ceylonese dog does not touch his food. Every day, the plate is kept further away from the his kennel and more towards the American dog’s kennel until they were facing each other.
It is all sign language in practice.
The dog handlers job is to prompt the name of his dog. In about three months both Russian dog and the American dogs realised they had a name of their own.I suppose our Ceylonese dog should get aNobel Prize for this feat, since no Ceylonese has being nominated so far. The bonus for me is when the award ceremony is held in Stockholm Sweden, I get a chance to accompany the dog as a handler. I have not done this after the demise of our dog Zimba. I would not say anything about Zimba until, I meet him in heaven. Until then, all my passwords for NUC computer would have some element of his name attached as a souvenir
Chapter 05
Metta Meditation for Dogs
I fear for Ceylonese dogs even stray.
They are trained to be aggressive by their owners, especially the tiny breeds.
They have acquired many of of our bad habits. Dogs are dedicated to their owners by default. Restricting them to a kennel and if not tied with a tether in humane. A leash is a rope or similar material used to control an animal by attaching it to a collar, harness, or halter. In British English, a leash is generally for a larger possibly a dangerous or aggressive animal but lead being more commonly used.
If one should not have enough space, one should not be rearing a dog. Taking of the leash out is the first kind action to any dog. This rule has to change if one is walking the dog in a public place. In Ceylon dogs are kept to discourage intruders but invariably they are aggressive to visitors, too.
Dogs get scarred with strangers just like kids. It is natural but if they are treated with absolute kindness over time they become less aggressive.
In my analysis, dogs perform there important roles. They are the only human companion when one is demented or vagrant or destitute. They are the only link for human to have any association heaven or Deva with the premise that all dogs go to heaven without exception. The third is the most important and to the link to theDhammawhich is the Rebirth principle.The dogs are supposed to be reborn as gods. So any restraint or cruelty to dog is inhumane, to say the least. Let me take the restraint first which is cruel. They should be let free as “stray dogs” in Ceylon.
They find their way. Let me start with my story.
Panideniya Stray dogs
All the dogs in the Panideniya Junction would follow me the moment, I enter there. I feed them with not bread but sweet sponge cakes. It is good business, for the Muslim tea maker. All the sweet stuff including Gnanakatha and sponge cakes available, at least three pieces are bought by me and dished out. The leader of the pack was a bitch and nobody could touch any piece until she has had her big portion. Over time, I place the pieces in reach of all of them and they began to corporate. When the coronavirus hit us I stopped going out and i do not know what happened to them. Most likely they quickly realised the predicament and went on their own ways and found a suitable master. When, restrictions were relaxed, I did venture out went out only in a three wheeler and I trained my three wheeler driver to feed them and the dogs knew the feeds coming with the compliments of mine. Then I left Ceylon and leaving them astray. This the story of our dogs. Unlike the citizens they never complain but adopt to the impending scenario.
“Chun Pan” was their only survival.
Use of Restraint
Leather is a durable, natural material that provides strong, long lasting animal restraint, often in the form of muzzles or halters, while rope is a flexible cord that can be used in various ways to control movement, from a simple tether to a specialised muzzle or halter. The choice depends on the animal, the purpose of restraint and the desired method of control, with leather offering greater durability and rope offering more versatility in application.
Leather is natural, durable material known for its longevity and strength but very expensive. I had a collection and dished out to whom I cannot remember before leaving Ceylon. May be to the guy who used to feed all the dogs as a routine. The common use is as muzzles for dogs to prevent biting and in halters for horses to provide a secure yet comfortable fit.
Rope is the generic term for a long, flexible cord made from fibres or wires. They an be fashioned into muzzles, tied as a tether to a post or area, or used in specialised rope halters that apply pressure to the head. They are cheaper versatile and adaptable to different restraint needs, such as a muzzle or tether. But they are less durable than leather and requires consistent tension to remain secure.
Rope vs Tether
When it comes to controlling animals, both ropes and tethers serve the same primary purpose, to provide a physical means of restraint.
Bitget
Bitget is used for basic equine handling, restraint and more importantly for training.
Choice of Dogs
Dogs were at one time were wolfs. They were used as helpers in hunting by our prehistoric man. There are over 400 dog breeds. Their behavioural traits include guarding, herding, and hunting, and personality traits such as social behaviour, boldness, and aggression.
So it is important one should choose one with social attitudes and not for hunting.
AI can be used to analyse dog breeds, such as in creating AI generated dog images or determining the top breeds in different regions. Dog breeds are diverse classifications of dogs, each with specific physical and temperamental traits, which are categorised by kennel clubs like the American Kennel Club (AKC) into groups like working, herding and sporting.
What are Dog Breeds?
A dog breed is a particular type of dog with a common set of heritable characteristics and a recognised breed standard, often set by a kennel club. Kennel clubs, such as the American Kennel Club (AKC), group breeds based on their original purpose, such as working, herding, sporting, hound, terrier, toy and non sporting groups.
The breeds are diverse.
There are over 400 recognised dog breeds, each with unique traits developed through selective breeding for specific functions or appearances. Because of their diversity it is becoming useful AI generated information to choose a dog breed. AI can be used to generate images of different dog breeds or even combinations of breeds, like the AI generated breeds. AI tools can analyse data on dog breeds, for example, to determine the most popular breeds in different state or region. AI can process information to identify trending dog breeds and popularity of a particular breed which are useful for dog breeder.
Dog Breeding
Those who breed dogs for sale are typically called dog breeders or in the case of unethical operations, puppy farmers or puppy mills. A dog breeder is anyone who raises and cares for dogs with the intent to produce and sell puppies. Puppy farmers are a specific type of unscrupulous breeder that prioritises the profit over the welfare of the animals.
Dog Breeder
A person who raises and cares for dogs, including breeding and training them for sale. An unethical breeder that keeps parent animals in poor conditions and repeatedly breeds them for profit, often with little regard for the health of the puppies health their well being is a conduct unbecoming. Unscrupulous breeders are known to keep parent animals and their offspring in poor conditions, leading to health problems and potential diseases for the puppies. The cruelty to this animal the so called man’s best friend goes far beyond the stray dog category and that is why I call “Metta Meditation” to all beings is the fundamental principle.
Becoming a vegetarian is the beginning of this principle of universality of surfeiting of all beings. The escape and emancipation is theDhammaPrinciple. Even the attachment to this friendly species may be a hindrance to the wayfarer or the will for path entry. There is a caveat here for me. I have a few of my friends and all my dog friends a bounden due to make them see the pathway. So, I am going to delay my path entry, until I see all of them and say “Good Bye” at least once. That is the bottom line for my dog stories.
Chapter 06
Virtual Email Facility
Casual look at the interpretation of this dream is bizarre but if one applies modern scientific tenor, something radical is emerging with genome project well in advance now.
1. Man and many advanced animals have 50 cell cycles in their life time.
2. About 42 to 45 are consumed by about 15 years of age.
3. There is a condition calledprogeria where babies are born in advanced stage of cell cycle and rapidly age and die young.
4. If we take a somatocyte from a case of this conditionwith a mutated genome,one can modulate few more cell cycles to be advanced by culturing under correct conditions with sexual maturation and bald head.
Presto!
The conditioned mentioned byMaha Brahma is satisfied. I believe aliens who visit us have already perfected this method for their scientific studies in space and using them as guinea pigs for their experiments. They do not have to hijack humans now. Only a few cells are all that is necessary. They probably have more advanced culturing methods in space.
There is very interesting genetic analysis that is emerging in America now.
They are studying Gorilla and us the humans and found what is missing in us in evolution.
Gorillas have 48 chromosomes and we have 46.
We have lost a certain receptor for androgen, 3 to 5 million year ago. When that happened the phallus (penis) became smaller (of the human) and the brain became bigger.
Interestingly, the acquisition of language capability came some millions years later.
We have a living record of a child in the current century (in this country) sayingMahinda Mama in an election rally, even before saying da da or ma ma. I believe, he correct conditions are there in some gifted children to learn all three languages even before preschool.
There will be professors earning million of rupees employed by IMF with sexual precocity, economic vision and foreign language capability including Sinhala even before five years old. Then, we do not need a 62 year prostatic and prostrate old man to run the IMF.
Only good thing about this precocious man is that the penis of this genius is very small and the brain is very large and any unlawful sex act even violent, causes minimal damage even to a virgin. We have to redefine the criminal law then with an exception to geniuses employed by IMF to enjoy their short life of may be 7 years and bit more.
American legislators won't be able to send them to gallows for 25 years.
One day in prison cell is OK without opposite sex in a nearby cell.
Cell Cycles, Cell Divisions and Prison Cells have to be different, then.
I hope I would be gone by then since in my geriatric age there is no place for me except in high heaven, advising theMaha's Assistant to reverse the trend and bring some sanity to earthlings, especially in America, Ceylon, Russia and the guys and girls in the U.N.O.
Progeria
Progeria is a rare genetic condition, most commonly Hutchinson Gilford Progeria Syndrome (HGPS), that causes the symptoms of rapid, premature ageing to appear in childhood, though growth and development are otherwise normal. Children with progeria experience growth failure, hair loss, aged looking skin, joint abnormalities, with severe heart disease being the primary cause of death, often by the age 14.5.
A key gene mutation in the LMNA gene leads to an unstable cell nucleus and though there's no cure. Progeria is caused by a spontaneous genetic mutation in the LMNA gene, which produces the lamin A protein that holds the cell nucleus together. This mutation leads to an unstable cell nucleus, which causes cells to age prematurely. Children often look normal at birth, but then develop a characteristic look including hair loss including eyebrows and eyelashes, thin lips, a small jaw, and prominent eyes. Slow growth and failure to gain weight are common. The skin becomes thin, wrinkled and may show underlying veins. Stiff joints, joint abnormalities, and hip dislocation can occur. Premature hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis) begins in childhood, leading to a high risk of heart attacks and strokes. This is he is the main cause of death, as the accelerated ageing affects the arteries, leading to heart failure. The average life expectancy for children with HGPS is around 14.5 years.
Chapter 07
Do Dogs Dream = D.D.D?
The next question is, if they do, can you detect when your dog dreams?
I am convinced that my dog dreams as well as me when on holidays.
In my case I dream on working days not on holidays. If I dream on a holiday I consider myself sick or going to be sick. So make sure that you do not dream on holidays otherwise it will make your next day of holiday a misery.
In actual fact, on holidays we sleep less, do more things (as far as I am concerned) and enjoy life more. We do not have to dream lies for the working when on is on holidays make better use of your holiday.
In any case holiday is dream come true so act on your instinct.
I have cut paste the probable answer/s to above but let me tell my story.
Our prolong strike (please note, I made a resolution not to write anything to amuse the readers who were quite a number then, during this period-you are getting small sample that would have come if I was working) made me to observe my dog and it was welcome company to me who was bored to death.
To begin with we synchronised our sleep’.
My dreams became less and less.
I was sleeping a lot and started getting up at bizarre times when my dog was fast sleep.
Fearing I disturb his sleep, I stealthily get out of my bed and do something mundane, like sorting out my books or files or photographs.
Then I quickly lost interested in them and one day, started watching my dog who was well into its sleep.
This became a habit.
He gets into postures which were its puppy days and happy days and in complete meditative relaxation.
He does not get up at these times and enjoy them.
I am convinced he dreams well when I am on holiday without any E.E.G. records. So if you are bored try watching your dog and try to identify the times he or she dreams.
I believe dogs to need a good dose of happy dreams.
Well there another question to wind this up.
What is the single most common dream in Ceylon?
My survey results says, every Ceylonese dreams of becoming the president of the country.
Then he gets up happy but when he realises that it was a dream he is frightened to death.
He knows only one can become a president and that is also indefinitely and he does not have a fighting chance even in a dream.
He/She does not tell dream even to the respective spouse.
Please do not tell this to the president.
If you do so, I am sure it will be gazetted soon “dreaming is prohibited”.
Read the article below if you have time.
Do Dogs Dream?
Dogs dream like humans and about similar things.
Published on October 28, 2010 by Stanley Coren,
Ph.D., F.R.S.C. in Canine Corner
Many people believe that dogs do dream. Most dog owners have noticed that at various times during their sleep, some dogs may quiver, make leg twitches or may even growl or snap at some sleep-created phantom, giving the impression that they are dreaming about something. At the structural level, the brains of dogs are similar to those of humans. Also, during sleep the brain wave patterns of dogs are similar that of people, and go through the same stages of electrical activity observed in humans, all of which is consistent with the idea that dogs are dreaming.
Actually if dogs didn't dream this would be a much greater surprise given that recent evidence suggests that animals that are simpler and less intelligent than dogs seem to dream. Matthew Wilson and Kenway Louie of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have evidence that the brains of sleeping rats are functioning in a way that irresistibly suggests dreaming. Much of the dreaming that you do at night is associated with the activities that you engaged in that day. The same seems to be the case in rats. Thus if a rat ran a complex maze during the day he might be expected to dream about it at night. While a rat was awake and learning the maze, electrical recordings were taken from its hippocampus (an area of the brain associated with memory formation and storage). Researchers found that some of these electrical patterns were quite specific and identifiable depending upon what the rat was doing. Later, when the rats were asleep and their brain waves indicated that they had entered the stage where humans normally dream, these same patterns of brain waves appeared. In fact the patterns were so clear and specific that the researchers were able to tell where in the maze the rat would be if it were awake, and whether it would be moving or standing still. Wilson cautiously described the results, saying, "The animal is certainly recalling memories of those events as they occurred during the awake state, and it is doing so during dream sleep and that's just what people do when they dream."
Find a Therapist
Since a dog's brain is more complex and shows the same electrical sequences, it is reasonable to assume that dogs are dreaming, as well. There is also evidence that they dream about common dog activities. This kind of research takes advantage of the fact that there is a special structure in the brain stem (the pons) that keeps all of us from acting out our dreams. When scientists removed or inactivated the part of the brain that suppresses acting out of dreams in dogs, they observed that they began to move around, despite the fact that electrical recordings of their brains indicated that the dogs were still fast asleep. The dogs only started to move when the brain entered that stage of sleep associated with dreaming. During the course of a dream episode these dogs actually began to execute the actions that they were performing in their dreams. Thus researchers found that a dreaming pointer may immediately start searching for game and may even go on point, a sleeping Springer Spaniel may flush an imaginary bird in his dreams, while a dreaming Doberman pincher may pick a fight with a dream burglar.
It is really quite easy to determine when your dog is dreaming without resorting to brain surgery or electrical recordings. All that you have to do is to watch him from the time he starts to doze off. As the dog's sleep becomes deeper his breathing will become more regular. After a period of about 20 minutes for an average-sized dog his first dream should start. You will recognize the change because his breathing will become shallow and irregular. There may be odd muscle twitches, and you can even see the dog's eyes moving behind its closed lids if you look closely enough. The eyes are moving because the dog is actually looking at the dream images as if they were real images of the world. These eye movements are most characteristic of dreaming sleep. When human beings are awakened during this rapid eye movement or REM sleep phase, they virtually always report that they were dreaming.
I recently received a letter from Joseph Baker, which seems to confirm the idea of dogs having dreams about their everyday activities. I have taken the liberty of reproducing part of it here.
"I have an anecdote that you may find interesting, however it requires some back story. About three years ago I heard a story on the radio about a cognitive scientist who was trying to understand sleep and dreams. He had a hypothesis describing how sensory memories replay themselves during early REM sleep. The study he published had subjects play Tetris [a computer game where you try to line up falling blocks of various colors] and then report whether or not they saw the little Tetris bricks in their dreams. This stuck with me because the previous night I had very vivid dreams involving a hike I had been on earlier. I could feel the snow and smell the air as though it were real.
"This brings me to my dog. Goober is a basenji, and like many basenjis he hates water and being bathed. As soon as my wife finishes bathing him he bolts out of the bathroom door, finds me, and tries to hide behind me or under me. So one day Goober was forced to be cleaned and underwent his ritual of hiding behind me. Later that night he was sleep running. He awoke with a start, and then bolted to my location to hide under my legs. This was very awkward as I was sitting on the toilet at the time. I believe that he was dreaming, and I believe that he was dreaming about having a bath. I believe this because he only engages in this behavior when a bath is involved."
Well Joe, I believe that there are at least two psychologists at MIT who would agree with you.
Chapter 08
Dog Talks and Banker’s Dream
This story was long overdue.
This I extracted from a Dog Banker or more or less from a banker’s dog.
I went to ask for an overdraft facility to pay my Telephone, Electricity and Water bills for the month of December from a commercial bank. It was a Friday and I went very early, even before the bank was open.
You know, in spite of many banks and many facilities one has to wait in the queue to get your own money.
But, if one has to get money from the bank, one has to wait longer in the queue.
Then the questions they ask before extending whatever the facility they release you on bail like procedure, I wish I am dead and on a different planet.
Because I was early, I had nothing else but to watch the procedure of opening the bank diligently.
There was a big security guard wearing a big beard.
The officer of a lower rank who comes first was not there yet.
When I entered, dog had a little sniff at me and ignored me as nothing of worth and he knew at a glance I was not a bank thief.
Mind you these dogs are trained to detect thieves and rich people only.
I did fall into neither.
The dog look tired a bit restless, profusely salivating and the security guard looked obviously in a panic mode.
The officer of a lower rank did come and immediately followed by the manager of the bank.
Anyway, I knew the manager very well and he promptly extended the credit facility and I was off on the street in a flash having exchanged Christmas and New Year greetings.
He even told me that bank officers are the only ones who never get greeting cards or chocolates.
But my scientific observation even though brief was the reason for the discovery of this story, I am going to tell you.
During our industrial action I developed a little gadget using Raspberry Pi, the latest IT gadget on ARM base (not Microsoft fortunately) on the market, one can modify to one’s own taste from media centre to a server utility.
I decided to record dogs’ dreams and their talks.
Since, the ARM is open source, I have decided not to apply for any industry award as the creation of this century.
Reason being, if we record all what dogs talk about bankers, economic experts and politicians, I will be executed by a special decree.
You will get a rare glimpse of only a randomly random but aberrant sample of it.
This gadget works only a short wireless distance but a considerable distance over frequencies what dogs can detect but humans cannot.
If I had used wireless distance, I had to go behind dogs and no dog will relate any story privy to them, if I follow them on street talks, fearing their extinction from this planet.
Dogs talks are honest and their dreams are very simple unlike our politicians, fortunately.
I set up a big antenna covering my sphere of activity and the few banks around me. I had to scan over about a week to get a proper story, since there were much mundane stories from Paraya dogs talking about their meagre supply in dustbins and there were only a few Bank Dogs.
Finally, I got hold over the dog who belonged to this particular bank strangely on street with another Paraya dog.
It was an illuminating story.
The Paraya started the dog talk.
Are you on holiday?
Nope.
You will be sacked from your job know?
I will be, if I do not find my girl friend.
Why?
I put her as my replacement or decoy and she did not turn up today.
That is why I am on the street, can you help me?
NO PROBLEM.
Can you describe the one, I have many girl friends which I have lost count of.
How many you have.
One regular and only a few others since I cannot get leave from duty to roam about.
Then, he said I know this particular one, she is not a Paraya variety anyway but cross between pedigree and Paraya.
I will take you to her but what is around your neck?
It does not look like dog collar or a belt but a necklace.
I do not see bankers wearing artificial metal except gold nowadays with gold prices sky high!
No it is not a necklace but security keys of the bank.
I am taking them to my girl friend and she delivers it to the guard and both of are safe then.
It is very naughty know, the bank is at risk know?
Not as long as the keys are with dogs.
It is the humans one cannot trust.
I am also sure that he will not sleep in his post till he finds the keys.
When I am there. he sleeps and I am doing a service to my master, the bank by this method.
She goes there first and get half of my meal and I immediately follow after his anger towards me had disappeared.
You are very brainy know?
That is how I am a Bank Dog.
I must tell you I have edited a lot of this story since getting a scanned story is difficult since the dogs are always on the move and they go through various routes with many obstacles including magnetic devices installed.
It is not like reading a Sunday paper where from editorial to news to features are doctored.
Then I have to convert the frequencies in them to analogue and word form and many traces are lost and lot of pauses.
Unlike human dogs do not keep on talking and they do other things in between which we are not familiar with.
I will detour here and few lines on bankers dreams which are retold by dogs while listening to their conversations after heavy drinks.
The dream are not like my dreams and no need to send them to Maha for interpretations.
They are very simple and only a very few.
One dream is becoming a director of a bank and not a bank officer when one does not have to work.
Other is getting a post in a foreign bank.
They are so real they cannot be categorised as real dreams.
Now I will give a summary form the way a bank security guard works from data analysed from Raspberry Pi modified.
1. They are very good sleeping on duty hours like most of our security guards on duty.
2. They feed the dog half the quota due for the dog.
The better half he eats. Their food is no better than dog food anyway.
3. He buys liqueur from the saved money since their pay is no better.
4. Then he goes to sleep while the dog half hungry does his part of the job.
5. That is why they devised a plot to get out of the boredom but make sure that the friend dog stays on guard till the official dog returns after roaming.
The guard who is drunk and doped could not say who is his dog or who the Paraya dog except when he/she is awake.
This is the way both Paraya dogs and pedigree dogs coexist on this small state where money is everything and duty is not.
Chapter 09
Devil Woman
I was down with flu and I had hundreds of dreams but unfortunately this is one of the few I can remember. The fever was mild but the relative humidity (my hydrometer reading was over 80% - without rain) was very high to drive me mad with discomfort.
When the relative humidity is high one does not perspire as much as when it is low and if one has fever on top of it, the discomfort is magnified many a times.
I am not saying it is good for dreaming.
Quite the opposite.
One gets up every few minutes, even before the full dream is over and one remembers bits and pieces of jumbled dreams. That make me remember them since getting back to sleep again is an ordeal due to the discomfort that the warm ambience causes.
I am one who loves warm atmosphere but not with very high humidity.
I cannot believe how the cricketers in the Asian subcontinent cope with this humidity, leave alone Europeans. It is strange some part of New Zealand known for heavy rain is having droughts.
I believe the global warming is taking it shape whether we like it or not.
Sorry for the preamble.
The Dream
I was on my way to a village in a very remote place. I came across a steep hill on the other side which appeared to be a cliff. The foot path up was on the rock which appeared slippery due to rain water dripping down.
On the bottom of the hill there were few onlookers looking up in amazement to see a young mother climbing the cliff with two children one in her hand. In a glace without any hesitation (dressed in footwear not suitable for slippery rock and a heavy James Bond case in hand), I moved up in case, if the mother needed help, that I could volunteer.
I suppose I wanted play James Bond in this remote village.
Very ambitious intent.
In couple of fast steps I reached up to where the woman has just got the older child barely off the difficult part the hill and was about to push herself up balancing her child in her hand.
I asked her whether I could help her.
But annoyed, in a loud voice she said NO.
By this time I was balancing on one foot not able to go forward or stop myself slipping down.
I had only one option slip down ungracefully to the loud laughter of the onlookers. I may have dropped my suitcase too but woke up with shame.
I was very happy it was a dream.
I immediately sat in front of my computer and emailed it to Maha, the Greatest of all Gods.
He replied in kind with his new global, No Battery Tablet, which is supposed to be bigger than the New Airport in Ceylon.
I thanked him profusely for his support that the inauguration went on smoothly with his divine help.
He said he loves anything airborne, even a weather balloon and Airbus was his high priority for Ceylon.
He also said he would standby with all his might for a few more air planes.
Then I asked him what about the carbon footprint.
Don’t be ridiculous how can a few airbuses will change the world?
That was unexpected not knowing what to say, I retorted, what about the collapse of our economy and debt crisis.
I thought they were play tools like in heaven and did not cost like a Heavenly Jelly Bean.
It is quite the contrary Sir.
I am sorry
I did not know that.
I am not an economist and we do not have a treasury or finance minister in heaven, he said.
What about the cash in heaven.
There is no cash here but eternal goodwill.
Is that so?
So rich people will have no chance of buying a ticket to heaven.
NOWAY as long as I am the BOSS.
Interpretation.
Did you really dream it?
You were very stupid know.
I was incapacitated Sir.
I came down to my bottom dollar of EGO and down to earth instantaneously, Sir.
Well good then.
This interpretation is in three parts.
Why?
Will you wait for a while.
Part I
You did not know that woman was devil.
Wana-mohinie?
Wana-mohinie has only one child, I am told.
She is worse.
She will destroy your image first.
Then she will destroy your stature.
Thirdly she will eat you up live.
That is why you terminated the dream.
Yes.
Part II
Any sensible person in this world should not volunteer any help in Ceylon, even in a village and the UNO is not excluded.
If you tried to do that she would drop the child in her hand. The onlookers will kill you and this devil woman would not sweat a bit for her catch.
But this is a Buddhist country know?
How can that happen?
Don’t you know some of the guys supportingBodu Balawageya are devil’s incarnations?
Those fellows will even represent as lawyers for the devil in defence of their case.
I was dumbfounded.
Part III
The wise decision would have been for you to wait at the bottom till this woman safely crossed over to the other side.
But she would not cross but would linger and the onlookers will choose you to help her.
But none of this happened and she did cross to the other side, you know.
That is because while you slipped down you dropped the bag with dollars.
The onlookers killed each other for the few dollars.
She went to call the other devil guys / girls for the feast.
Maha disappeared quickly saying ”Devils always win on earth specially in Ceylon”.
Chapter 10
Dog Barking
This was unusually short but scary dream.
I was woken up late afternoon at 3 P.M. by the dog barking, for me to open the door for my wife who had gone to see her doctor.
The flu that was going around in our house was not a total disaster as far as I was concerned. I was getting a big dose of dreams but unfortunately, I can remember only a few.
The plight or the outcome of the above dream could have been the same, if the dog did not intervene in the thick of it, which is not his usual habit anyway.
I was the master of ceremony at a wedding reception. I was (unfortunately) invited to be one of the witnesses of the registration of the marriage.
I have the habit of refusing to do that (I wish I could have the option to refuse my actual ceremony, now that I am already writing a book on Myth, Mirage and Marriage for young ones who may or may not embark on this feat on an Airbus in Ceylonese Airspace.
It looks like all Sri-Lankan flights are like Wedding on high space or stratosphere anyway.
I cannot remember whether I was appearing for the bride or the bridegroom.
It does not matter.
I am going to send this toMaha the, Greatest and I will get those minor details which I cannot remember from him, in the body of the interpretation.
I will be brief here since the interpretation fromMaha was very, very long and interesting.
As as usual, I was on site, on time and it did not look like a Airbus but a Skyscraper of many flights and almost touching the stratosphere and I was feeling dizzy having reached the dizzy heights.
I went to the toilet in case, I throw my breakfast on the dancing floor and had a very light touch up of my personality and got seated on an easy chair with panoramic view (of all the invitees entering) of the lobby.
The idea was to take cover, if any of my doctor friends or enemies (mainly politicians in low offices since they are jealous, I occupy one of their tasks; for me it is no different whether I am signing a birth certificate, death certificate or a report of an not treatable cancer) would join the party.
I was an early bird and little while later the registrar came with a commando outfit giving him protection.
I thought to myself, this must be wedding of a son or daughter of a commanding officer.
Then an Imam came with his retinue which looked liked a guerilla outfit and took up the position covering him from all directions.
He had a book which looked like Quran in his hand.
The outfit had something like machetes or similar ancient battle outfits. I was not sure whether they were protecting the Quran, the Imam or both.
I had a second look to see whether he was our veteran Fousi but he did not look liked him.
Little later an old Pusari came in with an outfit which looked no different from LTTE commando outfit in combat.
They were holding a banana leaf over his head and I could not see his face.
By this time I was feeling the thump in my heart wondering whether I landed on the wrong footage.
Then, in a little while a personality who looked liked the Pope came in and he had Royal Air Force cover.
He was the only one who came in with his own seat which looked like an inclined flat boat with three rockets like structures in front.
The bottom had a hovercraft type of cushion and it looked amazingly modern outfit, fit for a modern Pope.
The air force was in full attention not at ease.
Then a tiny chap came in with a huge elephantine wardrobe squarish, suitable for a library and it had four locks on all four sides but the guy did not have the keys in his hand but a remote control to control the wheels and a something similar to a tablet computer console.
Then, after some delay a Buddhist monk came in with a laptop in his hand and with no escort.
He also had a remote control which he pointed to the huge wardrobe and opened and closed each one of the locks as if he was checking integrity by a remote control and took up a high seat.
The look of him was very reassuring and I felt the pump in my heart easing off almost to a stall or standstill.
With all this entrees almost 50% of the floor was occupied and little by little invitees arrived filling the vacant seats.
Then of course before I could witness the arrival of the bride and the bridegroom, I was woken up and missed the full scenario.
I have to sent this toMaha for him to fill in the blanks in my memory and the appropriate interpretation and to reveal the missing second half of the dream.
As usual theMaha, the Greatest of allGodsresponded almost instantly.
Why are you still sweating?
I said I had a thump in the heart which eased off with the arrival of the monk but with the global warming in full flight, the sweat does not dry up easily.
I asked him was it a funeral or a wedding.
A wedding, my boy.
I was there to witness the registration, wasn’t I?
Wrong.
I was there to see that the proceeding went on smoothly.
No.
I was on official duty.
Sort of.
I had to be there to examine the putative couple for their correct sex.
No, why?,Maha asked.
Now these guys wearUnisex Jeans, sometime it is difficult to say one is a boy or a girl.
Not like good old days.
Why on hell I was there?
It looked like hell anyway.
You were there to take blood samples.
To check the bride pregnant or not?
Urine sample would do it know, and a technician can do that without a doctor.
Why me?
You know this story is futuristic like all your previous ones.
There is a new wedding protocol.
By testing Blood?
I don’‘t get you.
It is called an ethnicity test.
Each ethnic group has to have a blood test and depending on the result the wedding ceremony takes its course.
That is why all the dignitaries are there.
When one announces the result there is the very drawn out deliberation to fit the guy and the girl into the ethnic protocol.
This is Greek to me.
Can you tell me you are pure Sinhala.
No sir.
Not a Tamil or Muslim.
No.
You don’t have Caucasian blood?No.
Why?
We are a mixed race Sir, one cannot say by a blood test that one is Sinhala or Tamil and only by registration, descent and convention we are grouped to an ethnic group, Sir.
That is the point.
Now learned geneticist had worked out a formula for the race in Ceylon.
It goes like this.
1. A Muslim = 80% Sinhala blood + 10 Tamil blood + 10% Arabian or Caucasian
2. A Tamil = 60% Tamil blood + 30% Sinhala blood + 10 Arabic or Caucasian
3. A Sinhala man or woman = 30% Sinhala + 30 Tamil + 30 Muslim + 10 unknown, perhaps Caucasian in origin.
4. A Burgher man or woman = 85% Sinhala + 5% Tamil + 5% Muslim + 5% Caucasian
You mean to say Burghers (85%) and Muslim (80%) have more Sinhala blood.
Yes they have, they did not bring females when they settled first and they had several wives (5 for Muslims and 100 for Caucasians) and their male genes were diluted by 70% to almost 90%.
That is a scientifically establish fact, now.
What all this got to do with my participation at the wedding ceremony.
The result is anybody’s guess at the time of registration.
You have to look at the blood result and make a value judgement.
It is easy know?
One looks at the above formula and decide and a clerical staff can do that know?
Why a doctor involved?
Wait a minute.
That is a working formula to guide a doctor but not foolproof or full proof and nobody tested from the time of the testing began had fitted exactly into any of the four categories and almost 99% were borderline cases.
Just, touch and go!
It is hair splitting and sometimes brain splitting exercise.
You know the little guy who came in.
He is a statistician.
He does some statistics and fit the guy or girl in the best fit Bell’s Curve and then decide how much skewed and on the skew score decides his or her ethnic group.
Sometimes they have to average the two scores, like the Z-Score average made by the Department of Education and then the panel sit together and decide how much Muslim, how much Sinhala, Tamil or Burgher traditions are to be enacted and incorporated in the ceremony.
Then, the Buddhist monk will decide in which book it should be registered.
Why is that?
The panel is the best for that decision, know.
When this ceremony is being held, the percentage of Buddhists have fallen to the lowest.
His duty is to increase the number of Sinhala Buddhists, so that ethnic harmony is maintained and a steady stream of guys and girls are allowed to enter theSasana.
I do not understand.
The percentage dropped since most of the Buddhists have left the home front and joined theSasana, like the Gautama Buddha and attainedNibbana,the Supreme.
The rest learned various foreign languages and went abroad on propagatingBuddhism in theWest and never returned to the motherland like an average Ceylonese.
The SinhalaBuddhist population went down drastically due to their own good nature and goodwill.
The real threat is to theBuddha Sasana,
Buddhists monk cannot reverse his decision to enter the lay life and procreate.
You meant to say making young ones to become a monks is a very bad idea.
Not at all, since majority will attainNibbana in one go, it is good forBuddhism.
It may be bad for heaven but on earth, by using the above formula and the panel discussion a certain quota is vested on SinhalaBuddha Sasana.
But, I thought, theBuddha Sasana is for everybody and their is no race attached to it.
That never works on Earth or Ceylon, one has to have a political strategy, just to preserve pureTheravadaor anyVada that may arise on earth.
Good Bye.
See you soon with another dream.
Chapter 11
Another Dream of Holy Water
Part of this is a dream and part of it is not a dream but I won’t tell which is which, one has to figure out which is which.
Let me dish it out.
There was a hermit levitating on a T-Junction in this country.
Which part of the country is a top secret (destination) only the defence establishment knows it.
Denomination of the hermit one has to guess and by higher order decree I am not supposed to declare (this order is not from Maha Brahma the Greatest).
This hermit is blind but has a wonderful ear for gossip.
Fortunately the story starts with a rabbit.
He was running and in full flight to escape from a funny fox called Lyon Fox of international repute.
This fox is four legged and certainly not two legged variety one sees in our parliament.
He was on full flight and suddenly came across the blind hermit sitting right across his path at the T-Junction.
He took a giant leap and had a direct spray of his number 1 on the face of the hermit in meditation mode.
A full blown watery paint packed with androids which one does not need even a brush to paint.
Jet spray of the rabbit did it.
Oh, Holy Water said the hermit.
What nonsense, this hermit must be totally blind and then the rabbit said loudly, “the fox won’t catch not even my Ata Deaka” and thought to himself, I am lucky this hermit is blind lest he might reroute the fox in my direction.
In a little later, the fox came in fully exhausted put his Ferrodo Brake in front of the hermit and politely asked the hermit did you see a rabbit coming this way?
I wouldn’t know but what I know is that he is a male, the hermit replied.
What a revelation fox talked to himself and he sprayed his landmark paint on the hand of the hermit that was stretching downward (pointing to earth and not to right or left) expecting it to direct in the direction of the way the rabbit took.
The hermit said Oh, Holy Water for the second time, what a a lucky day for me in meditation.
The hermit took a little bit of “not so holy water” from the other hand and applied on his top thinking that in no time he will be in Jhana or Trance state.
Fox was bemused and looked up and sniffed to realise that the rabbit's urine was on the hermit’s face and not on the ground for him to trace the path of the rabbit.
He moved up confused not knowing that the hermit was blind or gone mad due to the scorching heat (due to global warming).
Then when the hermit was almost in trance state a very prominent Imam came with his hat in his hand and asked the hermit “could you hide my hat for a few minutes”.
Why should I hide your hat I probably would wear it and it is very hot know?
That is for you to decide and please be discreet about it.
Why?
There is a Buddhist monk and an army deserter is coming after me.
Why?
Simply because I am wearing this hat.
What will happen if I wear it for YOU.
I would not know but please be discreet about it.
Have you got Holy Water with you?
I had two incidents of “Holy Water, sprayed on my face and hand and if I get the third dose of Holy Water, I might even attain a higher level of meditation.
We are not supposed to drink Holy Water but you may ask the army deserter who is coming this way and he took his leave and entered the path which the fox took.
Then the army deserter came in and stopped at the T-Junction and asked the hermit directing his bayonet up “did you see a man wearing a hat”.
He said no.
Don’t con?
I am blind but he did come this way and left very quickly.
I see.
Shall I give you the HAT?
What HAT?
The hat he was wearing?
I do not want his hat but I want the man, the army deserter replied.
As he was leaving, the hermit asked for Holy Water and the ex-army man, said.
No problem, Sir, here is the pouch.
You can have all of it.
Thank you Sir, the hermit said.
Before he could sip a bit of the Holy Water, the monk with his saffron cloth tugged up came in.
Did you see a man wearing a HAT?
I would not know?
You Cheat said the monk and proceeded up.
As he was leaving the hermit said,
If you take the path the army deserter took you will have Non Halal Meat.
If you take the path the man without a HAT went, you are sure to get Halal Meat.
Confused the monk took the path which the army deserter took.
Then after a while a Catholic Priest came in looking for his Holy Water.
He stopped at the T-Junction.
Took his hat off.
Exchanged pleasantries and said he was coming after the ex-army man but he could not keep pace with him.
Which direction did he go.
I would not know?
But I can give you the Holy Water and the Pouch with the Inscribed (USA) Bottle.
How come?
He told him it was a very successful Meditation Day and he had Holy Water for the third time.
That calls for celebrations, said the priest.
They consumed what was left of the Holy Water and in a little while both of them were in high heaven without any meditative effort.
They parted in a little while and the Catholic Priest thank the hermit profusely for the company and the lost and found inscribed HOLY bottle.
In parting he said I would have lost the Diocese if I did not replace it by next Sunday.
No problem, said the hermit and if you drop in this way please bring some more Holy Water and I do not care in which bottle it comes in.
No problem said the Catholic Priest, shall I bring Ata Atack to go with it.
THANK YOU.
PS.
This I did not want to send it to Maha Brahma but with some hindsight, I did send it for his perusal.
For the first time I had a barrage of questions from him and less of a interpretation.
Questions were;
1. What is this Halal?
2. Why do you wear a hat?
3. What is holy water?
4. What is Ata Deaka?
5. What is Ata Ata?
6. What is inscription?
7. What is T-junction?
8. What is Ferrodo Brake?
9. What is diocese
10.What is Holy Bottle?
And many more mundane questions.
This is the first time I got such a audience fromMaha the Greatest.
I decided to include the answers in my book, the third edition of Dreams and not in a blog post.
Only problem is I still have not found a proper cover photograph for the book. After a little soul searching, I decided to put a photo of a Chameleon.
That foots the bill in my belief, since as a Sri-Lankan I have to change my colour instantly depending on to whom I relate my day to day problems.
I am going to wear several hats (not Prof De Bono's Hats) with multi-coloured layers (Skins) and shed layer by layer, like what reptiles do.
Shedding a layer of skin from time to time.
Chapter 12
This dream was bit strange.
I was on holiday (not New Year) and was in strange place which to me was a nature reserve.
I do not know (this is a true dream not made up) whether I was in Yala, Wasgamuwa or Wilpattu. I had never been there and when I was proceeding, by strange coincidence I met one of my colleagues (he was true to life and I do not want to discover his identity and let me say he was our head of the department, I work.
He was dazed, looked as if he was pretty drunk and could not help me finding my way toward the nature reserve but he was demanding help from me, instead. Knowing the chappy very well who enjoys a hard drink I had no option but to help him.
He asked me to find a urine bottle that he had collected and test it for alcohol.
He wanted to prove that he was not drunk and innocent. I said, do not be stupid do not give urine for testing one can put something to it like what they do it when testing sports people, especially Sri-Lankan.
Besides, it is not the done thing for alcohol
He said, it is for drugs not alcohol.
I said wait a while till the effect of drug or alcohol to wear off and offer a sample of blood.
This is not a city, the periphery of the nature reserve and one can wait till one reaches a civilised station to test. I could not convince him and he demanded I should find the urine bottle.
I asked where?
Then he pointed out to a place where I found a bottle which looked ancient artefact and was about to hand over the specimen and I was woken up.
Actually, I woke up because of the fire crackers and it was auspicious time for lighting the hearth.
I said to myself, it is very auspicious time for my dreams and my wife would do the necessary preparation and dropped to sleep instantaneously.
My dog was hovering with fear of fire crackers and I directed him under my bed. Before, I could bat an eyelid I was in another dream mode.
This part had no relationship to the first part.
That’s what I thought.
It was very brief.
I saw a she elephant shot dead.
Then before she died she delivered her baby in good condition and took her last breath. By some strange coincidence there was another nursing elephant mother nearby who took care of the placenta and the baby.
Having done obstetrics in my life delivery of a baby was no surprise but seeing an elephant baby coming out to this world was an exciting episode even in my dream. There was no screaming, grunts or panic panting, as when women were delivering but she was in excruciating pain of the bullet wound that had pierced the chest not the belly fortunately.
I was woken up angry.
I immediately posted it toMaha Brahma since I also has a request for a partner for the delinquent swift in our little garden.
He responded immediately.
Why were you so angry?
Did the bank officer gave you a call on the New Year Day asking you to pay the debts?
How is your new telephone extension?
How did you know, I asked?
I keep an eye on you these days and you were bit liberal on your cash?
Weren’t you?
How do you know?
Every time you do a good thing, I get a little tinkle here.
That is news to me.
It was nice of you to give a digital radio with a rechargeable battery to your blind friend. I got a thump here and he was profusely thanking me, instead of you.
Did he?
YES.
Why did he, did not thank me?
Did he think that I was a god.
Sort of.
I was angry that a she elephant pregnant was shot at.
Can this happen in this blessed land?
YES all the time, he said.
I got more worked up.
Do not be so angry.This is new year time, know.I said I get worked up more on new year time.
Why?
Don’t you read my blog post about peanuts and cashew nuts.
But cashew nut are cheap in heaven, know.
But they are very expensive, here.
I bought a sample for a cake my daughter made and she did not put them on, since, she told me it was not enough to fill the cake.
I asked her what happened to cashew?
I ate them all, she said.
Did you give some to Mallie.
YES.
Not only cashew everything is expensive and this the time every household is hot with anger and they attribute it to things like chillies (as a scapegoat).
Even chillies are expansive.
I know all this but I was pulling your leg.
How did your new year go by.
It took the whole day for me to clean up my fish tanks.
This time only a few fish died due to warm weather.
I took all the precautions.
Only problem is when it rains it pours and fills up the tanks and with the overflow, fish slip out to the cement floor and I have to catch them and put them back.
Is that so?
YES.
When it is dry, the water level goes down rapidly and I have to fill them up with water. Besides, algal bloom take over in a few days.
Then the fish die of lack of oxygen.
It is no fun looking after fish now.
Soon I am going to give up caring for fish.
Do you eat fish now.
NO.
Aren’t you interested in the interpretation?
I am but I am bit confused.
Did you have some liquor?
Not even wine this time.
Why?
I cannot afford.
Why did you ask that question?Just for my own sanity.
Why?
I had to put the two parts together and took a bit of pondering.
It was a bit of a brain teaser?
I thought you were drunk and was pulling a fast one to test my ability.
None of it.
I won’t do that even to a friend of mine.
I do not believe you.
Was it my Head?
What head, your nut?
The head of our department?
I see.
NO.
Were they connected?
YES.
How come?
Wait will you.
Can ask you a favour?
Fire on.
Can you find a partner for the little swift who has become a problem lately.
Would you mind waiting for the next season?
No problem.
Are you ready.
YES.
Interpretation
This actually happened in the pretext of Eco-tourism.
They take children from hifi families to the wilderness for shooting wild animals.
Wild boar?
NO.
Big game animals and they stay there for weeks on end and have barbecue in the jungle.
My goodness.
Is it true?
Yes.
Do they shoot elephants?
Yes if they are tuskers.
But a she elephant?
That was an accident.
When they were shooting the game this she elephant came across.
The young guy had a direct hit at her.
Who is this young Guy?
I cannot tell you due to security concern.
Highly connected guy?
How do you know?
That is what is happening usually.
Let us skip that part.
Who is that guy drugged or drunk?
He was the chief of the conservation and not your head.
Thank God for that.
I cannot work under person like him, you know who is drunk.
If my head drinks or drugged like that, I probably will leave the university.
University guys are good at drinking, know?
Yes, but one must not go beyond one’s limit. then one loses, everything including status.
This guy actually videoed the whole incident.
He was caught by the son of the big shot and drugged to cover up the episode leaking to the media.
Then he was imprisoned and charged for use and abuse of drugs.
The jungle is the production factory for drugs from 1970s know?
It is not a big deal, know?
Yes, yes but one must not catch the culprits.
Both Games, Hunting and Drug cultivation should continue under the patronage of politicians.
That cannot be done now with theBodu Balawegayain in full spring, know.
What nonsense?
It is only the front organisation, the real organisation is under full cover and protection.
What can one do?
Practically nothing unless one changes the whole administrative thing.
Those heads are only figure heads and without any power.
Real heads are politicians' sons and daughters.
They actually select headless and heedless people to run conservation and many more institutions including banks now.
Oh, I see.
What happened to the video.
It was sent to a film award in USA and got a Gold.
How come?
It was edited and dubbed to look as if they were really protecting the forest.
The son got a big post in the World Wild life conservation.
Just like Prince Philip?
YES.
But Prince Philip does not do things like that, know?
That is the work of the foreign affairs.
Prince foolishly believed the protocol.
Oh, I see.
He is bit stupid know.
WHO?
Prince Philip.
Do you think intelligent guys are born to Royal Families.
I suppose not.
The guy (Head of Conservation) became insane and he was warded and he always ask for the bottle with urine sample when a nurse comes near him.
I was not a nurse, know.
You stupid, don’t you realise this is a dream?
I suppose, I have to take your stance.
That’s all.
In fifty or less years from now, there is no fuel for airbuses and vehicles.
Most of this country go to wilderness again.
That is good know.
The guy who was involved in Fun and Games was prosecuted for all the offences he was involved in, while his father was in office and he slipped to the jungle when the father died and was living in a jungle hut.
One day, the baby elephant now big, came in and did what he did to his mother to the guy.
What Karma is that?
That is the Karma that has effect in this life.
One does not have to wait for another life.
See, YOU SOON and he disappeared
Today is Earth Day.
You can do five simple things to help we save the planet.
1. Plant a tree on your birth day and look after it for the rest of your life.
Spend a few (5) minutes each day caring for it.
If you do not have a big garden go and buy a big pot to suit your needs and at least plant a jasmine and make sure once it is mature, that you make few more sapling from it's long branches into smaller pot and give it to a friend to care for it.
It flowers almost throughout the year.
There are three varieties.
Sri-Lankan variety which is difficult to care and is a slender plant, the Indian variety and the commoner garden one (needs a big pot) which is rugged and can withstand dry warm weather better. It flowers almost every day.
2. Eat veggies
3. Walk.Do not drive your car but use the public transport.
4. Use reusable carrier bag and refuse to use polythene
5. Switch off all unnecessary bulbs in your house and change to energy saving bulbs.
Having done that make life digital and use electronic mail instead of paper mail.
Go digital and make your life paper free.
Chapter 13
This was an interesting dream episode.
I was deep into sleep and I felt like if somebody was scanning my thoughts and emotions.
It was just like the close encounters of the alien type.
Whatever, thought moment that had arisen in my brain was as it were hijacked or stolen or scanned, to see what I was thinking.
For instance, if the thought of a dog came into my mind, the scanning was not for the picture of the dog in my head but in what context (of the thought) the thought moment had arisen in my brain.
Say, fear or caring or possession.
If the thought was say about a cricket match.
It was not the current state of the match or the ball by ball commentary, the scanner was interested.
It was the state of my mind and the emotions that were aroused that were scanned.
It was not the text but the context or the intent that the scanners were looking for.
It was bit of a science fiction of Freudian type.
I got a nice feeling about it and at the same time felt this scanner was linked to a super computer.
It was not scanning individual subjects but it was global in nature and the group of people, as whole was scanned.
Say, it was scanning theBodu Bala Senaoutfit in action, it was scanning the entire lot (those upfront and those behind the scene plotters far away from the scene of action were monitored) for the motive/s stated and the ulterior motives and emotions of the designers were scanned.
Freud would have been happy if he had this super computer for his psychoanalysis. It was, as it were, all human emotions were scanned before these prospective aliens hunters or explorers landed on this planet.
The moment this alien thing came into my mind, I was woken up abruptly. In the back of my mind, I wanted to record, the first alien encounter and get the full credit to my name.
Alas, I realised that it was only dream.
This was 2.30 A.M in the morning and I went back to my sleep for further sojourn in the dream world.
I was not left stranded.
I was in the dream world again as it were the continuation of the previous episode.
This time the scene was strange but somewhat similar to a street market of the ancient type.
But on this occasion, I was the one who was doing the scanning from above, not the aliens. As it were, I was hijacked by the aliens to do their spy work without any payment.
I had volunteered to work free to strike another first by a human in a close encounter. There was a group of guys collected together and the elders were removing cloths out in the open in front of their kith and kin. They hardly had any cloths but wearing vestiges or rags, not worth wearing.
The looked like our Veddhas of ancient time.
Then in the same group some were assembling what looked like a Giant Arrow in preparation for combat.
It shape was similar to a rocket and in preparation of launching.
Then as I was scanning, at a little distance in a higher plane there was a group clad only covering the bottoms with bare tops, somewhat similar to priests in a Tamil Kovil.
They were in whites were parading up some giant steps that led, as it were to the heaven.
Then there was another group which looked like traders trading some precious metal hidden in ornamental things and leaves of medicine.
It did not look serene like the priests marching up the giant ladder to heaven.
This was like dark side of Colombo port where traders are dealing with illegal stuff.
In other word they were smuggling.
Then there was another group which gathered on the embankment of a river struggling to get on board what looked like a hastily constructed and poorly equipped ferry.
The fifth group was in a large airport with few air planes ready to board passengers, in fact thousands of fleeing subjects waiting in a queue to get on board the few seats available and a large contingent of security personnel were checking their travel documents.
Only a few were allowed to board.
Interpretation
This looked a unique situation related to Sri-Lanka.
Somewhat similar to tsunami but of a bigger magnitude.
Maha'sexplanation was mandatory.
He was quick to respond with broad smile.
You are getting more and more dreams.
Have you been eating a diet which stimulate dreams?
No, Sir.
I am having few episodes of memory loss in wakeful state.
It not a good thing in my old age.
Memory loss is an early sign of dementia.
I am training myself to remember all my dreams to activate my memory potential.
Unlike in the past I record them in short form and then try to put the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Naturally, I forget most of my dreams but send you only the interesting ones for interpretation.
I also discovered a hidden potential.
If I am in a good dream and woken up (not by you) but due to mosquitoes or some bodily irritation like wanting to go to the loo, I go back to the dream mode and continue with where I left.
Coming back to this dream it looks like the dream is related to Sri-Lanka and they are in panic mode.
Is that so.
Yes, it is.
It very simple.
It is related your scientific prediction related to global warming and small islands getting encircled by rising sea water above 4000 feet.
My goodness, my city is under 1600 feet.
Don't worry, you have long gone, this dream is well into the future.
Let me start with the fifth group.
Who are they?
They are the IMF guys and girls who have come on the final round of debt collection.
They want to vanish with all the wealth.
There was a big crowd there, Know?
Yes those who had some connection were following the IMF traits.
Then what was the fourth group.
They were the guys and power brokers aligned to the central bank and the politicians with shoddy deals.
They were trying to pilfer whatever left in the country onto their own coffers, illegally of course.
They are the counter current to IMF.
The third group is the Tamils of Indian descent trying to reach heaven in a rush.
The fourth group is the Sri-Lankan Muslims trying to flee to Middle East.
The fifth group is the modern Veddhas trying to escape into space in a space craft of their own design.
What was the outcome?
Who survived.
None except the few IMF guys who had private planes and the Indian Tamils who piled up on the steep mountains survived.
Rest succumbed when the sea water hit the land in a flash never seen in the history of this planet.
It was all a mad rush and there was no time.
It was end of the world for most of the Sri-Lankans.
If they had some airports in the hill region instead near the sea, they would have saved a few thousands.
What happened to the animals, especially the elephants.
Unfortunately, elephants had gone extinct by this time.
Birds escaped to higher ground with many of the smaller animal species.
Wilpattu and Yala were under water and there were no animals reserves left.
Can you tell me the time scale.
I am not suppose to tell you.
Why?
Then you would stop dreaming for future and he disappeared in a flash.
Chapter 14
X-File 02
This again a short dream.
I was in two places, as it were.
May be video conferencing but bit of bizarre nature.
Let me say there were at least two families not closely knit but coming to an adventurous stage of coexisting or cohabiting in a cafeteria of some kind.
All were getting ready for a lunch or dinner.
There were entrees and liquor and the like not in liberal quantities but somewhat on ration.
Let me say like a typical Sri-Lankan wedding with limited number of guests and tables and chairs.
But this scenario is much more on a miniature scale.
Minimum of two families but maximum of three in each.
It is like a match making party with two families with Kupuwa or the match maker in the middle.
Since this middle man or something similar hindrance was there neither party was making an advance but making some boring exchanges.
Not loggerhead but painfully boring.
I was getting uneasy not knowing to find an easy way out of this stalemate not any visible signs of checkmate in place.
We had not come to the main course, still on entrees and suddenly, there was something like gooey on the floor.
Bit like chocolate or “chock ice” cream scattered like a puppy (dog )shit.
Then suddenly a little girl in grubby attire came in with a broomstick and started removing the dirt on the floor.
Her dress was dirtier than the dirt on the floor and it looked very pathetic to say the least and revolting.
Then a middle aged women came in, probably her mother or her master to take her place.
She grinned and said this place is better.
If you go to a shanty in the seashore in Sri-Lanka, this is perfectly normal and this place is much better even without cleaning.
That was her way to dodge the issue at hand.
I was annoyed and woke up immediately.
I was relieved of the tension inside me.
I did not want to go back to sleep for a while.
But did not want to forget the dream altogether and penned it down immediately (before I forget) to be sent to Maha.
Interpretation
Maha was quick to respond.
Well, are you having lot of lunch parties or chocolates with liqueur inside as entrees.
No for the first and yes for the latter.
I skip my lunch now.
Why?
If I save my lunch I can feed my dog.
If I feed my dog, I have to starve a bit.
You mean to say dog food is cheap.
On the contrary.
Dog food especially imported is expensive but human food is like dog food anyway.
If there is anything by the name of human food whether imported or local it is expensive, now.
Fuel is expensive.
If you have two meals a day one has to live in the darkness without electricity to save on the fuel bill.
If you want to have some lights in the night one has to skip a meal.
Which is more expensive, fuel or food?
Both.
Even fodder is expensive, I mean the grass.
That is why milk food and cheese are expensive.
Besides my dog loves cheese, so I am going through a vicious cycle of satiety and starvation.
If my satiety is satisfied the dog suffers and my dog's satiety is satisfied, I am on starvation diet.
I prefer the latter and my belt does not to hold my trousers in hemline and slip down my bottoms.
Having seen this my tailor, jokingly said, you need a brace to hold it up.
I told him, it has come down by three inches.
He said two inches is enough to slip it down on anybody.
Now I am wondering whether to have a brace or more food or starve the dog.
Is that complicated Sri-Lankan life now.
Yes.
When I was there as a paraya or stray dog the life was very easy, know.
It is this Bulath (betel) regime know, Bath (rice) as a promise, there is enough Bulath but little Bath (rice) for satiety.
In any case when there is betel in the mouth, one cannot have rice as a delicacy.
I think Bulath is an antidote to Bath or satiety.
Aren't you interested in the interpretation?
Yes, my lord.
In time to come there going to be food scarcity in a global scale.
It is all due to global warming, droughts and floods.
When the temperature rices above 40 degrees, most of the varieties of grain will be fail to produce enough yield and gradually become extinct.
There is no time for the drought resistant strains to get establish in time.
There will be chaos, especially in the tropics.
Sri-Lanka will be like Dubai.
The regime will have to pay the debts before the grain stock.
There will be political upheavals of unprecedented scale. Parties are for only for two families and that is also when wedding are being held in secret location, never in hotels.
People who are hungry will get the smell of any party and they invariably gate crash as cleaners.
Then the mayhem follows.
That is why I stop the dream in mid stream.
Then he vanished without a trace.
Chapter 15
The Dream
Its Interpretation From Heaven
Dream seven was a short one and bit bizarre.
It was a very short one and I woke up with some anger before I could finish viewing it with normal calm and satirical intents associated with my dreams.
It was a small cubicle with two way entrance.
I saw little brat who showed a mirror to a robust money.
The monkey took the mirror in his hand and bashed over the toddlers head with glass pieces all over the place and vanished through the side entry.
Before I could summon my senses and get ready to view another came in through the same door with something in the hand like a club and bashed again on the toddler and he fell down.
I hate children being ill treated and woke up with a broomstick in my hand.
Well it was a dream and I put the broomstick where it should be and tried to memorise the story before I could forget it and go into trance of another mediocre dream like getting a fat salary or winning a lottery from heaven.
So there you are, I could remember it to send an email to Maha.
He responded quickly.
He pulled an armchair laid himself for a long interpretation.
I told it was very short one and what was the long of it.
He said good that you woke up.
You would have ended up with a heart attack in your dream.
Me, on a dream?
Second part was violent and it was all out war like LTTE and Armed Forces.
You mean to say LTTE won.
No stupid.
Then International Community who backed the terror won.
No stupid.
I was fully confused.
Don't you realize this is a futuristic dream.
What was the time scale? I asked him.
In evolutionary term it is short but significant in about 100 years.
Who are they?
Have you seen the Planet of Apes.
Yes.
Then it is somewhat similar.
There were series of nuclear accident not related to war but equipment malfunction like in Japan.
It was spread by a mutation of the Israel virus that hit Iran nuclear facility. It went around the entire world in mater of two weeks and catastrophic destruction ensued.
Millions and millions of people and animals died and the whole world was stinking with chemicals and dead bodies animals (almost all dog population except few wild dogs) and humans.
For sometime there appeared no life on earth except few plants.
Then there were two mutant species one humanoid and one ape, amongst many others.
Humanoid were short and was of toddler size.
The apes were slightly bigger and taller and were dominating the world. They pushed the humanoids to barren lands and islands where monkeys could not reach and there were no tree cover except tiny farm lands.
Why are they small?
Food in short supply and that is the way the genes have been designed to last critical periods of evolution on Earth.
Big do not survive but midgets do.
Or I see.
I saw a paper on Palaeontological evidence to say that when a catastrophe of this nature occurs the surviving animals fill the niche as it were and it is the norm.
That is a stupid idea know?
Maha was not impressed with that theory.
I asked why?
This is not a natural catastrophe but artificial and man made. It affected the entire biodiversity including plants and it does not leave ground for a niche or any opportunity for the rest.
See what happened to the entire dog population vanished.
What remained really went wild.
They went backwards in evolution and not forward like the humanoids with short stature.
Elephants were decimated like the dinosaurs.
You mean to say end of human intelligence.
I suppose so.
Then he had a very sorry and worried look.
I asked why?
Did the effect filtered to the heaven?
No.
Then?
If this happens who is going to dream for me?
Even animals and humanoid do dream know?
I said.
That is besides the point.
Their dreams are not futuristic like yours.
Give me a break and extend my agonising stay on earth?
Would you?
I may have to do that till the sun shines.
Please don't.
I will consider a proposal to the President (in his dreams) to have a say and increase your salary.
Would you?
I will try the dream method first and if it fails I will try the Dr. White's oil method.
Thank you Sir.
Then he vanished.
Chapter 16
Bank Officer who became a Monk
This is again a real dream and no real monk was involved in this racket. All Ceylonese monks are of high esteem and some may even have attained Dyana State. Of course few of them distort Dhamma for gain in this life and the dream is about such a monk.
No pun intended to Sasana.
Before that, I must say a few words about dreams and how to obtain a diplomatic passport.
I have obtained my last passport that expires at the age of 80 and I have no intention of renewing it except for putting an application for my next round of birth, as the mighty Director of Hell or Apaya.
I have three books on Dreams I, II, and III and I have detailed how I reserved a place for Apaya Directorship, in them.
I intend to write a book on sleep in due course.
This is a preview.
There are two two types of sleep.
1. Real deep sleep of 4 phases.
In one of these phases one retains memory of the subject matter of a new discipline.
Deep sleep is vital for students.
I started loosing memory due to excess of regular alcohol.
I stopped drinking and memory improved.
I have a book on "Joy of Alcohol" at Amazon for enlightenment.
Lack of sleep incurred when I was reviewing 100 Linux distributions non stop at this blog spot.
In that scenario I forgot the PIN numbers of my bank cards for three months.
Luckily I had a saving passbook at the bank and survived the financial crisis.
During this period I devised my own method to remember my passwords for different emails, I have.
In three months without regression or help from a psychiatrist I regained my memory to 80% and the bank PIN numbers.
I did not ask the bank to change the PIN number.
Have to remember another number was a toll order.
Getting back to my old number would actually reinforce my memory channel.
This is where I disagree with digital banking.
The bank server remembers it for you and it impairs your memory.
This discussion is relevant to my dream retold here.
By the way, I sleep well.
The other type of sleep is REM or Rapid Eye Movement Sleep.
If one is woken up during this sleep one remembers the dream.
I have no idea why we dream and what physiological role it has.
My theory is it erases the action potential in certain parts of brain cells, so the awake state reality is maintained.
I do not subscribe to unconscious mind at all.
Mind is in a continuous stream and flows from awake to dream state to awake.
There is no break in thread unless on kicks the bucket.
I have two books on mind, too.
Read them for detail.
Deep Sleep and REM sleep alternate and one has more of REM states.
In other words one has more dreams.
My scenario is I go to sleep well and I have a rhythm of 4REM hours and 4 hours of deep sleep.
8 hours in total.
I go to sleep early and wake up around 4AM to 5AM.
Back at home I switch on the old PC or NUC and do some work until it is 7.30AM when I come out for 15 minutes for Sun Bathing for VitD.
By the way, the computer heat keeps me warm (dog too).
The bees leave by 6AM and the birds leave at 7AM. Crow comes last and I do not want to upset their daily routine.
4 hours of Deep Sleep is enough for an adult and children and babies have more deep sleep to assimilate new data.
I go bit deeper and I say one has to erase the memory of the immediate past birth to enter into this life of rebirth.
My current problem is I wake up at 5AM and due to morning cold (not extreme like in UK), I do not come down to the pantry to make a cup of tea.
From 5AM to 7.30AM, I have three doses of REM sleep and the dream in the last REM, I remember in bits and pieces.
Being a satire man, I insert a few pieces of my own to make it narrative.
Now let me come to passports.
This information I have gathered from YouTube and I have seen only one type of passport.
There are 3 typed of passports in Ceylon.
1. An ordinary passport I have no VISA except Travel VISA.
2. Special passports for MPs like Wira Wansa and his Family members.
3. Diplomatic passport.
4. There is another called dual passport for Sri-Lankans who are resident in other countries.
One had to pay Rs.500,000 sometime ago and this fee has gone up.
There is woman PM in Ceylon who is well known as a high class prostitute.
She owns a diplomatic passport.
That is my bone of contention.
In her passports the entries of names, addresses, parent names are different.
It looks like she was bastard by birth and was adopted as an orphan.
May be her mother was a high class prostitute and her putative husband was white skinned guy from Britain.
All these are immaterial.
One should not have only one passport.
This woman does not deserve a diplomatic passport.
If at all she is smuggling gems, gold and ancient artefacts of Ceylon stolen from our museums.
There is another female MP who was related to previous boss who smuggled our valuable artefacts for sale aboard.
It is not only Baby Elephants, everything valuable is smuggled.
Why these guys and girls are not in prison but only Rajan Ramanayake was sent to prison?
Now come my dream.
This bank officer was rogue while working in the bank and now in saffron cloth.
When he was being investigated he without resigning garbed the saffron cloth and changed his personal criteria.
He came into possession of another diplomatic passport and claimed immunity from bank prosecution.
He did not cancel his layman National ID to become a monk.
Now he has a new Buddhist ID registered under Buddha Sasana.
He was ordained in a reputable temple.
He was then entrusted with keeping the accounts of the temple.
In each transaction he deposits 10% as commission to his layman account.
You remember we had a 10% guy who was a USA resident.
Similar scenario in action.
The dream goes like this but but vague.
All dreams are vague not like a TeleDrama.
Missing points, I have edited.
I ordered a Pizza round.
They guy came in.
I did not have cash.
I tendered the VISA card.
It was rejected.
Not enough to buy even PIZZA round.
Then he came in to use our land phone.
I refused.
Little altercation with the PIZZA delivery guy who had several other orders.
I rang the bank.
No reply from the bank as usual.
Several tries with other numbers and the guy who was now residing in the temple answered.
He asked for my ID.
Then he was asking me details not relevant.
I asked his name.
He obliged.
"You are the guy that the bank is investigating on fraud", I responded.
He put the phone down.
I checked and found he was residing in this famous temple.
The lesson of this dream, of course in general is, one should never volunteer information over the phone other than the ID and contact telephone number.
Fraudulent guys collect information and pose as real guys.
In a lighter note PIZZA story was surreal and I had another card with money available and PIZZA guy was paid on delivery.
In old age, one cannot remember each transaction and other overdue charges.
Having a current account is mandatory and one should ask the bank to sent a monthly record.
There are lot of myths about dogs but here I want to illustrate few human facts that I should communicate with Maha Brahma who was a yesteryear dog exterminated to make room for Perahara Pilgrims that visit this holy city of Kandy. Most of Sri-Lankan end up in hell where the All Maha Brahmas and present assistant of Maha Brahmas were dogs from this country. By clever design they ended up there and for my luck I happened to know the Present Maha Brahmas Assistant as a Paraya dog in Kandy and I am fortunate enough to communicate with him by virtual email.
First the bad news.
Lot of paraya dogs were cleared up recently in preparation for Perehara and I want a place reserved for them in hell (for the municipality exterminators not the exterminated paraya dogs).
In some countries when they are old they are sent to Old Dogs Haven.
I want the Maha to take them to heaven moment they are exterminated but make a short list of the exterminators and send that list to Apaya (Hell) Server.
I have designed a full proof program to catch dog killers and that is working nicely in Apaya Server currently but the problem is, these dog killers live longer than the dog by many a mile due to cardiac surgery performed.
How to Compare Senior Citizens and Senior Dogs
1. The have homes for the elderly.
Haven is practically hell for the dogs.
2. Some senior citizens by that become mayors of the holy city.
There is only extermination decree for aged dogs signed by the mayor or a certain, Colombo University Don.
3. They never give way to juniors.
Junior dogs take charge of the brood.
I have another plea.
If one wants to age with the dog please do the following.
1. Take care of a young dog at the age of 43 (when nobody seems to want you including your wife and kids) years.
2. When you are 50 your dog is 7 years old and equal to 50 years of human age.
3. In another three (3) when your dog is 10 he is equivalent to 60 human years and you will be 53 years.
You are younger by 7 years.
4. In another two years dog (at 12 years) will be 70 and you will be only 55 years.
You are younger by 15 years.
43=0
50=7=50 (only at 50 one can be at the level of the dog age and enjoy with your contemporary to your heart content and his company prevents you from getting a heart attack, if you delay the dog will get a heart attack).
53=10=60
52=12=70 (This is the time you get a bypass operation and the dog get a heart attack).
5. Now that you have become the mayor at 55 after retiring from service would you be kind to this dog who is 12 years or sent for the Municipality exterminator.
6. They are just old senior dogs / citizens they do not have a parliament to go but only the streets but unlike you they look after our streets even at night when young, is it reasonable to put them to death?
7. How come, if I say all the senior citizens who were ex-parliamentarians and drawing a fat pension and to save money for development they should be exterminated.
Will you pass a bill and vote yes in parliament?
Are we reasonable human beings?
END
