Open Source Applications
1. Firefox and Brave
2. VLC
3. LibreOffice and AbiWord
4. Jitsi for video conferencing
5. GIMP (raster based) or Inkscape
7. Bleachbit or Stacer
8. htop
9. Text editor notepadqq
10. Audacity or Deadbef
11. Box is a Virtual box
12. Vim
13. Gamabs
14. Lyx
15. Bluefish
16. Thunderbird
17. Transmission torrent client
18. Deluge a torrent client
19. Gneumeric
20. Emac
21. Pidgin
Evolution of Gnome
Debian Live 9.12.0-amd64-gnome.iso
This gave a Graphical Installer to install Debian, which I found was easy.
Partition table looked like this which I had no ides.
/root
/var
swap
/tmp
/home
I became aware of /var for variable data and I did not know how to use it.
Icon setup was primitive.
Only Ethernet and not compatible with wireless but whereas Ubuntu could (Emmabantus,too) configure wireless.
So installing new software was impossible and had to be stuck with what came with it.
It had LibreOffice.
Debian installer was clumsy and installing AbiWord was not possible and stuck with Emmabantus which had AbiWord
These days I had fun with Apache Open Office.
Debian Live 10.12.0-amd64-gnome.iso
Similar to above comment but icon display was much better.
Debian Live 11.6.0-amd64-gnome.iso
Similar to above comment but icon display was much better but no ESP Grub
Debian Live 12 5 0 amd64 Gnome ISO
This is the most elegant and has the new Calamara Installer.
Its ESP compatible and GRUB Loader is pretty good.
No problem with wireless connectivity.
This is my favourite and I use it on daily basis, it comes with Synaptic Package Manager (in fact Debian Package manger which is extensive) which I prefer to SNAP.
Ubuntu has gone SNAP but Synaptic Package Manager is still available for Ubuntu.
I am going to download all three of these isos from torrent files and see how I got addicted to Gnome.
I actually had the stable version installed in my very old PC and Live CD/DVD were collected for testing.
Yes, Debian 10 is the one who had a panel on the left side and dots on the right side when one sees whole lot of application items.
Ubuntu of cores successfully implemented live session with only a minimal of applications.
Al these images were less than 3GB and now they are nearing 5GB.
That is my conclusions, even Gnome getting bloated with each new version.
All these images had only one peer each.
Thank you to them.
BOX utility has made my life easier.
By the way, I have limited number of USBs and I have Ubuntu from 2020 version to 2024, for USB used up.
I did not do this with Debian since I had been using Debian fr over 10 years.
Nevertheless, I am catching up with Ubuntu.
Those days I had no interest in Ubuntu.
Ubuntu Install was minimal and I got addicted it later since it had the best GRUB file.
Of course I had Ubuntu CD/DVDS from its version 6 in my CD/DVD collection.
Gnome BOX utility is fantastic and I am going to run these isos in BOX Utility and see how Gnome evolved.
Linux is steady and incremental, stable and not flashy like Apple and Windows.
The is for those YouTube Linux pundits, some of whom are hell bent on saying bad things about Linux having not tested Gnome.
All of them only test Linux Mint and do not talk about LMDE (Linux Mind Debian Edition).
I think Ubuntu which is a derivative of Debian became popular by adopting Gnome 10 desktop.
Less I talk about Arch and Manjaro is better for my sanity.
I have been trying Debian from version 6.0 but full adoption was probably from version 9 in 2015 when, I retired fro the University.
5.0 Lenny 14 February 2009
6.0 Squeeze 6 February 2011
7 Wheezy 4 May 2013
8 Jessie 25 26 April 2015
9 Stretch 17 June 2017
10 Buster 6 July 2019
11 Bullseye 14 August 2021
12 Bookworm 10 June 2023
Debian Gnome Live Image can be Installed in a USB.
Just like Ubuntu 24.04 one can install Debian Gnome Live Image into a USB.
It uses Calamara Installer and one should be confident with Calamara.
I used FatPUP-64 in a live session to partition the 15GB USB using Gparted.
Mind you Debian has nearly 300,000 files and it takes at least 30 minutes to finish installing.
Go and Grab a cup of tea or coffee is my advice.
Cinnamon Desktop is Probably Bigger than Gnome.
I was under the impression that Cinnamon Desktop is lighter than Gnome, since it derives on Gnome.
I think that impression is wrong.
Gnome does not pad up with unnecessary tools where as Cinnamon is bloated up with applications one may not need.
It takes a long time to download and install cinnamon desktop.
I get a message /usr has only 500MB.
I suppose I am going to uninstall after one go.
Google uses Debian
This piece is for guys and girls who are grumbling about Linux in YouTube.
Google has switched to Debian from Ubuntu, since it is (2 year) stable and trusted.
Ubuntu is much flexible and it's 24.04 is fabulous and I have three copies in my NUC.
1. Minimal version without LibreOffice which is bulky.
2. Full version for testing applications using Synaptic Package Manager and Flatpack
3. Stable version for my day to day work.
I am a long time user of Debian and my Love for Ubuntu is recent and growing.
Both are based on Gnome Desktop.
Rolling Releases of Debian
Reproduction
When we designed gLinux Rodete (Rolling Debian Testing), we aimed at removing the two year upgrade cycle and instead spread out the load on the team throughout time. The general move to CI/CD in the industry has shown that smaller incremental changes are easier to control and rollback. Rolling releases with Linux distributions today are getting more common (Arch Linux, NixOS).
We considered going with other Linux distributions, but ended up choosing Debian because we again wanted to offer a smooth in-place migration. This included considerations towards the availability of packages in Debian, the large Debian community and also the existing internal packages and tooling that were using the Debian format.
While the Debian Stable track follows a roughly two-year jump between releases, the Debian testing track works as a rolling release, as it's the pool of all packages ingested and built from upstream, waiting for the next stable release to happen.
The time from upstream release to availability in testing is often just a few days (although during freeze periods before a Debian stable release, it can sometimes lag a few months behind).
This means we can get much more granular changes in general and provide the newest software to our engineers at Google without having to wait longer periods.
Puppy Linux is my Favorite!
1. Puppy has the best Light Weight functional desktop.
2. Besides it fits in USB and portable.
3. When I travel I carry it in my trouser pocket to boot and test hardware before buying. I did not bring any to Australia but downloaded two versions moment I settled down. They are in USBs.
4. It has many versions.
I have at least 10 stored in my hard disk. 64 GB USB can carry all the truculently available images.
5. It went to hibernation and is currently active.
Easy OS is beautiful.
6. It originated from Australia.
7. Barry Kauler is a dog lover.
8. It can be installed in many ways and PUPfile is one variety.
Knoppix 9.1
1. A few lines on Knoppix is relevant.
2. I started Linux with Knoppix 3.1 and I never looked back and waited for the next version.
I have collection Knoppix USBs in Ceylon.
3. Later, I probably went to PCLinux and Linux Live CDs.
4. Unlike Puppy Linux is "one man show" and he is in retirement, after the last edition.
5. I have a copy in my hard disk but it does not boot on my Intel NUC.
If ever if come out of hibernation he should use a new kernel with hardware compatibility testing at boot time.
6. It has the best Window Manager and nobody has reproduced it .
7. They are Floating desktops.
8. Detects partition easily and has Gparted.
9. Internet connection is smooth.
10. It can be installed if one wishes.
11. It can be booted from a USB with session saving capability.
What do you need?
By the way, I do not like Debian base Gnoppix.
Debian Calamara Installer
One has to master the new Debian Calamara Installer, if one has several distributions in the same hard disk.
I made several mistakes over time since I assumed that, like the Ubuntu Installer (the best in town) that lets me corrects my mistakes before OK button is pressed, but the Calamara does not warm me (it assumes, I have made correct decision) but hangs up if partitioning is awkward.
/Efi partition
/boot partition (I believe, it is redundant)
/root
/usr
/srv services
/opt
I have dropped /var since it gets loaded with variable files and fills this partition, which I find unable to clean and I invariably gets a message saying, there is no space in the hard disk.
It actually FROZE today when I was downloading various desktop type to test.
My test period of desktop types is over.
Various distributions are all based on Gnome.
They have the same packages underneath.
So why bother changing a distribution for another.
It is far better to have three different types of distributions.
So I decided to erase the LMDE and install Parrot OS 6 version which s better than Kali.
It just finished installing.
I hope, this time I got it right.
By the way, Parrot OS in it's live session has Gparted to partitioning the disk.
Parrot OS got it wrong it did not detect the Debian already nstalled in the GRUB boot loader.
Parrot OS is MATE derivative and MATE being light weight has many missing files.
I am reinstalling Debian.
Browsing WEB Without a Graphical Interface
Lynx
A good alternative for users without a graphical environment is Lynx.
Lynx is a full screen browser for WWW using arrows and tab keys, cursor addressing highlighted or numbered links to navigate within the web. Lynx has no image or sound capabilities: any images or sounds are replaced by a tag at display time and the corresponding files can be retrieved separately. Unlike the line mode browser, documents containing embedded images or enhanced document formats (e.g. formulaires) are handled properly by Lynx.
A demonstration version of Lynx is available using Telnet to www.cc.ukans.edu (login as www).
Implementations for various Unix flavors and for VMS are available for anonymous FTP from ftp2.cc.ukans.edu in the directory /pub/WWW/lynx.
Examples:
WWW gives you access to an information universe.
Let's say you want to know how many film versions of The Three Musketeers have been made.
You browse The WWW Virtual Library and select Movies:
Debian Gnome Live
I stand to correction.
Debian Live once installer in the hard disk, lets one add different desktops using Synaptic Package Manager.
Initial install, it has three type of Gnome Desktops but by using Synaptic Package Manager one can add other desktops.
Distributions with Gnome Desktop
There are only a few distributions with Gnome Desktop.
I was looking for minimal install (only tested on Live Session).
Spiral Linux seems to be a good option.
It has both Synaptic Package Manager and the new SNAP utility.
It has GPT.
Installer is Calamara Installer.
It has Libre Office as usual.
It has VLC and nothin more.
Solus
Solus appears as strip down Gnome
No Wifi connectivity on a live session.
Debian Live DVD
Of course to get full features one should use Debian Gnome Live DVD which is excellent.
Partition Order for a Desktop Linux
I have had second thoughts about partition order.
I presume the following order may be better.
EFI about 500MB
/root
/boot (optional and may be redundant)
/home
/tmp
/usr (for user file location assuming more than one is using the computer
/srv services
/var
I have some reservation about var partition (unless you dedicate a large space) since it get used up when more and more applications are added. One get the warning not enough space in the disk.
SWAP is mandatory and I have several.
XFC4 Desktop
This is the desktop I have Love and Hate Relationship.
Yes I love its Mouse Mascot.
My first Linux CD had Mouse Mascot and it could have been early PC Linux (now dysfunctional) distribution which I loved.
When Resources and RAM were minimal Emmabantus on XFCE desktop was useful where I used AbiWord (only Emmabantus supported AbiWord. then) to write my books.
If somebody is having old hardware and want a functioning Linux distribution, one should go for a distribution with XFCE (even though, I DO NOT recommend Emmabantus 5, perhaps version 4 is for you) desktop.
It is much better than Unity Desktop and Budgie Desktop.
Thank YOU and Good Bye to XFX4.
Budgie Desktop
I have not used Budgie Linux Distribution in the past and my experience and impression may be outdated.
It has a pleasing appearance and and all the panels (selection of a particular application is difficult, in my case over 100 applications) are on the top which is alien to me (good old days everything was on the right hand corner, menus, applications, task bars etc).
I am Ubuntu (traditional Ubuntu, vertical right hand corner selection panel) and Gnome with bottom of the desktop (it used to be left side of the desktop) where one can rearrange the application to one's content.
Well, nothing to beat Gnome Desktop experience with number of workplaces to work interactively.
Workplaces were my craze for multitasking, some in the background.
Unity Desktop
It freezes on logout and one needs Ctr+Alt + F1 of backspace to log out within Ubuntu 24.04 environment.
It is probably trying to cater for low resource computers with low RAM.
Nowadays one need at least 4GB of DDR4 RAM for a good desktop.
DDR5 is already in the market and Linux games are coming of age discarding old Laptops and PCs is the way about.
If somebody gives you an old machine FREE please refuse.
Enlightenment Desktop
This desktop is finicky.
It fiddles with your monitor from which you cannot recover or log out.
I had to manually configure the monitor to my liking , several times.
It is Light Weight and do not use it.
No Termil or Console to give a kill all command.
Blackbox Desktop
Bundled within Blackbox are number of other Light Weight Desktops.
They are;
1. Awesome
2. Fluxbox
3. IceWarm three editions
Plasma Desktop
I have stopped using Plasma for some time.
It has pleasing front end but the back end uses over 2000MB.
KDE is much simpler and has Falkon browser which is pretty good if you do not like Chrome or Firefox.
I have some good things to talk about KDE Plasma.
I would not have discovered them If I did not test each desktop.
It has both Joplin and Paperwork included as application which is pretty good effort.
Thank You Guys and Girls of Plasma Development Team.
I have to talk about blackbox next since I am into small or light weight desktops.
Note;
One should not forget SWAP Partition and I have one Swap Partition after every distribution, three in number.
I delete (I have two more in reserve) the Swap partition stationed as the last partition in the Partition Table, and install, the latest distribution there, that I am testing to see how much hardware (GB) it needs as it is often claimed by the developers.
I hate Virtual Installations, even though, I have the BOX utility to test the small distributions.
Blend OS is one one should NOT TRY, it is resource hungry and I cannot write it on a 64GB USB.
There is a small caveat here.
If one is using a spinning hard disk the order matters and the scanning needle has to spin a lot, if the order /boot (EFI), /Root,/Usr/Home etc are not sequential.
In an SSD it does not matter unless one uses (I have three distributions in a SSD of 320GB with 40GB reserved for NTFS for storing Iso Images which I test and delete) many Linux distributions, in one disk.
In that scenario for effective booting EFI has to be the first.
As an old habit I use /boot partition first before /root but I do not think at booting, it recurses to boot partition at all.
One can see this order by running system utility, I believe.
In the good old days, it had to be only 4 Primary partitions or 3 Primary and one Logical.
Those day I was dual booting with Windows and for over 20 years NO WINDOWS in my systems.
I am referring to EXT4 partitions and EXT3 were used in the past.
EXT4 has a good Journelling Methodology and there is no limit to the number of partitions.
One should use Gparted for partitioning
I used Debian method now because I am confident with my partitioning.
1. Leave half of the disk empty.
2. Let the next distribution takes over the empty part of the hard disk.
3. See how it partitions, the disk.
4. Note the amount of GB needed for /root.
5. Most of the left over is dedicated to the home partition.
6. Resize the home partition to free the disk space.
7. Follow the same routine for the 3rd distribution.
I have been doing this for two decades for testing new editions of distributions, to write a piece in my blog site.
All of the blog pieces are still here.Half of the disk is left for Ubuntu, since it has the best EFI configuring ability.
Even, Debian especially Debian based Emmabantus 5 version cannot configure the EFI properly.
I have stopped using Emmabantus.
I use minimal Ubuntu installation and pad up the necessary (just because of the limitation of my small SSD) utilities later.
I have discussed this in detail elsewhere.
I am Gnome addict and that can become bulky due to Cinnamon and Mate desktops.
Btrs (butter partitioning) type of partitions of Redhat and Fedora are in a mess and tend to become pretty slow.
Debian and Ubuntu does a good check of the hard disk at booting, using recursive partition as in Fedora is redundant.
AbiWord, Open Office and LibreOffice
AbiWord
I have done all my books on AbiWord and it has all the formats including latex format to save a files.
Coming from a command line utility, it is no wonder.
Bluefish was my command line utility, from which I started my Linux World.
I never did command line work on AbiWord.
Open Office
Open office was the predecessor for LibreOffice.
It had more formats including .sxw format which I used instead of .dot files of Microsoft.
LibreOffice
LibreOffice is bulky and it has more of Microsoft formats and .odt is its format base.
That is why I never use it.
I published ONLY one book using LibreOffice.
That is of course, original text was on .abw format and just before publishing I converted ti to .dot or .odt (I cannot remember).
It took more than a week (to correct book format errors made in converting to doc file) for me to get the page format in order (which was in pristine form in .abw file).
I will never use LibreOffice in spite of its glossy appearance.
Rather, better use Microsoft Office with bulky Macros.
Linux Fundamentals
1. Boat Loader
Systemd
System 5 Init
2. Kernel to deal with hardware
3. Dbus that integrate and share resources with application and probably daemons.
4. Desktop
5. Application on top of the Desktop (Graphic interface)
Xmonard, I think is not a desktop but a terminal emulator padded up.
xmonad has been released. Check out our download page for instructions on where to get it. (2023-04-02)XMonad is..
Window Maker is another Lihght Weight Desktop.
Please DO NOT use the Generic term Window Manager.
What is this awesome window manager?
Awesome is a highly configurable, next generation framework window manager for X. It is very fast, extensible and licensed under the GNU GPLv2 license.
It is primarily targeted at power users, developers and any people dealing with every day computing tasks and who want to have fine-grained control on their graphical environment.
A window manager is probably one of the most used software applications in your day-to-day tasks, along with your web browser, mail reader and text editor. Power users and programmers have a big range of choice between several tools for these day-to-day tasks. Some are heavily extensible and configurable.
awesome tries to complete these tools with what we miss: an extensible, highly configurable window manager.
To achieve this goal, awesome has been designed as a framework window manager. It's extremely fast, small, dynamic and heavily extensible using the Lua programming language.
We provide a documented API to configure and define the behavior of your window manager.
IceWarm is beat out of the lot with everything in one place.
I am going to use on Regular Basis.
IceWM
IceWM is a window manager for the X Window System.
The goal of IceWM is speed, simplicity, and not getting in the user’s way. It comes with a taskbar with pager, global and per-window keybindings and a dynamic menu system. Application windows can be managed by keyboard and mouse. Windows can be iconified to the taskbar, to the tray, to the desktop or be made hidden. They are controllable by a quick switch window (Alt+Tab) and in a window list. A handful of configurable focus models are menu-selectable. Setups with multiple monitors are supported by RandR and Xinerama. IceWM is very configurable, themeable and well documented. It includes an optional external background wallpaper manager with transparency support, a simple session manager and a system tray.
IceWM is available on popular Linux distributions like Debian, Ubuntu, Arch, OpenSUSE, Gentoo, Slackware, CentOS, antiX, NixOS and on most *BSDs.
Software
IceWM was coded from scratch in C++ by Marko Maček since 1997. It is now maintained at Github.
Releases
The latest released version is 3.5.0 (2024-05-20).
Features
Easy to use, simple and fast
Standards compliant
Fully usable with keyboard
Alt+Tab window switching
Efficient resource usage
Task bar (optional)
Multiple work spaces
Fully documented
A large number of themes
Usable with GNOME and KDE environments
Regenerates menus when configuration changes
Support for sound effects
Multiple focus modes
Manual placement of windows option
Auto raising of windows option
Tool tips
Configurable keybinding
Supports Dock Apps in a container
Tabbed windows
GNU guys has given a wrong impression on all the Widow mangers.
Window Manager is generally used as a collective terms.
JWM is the lightest but has no Internet or Office (AbiWord) packages and I think the developers should include those two applications.
GNUstep "this is cut paste piece".
GNUstep is development environment, not a window manager
Many people have confused GNUstep with WindowMaker. GNUstep, however, is not a window manager. WindowMaker is the most often-used NeXT-looking application on a non-NeXT system. WindowMaker also uses a derivation of the GNUstep logo. WindowMaker is the preferred GNUstep window manager, but GNUstep applications also work with any window manager, although you're most likely, currently, to have a more cohesive desktop experience if you use the two in conjunction.
What GNUstep is
GNUstep is an advanced, cross-platform, object oriented environment composed of frameworks, tools and servers (daemons). It is very close to the Cocoa frameworks from Apple and tries to maintain compatibility with Cocoa wherever it is desired and possible. The roots of the GNUstep application interface are same as the roots of Cocoa: NeXT and OpenStep.
Relation to WindowMaker
WindowMaker is a window manager, not a workspace manager nor a file browser. It is nothing more. WindowMaker and GNUstep share almost no libraries or functionality. WindowMaker is written in C, and GNUstep is written in Objective-C. WindowMaker does make certain things easier for GNUstep, but it is not GNUstep itself, although it is a part of the project.
The Importance of this difference
In many people's minds the environment and the frameworks used to create programs merges. WindowMaker can be used with Qt or GNOME apps, just as easily as it can be used with GNUstep. Similarly GNUstep applications can run using KDE (Qt's preferred Window Manager) or Enlightenment (GNOME's preferred Window Manager). This misconception can make one loose sight of the powerful programming frameworks underneath.
Please note
WindowMaker is an excellent window manager and none of the preceeding should be construed to imply otherwise.
Blackbox
Blackbox which is a X11 implementation has both Blackbox and Fluxbox in one place.
It has panel on the right side.
Fluxbox
Fluxbox(1) is a window manager. As such it provides configurable window decorations, a root menu to launch applications and a toolbar that shows the current workspace name, a set of application names and the current time. There is also a workspace menu to add or remove workspaces.
Fluxbox can iconify (or minimize) windows to the toolbar One click and they reappear. A double-click on the titlebar of the window will shade it; i.e. the window will disappear, and only the titlebar will remain visible.
There are also two areas commonly used by small applets: the ‘slit’ can be used to dock small applications; e.g. most of the “bbtools” and “Window Maker dockapps” can use the slit, and the ‘systray’ which lives in the toolbar supports standard system tray icons provided by some applications.
Fluxbox uses its own graphics class to render its images on the fly. By using style files, you can determine in great detail how your desktop looks. fluxbox styles are compatible with those of Blackbox 0.65 or earlier versions, so users migrating can still use their current favourite themes.
Most of the default keyboard and mouse button actions mentioned in this manual can be changed and configured in the ‘keys’ file. This powerful configuration file can also be used to automate almost any action you may want to perform, from launching applications to moving windows around the screen. See fluxbox-keys(5) for details.
Fluxbox can also remember certain attributes of individual application windows and restore these settings the next time the window opens. See the fluxbox-apps(5) for details.
Fluxbox supports the majority of the Extended Window Manager Hints (EWMH) specification, as well as numerous other Window Hinting standards. This allows all compliant window managers to provide a common interface to standard features used by applications and desktop utilities.
Open Box Desktop
Openbox is a highly configurable, next generation window manager with extensive standards support.
The *box visual style is well known for its minimalistic appearance. Openbox uses the *box visual style, while providing a greater number of options for theme developers than previous *box implementations. The theme documentation describes the full range of options found in Openbox themes.
Openbox lets you bring the latest applications outside of a full desktop environment. Most modern applications have been written with GNOME and KDE in mind. With support for the latest freedesktop.org standards, as well as careful adherence to previous standards, Openbox provides an environment where applications work the way they were designed to.
Openbox is a highly configurable window manager. It allows you to change almost every aspect of how you interact with your desktop and invent completely new ways to use and control it. It can be like a video game for controlling windows. But Openbox can also be kept extremely simple, as it is in the default setup, meaning that it can suit just about anybody. Openbox gives you control without making you do everything.
Openbox makes desktop environments better. By running Openbox inside the GNOME or K desktop environments, you can combine their ease and functionality with the power of Openbox. Your desktop becomes cleaner and faster, and is in your control, when you use Openbox.Take a look at the getting started guide and change how you manage your desktop.
It has support for Gnome and KDE.
Use Synaptic Package Manager to Install it.
It is not an application but a desktop environment with many apllications bound to it.
More importantly it consumes (dark background) very little RAM and by right clicking the mouse, I can get to my favourite AbiWord and I am editing this piece using AbiWord.
Importantly, it has Falkon Browser which has integrated with our WiFi automatically ( I think WiFi is bundled into the browser).
I have this bundle insalled in Ubuntu 24.04.
Thank YOU to Everybody!
JWM is the lightest but has no Internet or Office (AbiWord) packages and I think the developers should include those to applications.
I am going to Flushbox next.
Blackbox is X11 Desktop.
Text Editors in Linux and Word Processors
Brain Train Dream
This is one of my dreams published in book form.
This is reproduced as the last chapter of my book Meditation Business
This dream was short but I think it is appropriate,I should reproduce it here since it is relevant to Metta Meditation and Heavenly Aboard.
I was in trouble in my dream.
I was trying to find a toilet for number one job and not number two. I was on a holiday of some sort, in an unfriendly remote corner of the earth.
Place looked like Alaska.
It would have been in Alberta or on Alaska looking for tar sand or rare metal deposits. Trouble was I could not find a self contained cubicle to do that job out of sight and out of open view.
Finally, I found a place without the roof with the squatting plate made of marble.
A posh site without bystanders and also without a roof in open air.
It got to be Alaska not Alberta.
Then I sat down but its size and proportions made me to realize it was not made for a man of my size but probably for an elephant. The second problem was to find a little plastic container to fetch some water to do the final bottom clean up. Unlike, the guys and girls of the West who use paper toilet, we still prefer the wet toiletry and getting wet in the process.
Finally, I found a thrash can, in actual fact three in number placed one on top of the other.
It looked like a vessel left by a pre-historic man and it was almost fossilized.
I dug it up from the snow.
I was finally ready armed to the teeth as it were, now ready for the plunge or the big drop.
I was figuring out how to make a simple do and make a quick exit before somebody click an ireport on my exploits on a hitherto barren land and send it to CNN for a quick Flash of News.
But I was rudely interrupted by a guy who looked to me like 5 star janitor wearing something which looked like a spacesuit which I had never seen before.
It was bright and in golden colour.
Other strange thing was he looked like he never touched the ground as if he was levitating.
He splashed a golden creamy stuff which looked like egg shampoo to me on the marble floor and then splashed double that amount of the stuff on the bath tub / tiny water pool and turned round in a flash towards me, telling me, that I should position my feet on the correct alignment marked by what looked like to me an elephant footprint and to my amazement he was trying to positioned my feet (not my bottoms on the correct trajectory).
It was a strange feeling.
I was trying my bottoms in correct alignment, in this massive cesspit but he was trying to get my feet aligned and he was about to hold one of my feet and I felt ticklish and embarrassed.
Next thing I knew was I was holding my right foot with one hand and the other hand on my bottoms to see whether I had some accidental runs in my sleep.
Neither.
Woke up but not in need for any voids.
In any case in my half dreamy state I walked to the toilet and tried the big one.
No void.
Tried the number two, a tiny dribble.
I soon realized I was only dreaming and quickly went back to my bed for the second round of my sleep without any interruption by dreams or mosquitoes.
I was hard pressed for a good dream and Maha Brahma would be equally pleased to interpret this in any case, decided to email it when I am up and in correct senses.
True to his character he answered the dream in kind.
I asked him was there a second part.
NO he said.
Is it futuristic?
Yes he said.
Was it Alaska?
NO.
Where was it?
Can't you guess?
It got to be heaven!
It got to be me going to heaven?
I am not suppose to tell that to you in advance.
It was a very dull dream, I reflected on it.
No son, it is a very good one.
In case if you want to come here it good for you to know the heaven protocol, Isn't it?
Yes Sir.
Are there marble toilets in heaven?
We really like marble floors on toilets.
Eve on our final resting places on earth are marble floored and lined, I told him.
The last thing you see before you leave earth and you say good bye to toilets.
We do not have toilets in heaven.
But we have a small area designated for earthlings just before one enters heaven.
What you saw in your dream is the quarantine in practice.
Who was that guy doing the quarantine?
He was a guy working in the parliament in Ceylon.
He was the one who used to remove all the offensive language before entering, in the hanzard.
Is that enough to enter heaven.
Yes.
In that case no parliament MP enters the heaven.
Yes.
Thank god for telling that truth.
Shall I tell you the protocol before entering the heaven.
Yes, SIR.
We have 10 steps to proper quarantine at the gate of heave.
I will gave that in a list form.
OK, Sir.
Protocol before entering heaven for earthling.
1. First we give Bowel Wash.
2. Hand Wash and Body Wash
3. All Food in your bowel washed out during stage one are incinerated.
4. Then Head Wash
Most of these items are done by the funeral directors, aren't they?
Yes but still we prefer a follow up clean.
5. Then the Brain Wash, washing the brain of rubbish that are put on you by the psychologists.
Under hypnosis a psychologist on earth will tell you that one swallows 3 to 10 spiders a night on an average.
This type of false propaganda has to be washed out completely.
6. Brain Drain is a technique to get all redundant information like
Positive thinking
Creative brain
Logical brain
Lateral brain
One uses 10% of the Brain and the lot.
Then we drain all the psychological theories put on your brain by management trainers on earth.
They are all rubbish and has no validity on heaven.
This is the most difficult part of the clean up process.
Then I told him we spend enormous amount of money for these trainer training programs.
That is not my problem.
But if you can avoid these American programs, it is so much the better if you consider entering heaven.
You mean to say lot of Americans will never sight the heaven.
TRUE my dear.
What about their M.B.As and Emotional Intelligent Training, they teach in Harvard.
They are useless in heaven.
7. Brain Train
Then we train them to think.
After the above seven we start on Moment Meditation.
I was very good at present moment meditation training and since I was very short of memory, especially the past.
But I am very bad at Metta Meditation since, I do not have any enemies in heaven.
In my past lives I have had only a few friends and that was a long period ago.
That is why I am very bad at Metta Meditation.
That is why I asked you to tell me how to practice Metta to enemies.
8. Present Moment Meditation
I do it myself.
9. Metta Meditation.
I actually delegate this part to earthlings who come here.
But when I saw the nice aura around your vertex, I was naturally inquisitive.
10. Train “Brain Train” for other earthly beings.
Then when we get those Trained Brained Guys (T.B.G) from earth come here and asked me for a big favours,
I put them in a Train and put one of their guys to the control room and I take a break.
These clever guys on earth must get to very good places in heaven, won't they?
NO.
What?
They drive themselves to HELL.
HELL!
Yes.
Don't you realize that one needs very little brain to enter heaven.
You only need a big brain to hoodwink another big brain.
That is necessary only on earth.
Not in heaven.
Don't be too brainy and he disappeared.