Bats /Bets on Hold -Wow Wavula Dot Com

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Bats / Bets on Hold -Wow Wavula Dot Com
Unexpected as it was the response to the new party (L.(A)L.P.) was overwhelming. True to the Linux tradition one of the first requests from the new party members was to launch a new web site. My response was an overt enthusiasm but soon I was overcome by the difficulty in finding a suitable name. 
The traditional Peradeniya, hoo (hoot) and ha hoo have been hijacked by the yahoo and all the animal of the species including the Kaputa (Raven, Crow and the Cockerel)  and Fox (Lion-Fox) have been designated by the  IT people and politicians, I was left with only a few choices (options). 
It was with few sleepless nights and gazing at the sky in the night of the Sun’s eclipse, I hit upon the new name.
Wow! wavula.dot.com!
You may not be surprised that it was unanimously accepted by the executive committee which is unusual in Linux tradition. With so many nuances in our tradition conformity is exception to the rule. Our political think tanks were able to see the vision and its future. 
With the election fever catching up feverishly so many docile bats (Political Wavulas are coming out of hibernation) are coming to perch on the big money trees, there is no room left for the fruit bats. There are so many bats around the major money trees that they almost kill each other to reach a branch or a leaf and many of them have decided to go out in day time instead of at night to relieve the congestion. 
So our tree at L. (A) L..P head quarters was good landing site for the undecided Wavulas (Staggering 20% according to our latest estimates in day time polling but this varies at night. 
Why we do not know?). 
At our tree (site) there are hardly any at night, only night visitors are few political spies and drop outs that just visit us to recuperate their lost energies while trying to cling to the major money trees in the day time.
Barring them our site is bustling with activity. 
Our new recruitment drive without any false promises is a true success story. 
We in fact, do not have any promises. 
Our Widow’s (windows) friends are so tired of the staled stories and boredom, visiting our site day or night is a real retreat to sanity and serenity.
We have made all entries automated and we have decided not to demand any identity or sanity to keep ourselves sane. 
Our only requirement (drive) is each one of them learn to laugh loudly even if they have heard the same joke umpteenth time.
Our research team has found startling discoveries. 

The bats can be trained to (especially the Political Wavulas) spread there wings by opening their webs even in resting stage to catch any jokes that come out of the mouth of the Presidential Candidates or by email even without opening their (even if they open their eyes with the degree of inebriation they are in, it make no sense to them) eyes. We can make these bats to go totally blind. Hearing only what one wants to hear, the fables or the fallible. Other advantage of resting upside down with the webs weaved (unlike the spiders) is that one can catch a punch or pun instantaneously without even opening the eyes. (Funny thing about these guys are that they think the voters are also doped and sleepy like them). 
By turning upside down one is relived of disorientation in time, place and person. 
How these people get disorientated of history of our nation is unbelievable. If our politicians can do this once a year instead of once in every six years, their disorientation of the real polity (that set in soon after elections) can be remedied without foreign experts. They do not need to go on foreign sojourns frequently to replenish new ideas. They only have to rest upside down at our site once in a way and the flow of blood to the vital centers are reestablished instantaneously. Only for the disorientated we have a special fruit aroma therapy. 
Since our Vedamahattaya in on the campaign run our Aroma Therapy is fast catching up with the Wavulas. 

So becoming a Political Wavulas is a welcome change to our polity.
 
Another research finding is that our Political Wavulas tend to piggy-back on other political Wavulas (whom they consider the heavy weights on both sides of the divide) and because of their own weight they drop down to earth every fraction of a second losing balance and the hold on the political wing. 
Some of them of course have split brains and flight of ideas (strictly speaking a psychiatric phrase but appropriate for Sri-Lankan politicians) they even do not know which tree they are hanging on specially of the bilingual variety. They are darting from one to the other the inherent disorientation is a common symptom. Some of these varieties have one side of the brain devoted to one affiliation and the other side of the brain to the other affiliation and split brain is the manifestation of this duality not seen elsewhere in the whole universe. Their split brain is a genetic mutation to accommodate all the views in one brain. 
With one side of the brain they shake hand and with the other side they stab you on the back.
  The trilingual variety are so confused they happen to land on our site completely disorientated (we have a special treatment center for orientation- to say they are all Sri-Lankans) and release them immediately to their own freedom, free will and luck. The returning rate we have not yet been estimated. They are so elated that they think that they have won the big match on a plate for the finale. 
We had an opportunity to scan one of their brains and found and there is an appendage growing forward in the neo-brain. We are hopeful that we get a specimen (going by the previous elections) after the election as a free gift for postmortem examination. 
We have devoted a whole section in our laboratory for post election postmortems and we need volunteers to help us.
So  please visit our site at wow.wavula.dot.com and be trained to become a winner every time you hit on the world wide web of lies, damn lies.
 
Postscript;
We need research assistants (plenty of them to analyze all the lies after the poll) to help our research team who are currently tabulating the probable profile of lies in the following categories.
1.notorious
 
2.consummate
 
3.inveterate
 
4.congenital
 
5.chronic
 
6.pathological
 
7.glib
 
8.incorrigible
 
9.unconscionable
 
10.egregious
 
11.double dealing
 
12.double crossing
 
13.wheeler dealing
 
14.mendacity
 
15.perjury
 
16.make believe
 
17.spurious
 
18.bloomer
 
19.fifth column
 
20.lead up the garden path.

I have added new category called nicampop lies of Sri-Lankan origin. 

It is the latest to hit the web market and next president to be of US is eagerly waiting our results.

6th October, 2005