Resume for Heaven

Resume for Heaven

If one wants to go to heaven one has to sacrifice some of the earthly things we are used to.

1. One cannot gossip in heaven.

2. For this reason cell phones are banned totally in heaven.

3. One has to make personal errands in heaven but this has changed with my friend becoming the Chief’s Assistant.

He was a stray dog now born in heaven as the Maha's Assistant.

3. One cannot think in heaven lest one tries to create some new heavens above the current one.

4. They have a high scrutiny when people like Steve Job tries to enter heaven.

I  cannot talk about it here, now.

His application is pending approval.

5. Email was introduced (this is where I got involved in) recently with the present Maha Brahma’s Assistant taking Office.

6. There is only outgoing mails only.

7. Onward post from Earth is banned.

8. I have a Virtual Email Facility by the courtesy of present incumbent.

9. They are not allowed to sleep or dream except the highest of the order of gods when on duty.

The reason for this is that the gods have to be watchful all the time to prevent any undesirable from Earth entering there without scrutiny.

This is about the only job they have to do in heaven.

 Like American and British Visas.

10. Leave is abundant in heaven one can take as much leave as possible and then one can dream as much as possible. 

But unfortunately most of the gods cannot dream well, especially the Chief himself.

Most of the gods, the last dream  they had before entering from any sentinel point in the Universe was going to heaven and once one achieves that target there are no dreams left for them to indulge in.

11. Games are plenty and allowed  all the time but betting is completely banned. 

Apart from email facility one of the reasons they introduced computers  was to play games but war games are completely banned.

12. They are now considering touch system tabloids (without phone facility) to play games and on that ground alone they might consider taking Steve Job to heaven but the entry is still pending and they are waiting for the approval from the real Maha Brahma to return from vacation.

unfortunately his vacations are in eons.

So if you think of going to heaven read my resume carefully before one makes an entry.

It is painfully boring to be a God! 

Mind You; Christian gods are only interested in creating matter, not dark matter.

They have no understanding of the dark matter and dark energy and multi-verse.

Their sphere of influence is one universe at a time. 

They have to wait till it "busts up' by Nuclear Energy (Americans, Iranians and Korean never go to heaven until they abandon the nuclear ambitions).

That is why the current God created, Americans, Koreans and Iranians to bust up things so that they can create "a Worse World" than what it is now.