Granny Award, Nuts and Soya TOFU

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Granny Award

•         I intend to award a “Granny Award” in my mother’s name in her early nineties to any person who come with an English Drama based on the stages mentioned below. 
• The contents are Open Source and are generally under the Linux GPL Convention. 
•  
• 1. Originator Unknown Sri-Lankan Author in his late Nineties (I claim he is not my late father) 
  
• 2. Recent Rendering by a Bookshop Assistant in Kandy who wishes to be anonymous 
• 3. This Edition is by Me (MINIME VERSION) and BABA (one of my dear friends who is no more with us), SAMBA, BIMBA, ZIMBA, SINHA BAR (Lion BAR), ALI (KANDY ELEPHANTS, THE TWOLEGGED VARIETY) and any HORA-BABA (fatherless baby) or any unborn Sri-Lankan Baba (baby) can participate in future developments of this humane animal story (copyleft). 
  
• Currently the Pothe-Guru (story Teller) is me, the current author.
  

The Big DADDY VERSION (the language of communication could be from simple to vulgar depending on the alcohol content) is only for private consumption of my friends especially after a suitable

beverage except the Ceylon Dust TEA (not Tiger Wood’s recent TEE) which I use as manure for ornamental plants.

 

Evam Mesuthan Ekam Samayam (So, said and so heard).

1. I was a privy to Relay Carnival (passing the bucks relay, really fast, like the Hedging Deal and now the Bond Scams) in the Animal (they are more humane and eat only when hungry) Kingdom.I was the only Sri-Lankan selected by an island wide Lottery conducted by the Hela Urumaya (or Hela Karumaya) Surakumu Foundation (HUKU-SUMU for short).

2. I was on holiday in a Forest Reservation (JUNGLE HABITAT).

3. I observe an elderly (prostate enlarged) Peter Rabbit grazing.

4. Jack the Jackal (with financial interests in Sri-Lanka) greedily waiting for an innocent prey.

5. Scene of the Jackal (both hip joints and knee joints are replaced by bionic prosthesis delivered by a Sri-Lankan TELESHOP GIANT on a Plate made of unclaimed Credit Cards-because of his Royal Ancestry) chasing the Rabbit.

6. BLIND forest (Hermen) hermit descend from heaven and lands on a busy Junction (Thun-Man Chinthana Handiya) for free dhana.

7. Rabbit approaching the hermit with break neck speed without a Crash Helmet.

8. Rabbit jumps over hermit visibly shaken up and annoyed.

9. Lands a squirt of Holy (Medical) Water (Urine for short) right on the nose and mouth.

10. Hermit really thinks the water is holy and ascends to a higher Jhana.

11. Jackal approaches the hermit with a bionic speed and put on breaks instantaneously.

12. Jackal licks the nose and face of the hermit.

13. Hermit rudely awakened from his Transient Trance (Transient Ischaemic Attack-TIA).

14. Jackal reprimands the hermit with a nasty comment;

Why don’t you stay a few feet above the ground?

15. Well, I was thinking about my Bank Balance of Merit (PIN-Numbers) in Seylan Bank and settled where I ought to be, was his reply.

16. Well then, did you see a rabbit running this way?

17. Yes, Yes I heard some animal running but I cannot say what species he was but I can very well tell you that he was a male.

18. You say you are a hermit and blind.

How can one see the SEX of an animal running fast in a Meditative Mode?

19. Didn’t the Master tells you, it is an illegal task to think about sex in Meditative Trance?

20. We animals think about sex, only when we are in full sexual flow and not otherwise, he proclaimed.

21. Can you tell me how the BLIND HERMIT instantaneously guessed the SEX of the fast moving passerby?

Help;

Nothing to do with his urine or prostate and it is due to some other reason. Only a Sri-Lankan would be able to guess the ANSWER and it is a common saying when a policeman is chasing a politician who has

committed a traffic offense.

Postscript:
Purva-Bhava Connections

1. The hermit was a Traffic Warden (an active member of Hela Urumaya) who went to heaven instantaneously when hit by a Guy from the Presidential Escort.

2. The rabbit was a monk who went in search of emancipation in Sri-Lankan Parliament and deposited his hard earned money in a private bank.

The Jackal was a Sri-Lanakan Private Banker, better than an American swindler.

I was of course the CNN Reporter Assistant (only doing the editing) of iReportes, using a stolen mobile telephone.
Corollary

Only a male Jackal with large prostate can squirt a healthy vigorous stream while running, and a man cannot. The rabbit in this story did it due to fear and the anger (monk standing on his getaway flight).

A female (liberal woman) will never be able to perform this act even when standing, the future Female US President or probable female candidates included.

Asoka with special Urine Test for the prostate and prostrated Sri-Lankans without a fee.I have excluded the most important Coconuts and Cocoa Nuts in this discussion.

Going Nuts

If one walks along the streets of Kandy or Colombo it is quite obvious how thoughtful all our road users are?

Both drivers and pedestrian are all in a mighty hurry?

It looks as every body is on a hitchhike and the situation is free for all.

Nobody seems to spare a thought for another.

It looks as if all of them have gone nuts.

Whether they have gone nuts or not what I would like to talk about is not the nuts and bolts inside one’s skull but the nuts that we eat with our bites.

The amount of money we spent to keep our spirits high on holidays may be a bonanza for the exchequer but a bit of nuts with the spirits that one consumes might keep one’s health in trim condition without

any help from the doctor. All nuts come from plants and are cholesterol-free.

They are rich in mono and polyunsaturated fats and help lower cholesterol. They are high in folate (prevent hardening of blood vessels) and help lower blood homocysteine levels and more importantly blood pressure and thereby reduce the risk of heart

attacks. Soybeans are extremely low in saturated fat and free of cholesterol.

Consuming 25 grams of soy protein daily has shown to lower blood cholesterol. Beyond cholesterol reduction, soy foods may favorably affect other risk factors for heart disease (i.e., makes arteries more flexible). Therefore, soy may be helpful for everyone, not just those with high cholesterol. The B vitamin they contain helps the metabolism of alcohol and that is an added advantage for the regular users (I mean alcohol).

Eating lot of meats with alcohol is a bit of a myth that we carry on from our early days. Valuable potassium, magnesium and copper are all linked to heart health and probably nuts replace most of the salt losses that result from alcohol-induced diuresis. One can go on and on, with the benefits of these plant products which include various phytoproteins and phytochemicals (plant proteins and plant chemicals) and the antioxidant Vitamin E (also heart protective). If with the holiday consumption of alcohol cannot be cut down a bit of nuts might save one’s nut in posterity. Additionally extra sweets that one indulges in holiday time soy may be a blessing in disguise. Soy foods may slow absorption of glucose into the bloodstream. May also protect against damaging effects of glucose-induced oxidation, common in people with diabetes.

The only controversial area probably is its content of

phytooestrogens and I had the belief that it may in one-day help very elderly with prostate cancer. Limited data available indicate that it may be so. For the very old who enjoy a bit of spirits having few soy nuts may be desirable after all.

Soy contains high levels of the phytoestrogens (also known as isoflavones) genistein and daidzein, which mimic and sometimes block the hormone oestrogen.

I had my reservation of soya milk for children and this reservation may have to be extended for girls going through their puberty because of its high content of phytooestrogens.

But that reservation cannot be extended to the elderly females. Apart from some beneficial effects of post-menopausal symptoms the soy protein helps conserve body calcium better than that of animal protein. Compounds in soy called isoflavones may simultaneously increase bone formation while decreasing bone breakdown.

The next question is what the best nut for the purpose?

We have a narrow selection. Peanuts, cashew nuts and soy nuts are the ones available and unfortunately the cashew nuts are not within the reach of our purse

nowadays. Since all the foreign nuts are expensive I go for the soy nuts. It is pertinent to talk little about the soy nuts since it is comparatively cheap and readily available because of its high nutritive value (proteins). I had my reservation about soy because of high aluminum content but 20 years ago when I was searching for the reason there was no literature available. Now it appears the aluminum came from the tanks (aluminum) used in soy preparation. It was common sense that aluminum kitchenware is not safe but why the researchers kept this as a secret for so long if not to kill the soy industry (just like the way coconut industry was sabotaged) is obvious.

Now that the bio-diesel is emerging, if the food industry is not destroyed by it (now, before it is firmly established in the West) the price of soy nut is going to go up since production cannot keep pace with the demand. Surely peanut price is going to go up.

I am relaxing my reservation little by little. For children the best milk is the breast milk and I have no reason to change that and I do not recommend soya milk for children. There is concern for mercury in soymilk and this is probably as a result of some contamination down the production chain. There should not be any concern about soy yogurt. The choice of nuts depends on the price and the availability.

Cocktail of nuts is probably the best choice.

For price soy beats all the other nuts in price.

It is probably the best nut commercially exploited in our set up.

All nuts have common features than not.

A few differences set some apart from others. Walnuts are highest in omega-3 fatty acids (also found in fatty fish), popular for helping lower cholesterol. Almonds are good source of calcium. Brazil nuts are high in the antioxidant selenium, linked to helping prevent some

cancers. Chestnuts have the least calories and fat, while macadamia nuts have the most. Dry-roasted nuts have the same fat and calories as oil roasted. Nut butters have the same nutritional advantages as nuts. Peanuts are similar to other nuts nutritionally, but are part of the legume family, which includes dried beans and peas. Fortunately the high fat content of nuts makes them very filling, helping curb hunger for long periods of time. An ounce or two a day of nuts or nut butters is all you need for valuable health benefits.

Health Canada recommends we enjoy at least two plant based, vegetarian meals per week; hopefully nuts will find a place in your home.

2nd of January 2006