Granny Award

Granny Award
 

This is an old piece rendered to suit current political climate in Ceylon

I intend to award a ‘Granny Award” in my mother’s name who is in her early nineties (please note she is no more, I thank God for early departure) to any person who comes up with an English Drama based on the stages mentioned below.

The contents are “Open Source” authorized generally under Linux GPL Convention.
 

1. Originator, unknown Ceylonese author in his late nineties (I claim he is not my father).
 

2. Rendering by a bookshop assistant who wishes to be anonymous.
 

3. This edition is by me (mini-me version) and Baba (one of my dear friends who is no more with us) version, Samba, Bimba, Zimba, Sinha Bar (Lion Bar), Ali Baba (Kandy Elephants) and Hora Baba versions or any Ceylonese Unborn Baba version can participate in future development of this animal story (copyleft).

The Big Daddy version is only for private consumption of my friends, especially after a suitable spirit beverage from abroad not with Ceylonese Dust Tea (not Tiger Wood’s illegal TEE).

Currently the “Pothe Gura” is me the current author.

Evam Mesutham Ekam Samyam!

So said and so heard.
 

1. I was privy to a Relay Carnival (passing the buck, really fast, like the hedging deal) in the Animal Kingdom (they are more humane and eats only when hungry).
 

I was the only Ceylonese selected by an island wide Lottery conducted by Hela Karumaya or Urumaya Surekuma Undertakers (HUKU-SUMU for short).
 

2. I was on holiday in a Forest Reservation (Jungle Habitat) or what is left of it.
 

3. I observe an elderly (prostate enlarged) Peter Rabbit grazing.
 

4. Jack the Jackal (with financial interests in Ceylon and USA) greedily waiting for an innocent prey.
 

5. Scene of Jackal chasing the Rabbit (both hip joints replaced by bionic prothesis delivered by a Television Giant of Ceylon).
 

6. Blind Forest Hermit (Herman Hermit) descends from heaven and land on a busy Tri-Way  Junction (Thun Man Handiya)
 

7. Rabbit approaching the hermit in break neck speed without a crash helmet.
 

8. Rabbit jumps over the hermit visibly shaken up and annoyed.
 

9. Lands a squirt of Holy Water (urine for short) right on the nose and mouth.
 

10. Hermit really thinks that the water is  really “Holy” has come from heaven and ascends to a Lower Jhana.
 

11. Jackal approaches the hermit at the junction with bionic speed and put on breaks and crashes.
 

12. Jackal licks the nose and face of the hermit.
 

13. Hermit attains a Higher Jhana.
 

14. The angry Jackal then takes a little bite of the forehand of the hermit.
 

15. Hermit is rudely awakened from his Transient Ishaemic Attack (T.I.A).
 

16. Jackal reprimands the hermit.
 

“Why don’t you stay few feet above the ground”.
 

17. Well, I was thinking about my Bank Balance of Merit (Pin with a PIN number) in Seylan Bank and settle where I ought to be was his answer.
 

18.“Well then, did you see a rabbit running this way?”
 

19. Yes, Yes, I heard an animal running past but I cannot say what species he is but I can very well tell you he is a male.
 

20. You say you are a hermit and blind.

How can you see the sex of the animal running fast in your meditative mode.
 

How come?
 

21.  didn’t the master tell you, it is inappropriate and illegal to think about SEX in meditative trance.
 

22. We animals think of sex, only when we are in full flow and not otherwise jackal proclaimed.
 

23. Can you tell how the blind hermit instantly guessed the sex of of the fast moving passerby?

The rabbit whispered a phrase to the hermit while passing which is what a guy chased by the policeman in Ceylon says in retreat!

Help;
Nothing to do with urine or prostate gland and due to some other reason.
 

Postscript:

Purva-Bhava Connection
 

1. The hermit was a traffic warden, an active member of Hela Urumaya who went to heaven for a short stay and regressed back to earth for more merits.
 

2. The rabbit was a monk who went in search of emancipation to Ceylon parliament and deposited his hard earned “Pin Keta” money in a private bank.
 

3. The jackal was a Private Banker in Ceylon, better than an American swindler.
 

4. I was the CNN Reporter Assistant (only doing editing) of I-Reports.
 

Corollary
Only a male jackal with large prostate can squirt a healthy vigorous stream while running an a human cannot.

The rabbit in this story did it due to fear.