Gratitude and Reciprocation of Cricket (Kala Guna Salakeema)

This idea is not mine but a typical Sri-Lankan satirist's expression about our cricketers and cricket board.

His ranking is different but he is genuinely polite.

I am not going to be polite.

My ranking order is different.

I may pay gratitude to those who derserve.

1. Australia comes first.

We lost to Australia in cricket as a reciprocation of following dues.

Australia made our cricketers tough and we ended up champions in 1996.

Australia gave our Eurasians (Burgher Community) dignity and gave them refuge from Sinhala Basha hegemony and current Buddhist hegemony.

S.W.R.D destroyed our country's peace!

Australia is the best country to emigrate from Ceylon.

Expatriates are treated equally.

They give due respect to Aborigines.

They give equal dignity to all religions.

Venerable Ajan Brahma Wansa was spirited out of UK. Now, he is resident in Western Australia.

While doing all these they keep their Australian identity and the thick accent.

I met a young Australian guy in Sheffield University.
Sheffield has a sweet Yorkshire accent of Freddie Truman type.
I had the unadulterated Ceylonese accent. He did not engage in free conversation at all. It did not take my imagination to realize that, for him the Yorkshire and English accent were foreign.
I can imitate British accent but did not throughout my entire stay.

My / Our secretaries used to tell me, you speak clear English to the dictaphone but we hate Indian accent.

Fourte Fours four wickets type of Sunil Gavaskar.


2. South Africa

It was Nelsan Mandela who showed us stoicism.
Tolerance
Respect
Understanding

In cricket lot to write.

Basil Lewis D'Oliveira incident and banning from cricket for 22 years was important.

Then 25 guys from Ceylon toured South Africa and if I remember right Mahesh Gunathileka was banned from cricket for 25 years.

He joined CTC and later the cigarette advertisements were banned in sports.

He was an excellent opener even better than Maven Attapattu in my opinion. I used to drop in at his place while working in Kegalle.

My classic personality is Shaun Pollock who read the Duckworth Lewis system wrong and SA was eliminated from semifinals.

We qualified.

So as a gratitude to all this we must lose to South Africa.

3. Pakistan

Unlike India Pakistan had been with us all along.

Pakistan pilots did sorties to eliminate L.T.T.E.

They give us Basmati Rice.

When West Indies refused to tour Ceylon, Pakistan organized warm up matches for us.

Special thanks to Mohamed Azurdeen, Indian captain.

By the way, Indira Gandhi and RAW was responsible for L.T.T.E. atrocities.

So we will have to let Pakistan win.


4. Afghanistan

I cannot say anything good about Afghanistan.

They destroyed all the Buddhist  Statues.

Afghanistan was a Buddhist country and Tibetan Buddhism survived until Mongol invasion.

I think current  misguided Buddhist monks may obtain money donations from Afghanistan to erect replicas in Ceylon.

Talibans currently won't let woman to educate (treat them as slaves).

It is worse than apartheid and on that ground alone they should be banned from cricket for 5 years.


5. England

England gave us cricket and on that ground alone we should lose to England.

England gave us English.

England gave us independence without a fight.

Thank you England.

Worst Immigration policy in the world.

When I applied for  tourist tour in 2009 they declined.

I was working in UK for over a decade and I had Indefinite Visa and did not go there within 3 years. So they cancelled my indefinite visa.

I will never go there again.

I saved a lot money by visiting an Asian country.


6. Netherland or Holland

If I remember correct they build low lying water canals in Colombo, Ceylon to transport goods.

They told us how to brew good quality alcohol.

Thank you akvavit!

So our cricketers should taste a can of Danish alcoholic drink to calm the nerves before coming in for batting.

By the way, Holland gave administrative structure to the coastal region.

We even have thier names in our surnames.

Janz
Jansen
Van de Berg
Loos
De Jong


7.  Bangladesh

We cannot balance our budget without Bangladesh help.

We have to lose the match and ask for reduction in interest rate we have to pay.

Muslims do not ask for interest when they lend to a Muslim country.


8. New Zealand

We love New Zealand powered milk.
So on that ground we should forfeit our game to NZ.

Regarding New Zealand accent I have some memories.

I used to walk to the hospital.
I meet guys and girls on my way.

Dog shit all the way to the hospital and I walk with meditative attention.

I say Good Morrning.

I hear,

Ku De.  is Umbrella in my tongue!

Go De. is village guy in my tongue!

Then I ask my little daughter, What is it?

She says, Good Day.

I tell her to keep clear Ceylonese accent.

Improve your English.

When I am short of a word in English, she is always there to help me.

9. India

India created L.T.T.E.

With fear of possible another terrorist organization coming to being, we must lose to India.

Worse is the Indian accent in an Indian Airline.

I went to Bombay only once since I missed the Singapore connection to London.

There were Malaria mosquitoes in Bombay Airport. 

Guys and girls Malaria can come after one year of incubation.

Mind you Indian Malaria is chloroquine resistant.

With South Africans in India WHO should do a follow up study on Malaria!


10. Ceylon

Seyland Bank is a derivative of Ceylon.

Lalith Kothalawela taught us how to cheat internationally.

LK's  money was cheated by late president just like he cheated the gold from L.T.T.E.

Gold was never deposited in the Central Bank but the Swarnawahini Channel and Swarnawahini gold chains came into existence.

By the way, Suwarnawahini is owned currently by Tamil diaspora.

I think they deserve it.