Yes, to Chocolates but not to Cola is my Motto

Yes to Chocolates but not to Cola is my Motto

This is the message that I should convey to the young and the old.

First, with some personal experiences of us as young parents in UK and the encounter we had with Coca Cola. My children were addicted to Cola and my British colleague who opened my eyes to the addiction of my kids to the derivative of cocaine, cola drink possesses. Itconstitutes as anatural permitted ingredient. That made me to do some search on the cola leaf. Even, the tiny bit of coca extract in the syrup has cocaine and it is continued to be an ingredient in the syrup in order to protect the trade name "Coca Cola" for a long time so that the company became a house hold name in Americas. Things have changed significantly but during the promotional campaigns,       

I have reason to believe the promoters increase the concentration of the syrup so that some would get addicted to the brand name. That much is enough for Cola and the Americanism and their market principles.

Currently, Bolivians are asking for free franchise of cocaine as a national industry.

Now to the cocoa nut.

Whenever, I get a new job abroad and whenever, I have a friendly discussion over the dinner table, I always raise the issue that the Westerners have   a sweet tooth and eating chocolates is bad for two reasons.

One is because of the sugar content and the other my own Ceylonese secret invention of cocoa.  It is my April fool, long before the April fool's day.

I tell them in a very scientific way, that we suck the seeds of cocoa before drying them on sunlight.     The scientific secret is that the digestive enzymes in our saliva digest the outer coat in such a way to get the best quality cocoa to be produced in Ceylon for export.         

I do not think any cocoa trees left in our country. The cocoa powder is imported from Africa and I go on to say we have Infectious Hepatitis in Ceylon and it is risky to eat chocolates. 

I did a good thing before leaving Ceylon. One of my distant relatives, elderly brother had a few coco plants in his land. I needed a few cocoa plants for my roof top garden "orchid house". I use the coco plant to hang the orchids. Coco pant has a thick bark that is conduce for orchids. Besides cocoa plant encourages the fiery black ants that support my orchids. I encourage black ants since they demolish fiery red ants. Due to my negligence the big cocoa plant had an unnatural death and the the young one was not big enough to support my orchids. 

Dual disaster.

So I asked him for a few seeds. He told me he needs about 6 weeks to prepare the seeds. We met him in Kandy over a good lunch and big chat. I got the seeds but could not plant them. I handed them to a guy who used to help me and said I am leaving to Australia in three months and I need at least two plans in two plant pots, before I leave. I left within a month and did not have the plants.    In any case, I was to return home within three months.

My relative left to Canada 6 weeks after me and I hope the helper guy would plant a few of the cocoa plants in his plot of land.

Whenever they offer me chocolates I flatly refuse the offer reminding of them of hepatitis. This is the way, I take my turn for the rigmarole that I have to go through of all the vaccinations, chest X-rays and medical check ups which I have to undergo whenever, I get a new job abroad and before commencing work.

Little they suspect that it is a made up story and I go on to say that during coca cola campaigns, the company imports a special brand of essence from America that the Company Chairman himself prepares, in his private bath. I go onto say the essence is put in the tub and the chairman does the tempering with his feet, like in vine making and the real taste of coco cola is from the sweat of the his feet. I go on to say the sweat he shed for his company is phenomenal judging by the company's sale figures.

This is something, I probably got from Arthur Buchwald’s writings and a slight hint for my friends that there is some exaggeration and pun involved, in my scientific story. 

If they have had read him, they would have guessed the pun.

Arthur "Art" Buchwald

Arthur "Art"Buchwald (October 20, 1925 January 17, 2007) was an American humorist best known for his long running column in The Washington Post, which in turn was carried as a syndicated column in many other newspapers. His column focused on political satire and commentary. He received the Pulitzer Prize for Outstanding Commentary in 1982 and in 1986 was elected to the American Academy and Institute of Arts and Letters.

So within a week I put them off of two of their favorite food items.

I have taken my revenge for the extra medical checks they have gone through myself and my family every time we go out. No wonder, I have not gone out for a long time.

For about three month I carry on this ploy religiously and in due course, I get caught eating chocolates somewhere in a supermarket or an open place.

YOU are a Cheat and I find YOU eat chocolates, surreptitiously.

I would say this is a special brand and it is hermetically   (I do not understand the meaning of the word) prepared or something to that effect so as,         “not to caught”.

Finally, I bare open, the truth when enough people start suspecting me. Then I buy them loads of chocolates for being good sport.

The chocolates and a sample of its virtues is given below.