Sunday, April 7, 2013

Another Dream-Holy Water


Another Dream-Holy Water
Part of this is a dream and part of it is not a dream but I won’t tell which is which, one has to figure out which is which.
Let me dish it out.
There was a hermit levitating on a T-Junction in this country.
Which part of the country is a top secret (destination), only the defense establishment knows it.
Denomination of the hermit one has to guess and by higher order decree I am not supposed to declare (this order is not from Maha Brahma the Greatest).
This hermit is blind but has a wonderful ear for gossip.
Fortunately the story starts with a rabbit.
He was running and in full flight to escape from a funny fox called Lyon Fox of international repute.
This fox is four legged and certainly not two legged variety one sees in our parliament.
He was on full flight and suddenly came across the blind hermit sitting right across his path at the T-Junction.
He took a giant leap and had a direct spray of his number 1 on the face of the hermit in meditation mode.
A full blown watery paint packed with androids which one does not need even a brush to paint.

Jet spray of the rabbit did it. 
Oh, Holy Water said the hermit.
What nonsense, this hermit must be totally blind and then the rabbit said loudly, “the fox won’t catch not even my Ata Deaka” and thought to himself, I am lucky this hermit is blind lest he might reroute the fox in my direction.
In a little later, the fox came in fully exhausted put his Ferrodo Brake in front of the hermit and politely asked the hermit did you see a rabbit coming this way?
I would n’t know but what I know is that he is a male, the hermit replied.
What a revelation fox talked to himself and he sprayed his landmark paint on the hand of the hermit that was stretching downward (pointing to earth and not to right or left) expecting it to direct in the direction of the way the rabbit took.
The hermit said Oh, Holy Water for the second time, what a a lucky day for me in meditation.
The hermit took a little bit of “not so holy water” from the other hand and applied on his top thinking that in no time he will be in Jhana or Trance state.
Fox was bemused and looked up and sniffed to realize that the rabbit's urine was on the hermit’s face and not on the ground for him to trace the path of the rabbit.
He moved up confused not knowing that the hermit was blind or gone mad due to the scorching heat (due to global warming).
Then when the hermit was almost in trance state a very prominent Imam came with his hat in his hand and asked the hermit “could you hide my hat for a few minutes”.
Why should I hide your hat I probably would wear it and it is very hot know?
That is for you to decide and please be discreet about it.
Why?
There is a Buddhist monk and an army deserter is coming after me.
Why?
Simply because I am wearing this hat.
What will happen if I wear it for YOU.
I would not know but please be discreet about it.
Have you got Holy Water with you?
I had two incidents of “Holy Water, sprayed on my face and hand and if I get the third dose of Holy Water, I might even attain a higher level of meditation.
We are not supposed to drink Holy Water but you may ask the army deserter who is coming this way and he took his leave and entered the path which the fox took.
Then the army deserter came in and stopped at the T-Junction and asked the hermit directing his bayonet up “did you see a man wearing a hat”.
He said no.
Don’t con?
I am blind but he did come this way and left very quickly.
I see.
Shall I give you the HAT?
What HAT?
The hat he was wearing?
I do not want his hat but I want the man, the army deserter replied.
As he was leaving, the hermit asked for Holy Water and the ex-army man, said.
No problem, Sir, here is the pouch.
You can have all of it.
Thank you Sir, the hermit said.
Before he could sip a bit of the Holy Water, the monk with his saffron cloth tugged up came in.
Did you see a man wearing a HAT?
I would not know?
You Cheat said the monk and proceeded up.
As he was leaving the hermit said,
If you take the path the army deserter took you will have Non Halal Meat.
If you take the path the man without a HAT went, you are sure to get Halal Meat.
Confused the monk took the path which the army deserter took.
Then after a while a Catholic Priest came in looking for his Holy Water.
He stopped at the T-Junction.
Took his hat off.
Exchanged pleasantries and said he was coming after the ex-army man but he could not keep pace with him.
Which direction did he go.
I would not know?
But I can give you the Holy Water and the Pouch with the Inscribed (USA) Bottle.
How come?
He told him it was a very successful Meditation Day and he had Holy Water for the third time.
That calls for celebrations, said the priest.
They consumed what was left of the Holy Water and in a little while both of them were in high heaven without any meditative effort.
They parted in a little while and the Catholic Priest thank the hermit profusely for the company and the lost and found inscribed HOLY bottle.
In parting he said I would have lost the Diocese if I did not replace it by next Sunday.
No problem, said the hermit and if you drop in this way please bring some more Holy Water and I do not care in which bottle it comes in.
No problem said the Catholic Priest, shall I bring Ata Atack to go with it.
THANK YOU.

PS. 
This I did not want to send it to Maha Brahma but with some hindsight, I did send it for his perusal.
For the first time I had a barrage of questions from him and less of a interpretation.
Questions were;
1. What is this Halal?
2. Why do you wear a hat?
3. What is holy water?
4. What is Ata Deaka?
5. What is Ata Ata?
6. What is inscription?
7. What is T-junction?
8. What is Ferrodo Brake?
9. What is diocese
10.What is Holy Bottle?
And many more mundane questions.
This is the first time I got such a audience from Maha the Greatest, I decided to include the answers in my book, the third edition of Dreams and not in a blog post.
Only problem is I still have not found a proper cover photograph for the book.
After a little soul searching, I decided to put a photo of a Chameleon.
That foots the bill in my belief, since as a Sri-Lankan I have to change my colour instantly depending on to whom I relate my day to day problems.
I am going to wear several hats (not Prof De Bono's Hats) with multi-coloured layers (Skins) and shed layer by layer, like what reptiles do.
 Shedding a layer of skin from time to time.