Raindrops and Coconut Palm

I asked some of my students to list 10 important points about coconut tree as a creative thinking exercise and I couldn't get anyone of them to think it as related to mother nature.

Then I told them we are the only animal species on planet earth who behave like aliens.

The coconut tree purifies the water and present us a drink superior to saline that we inject as a life support in an emergency. In the second world war it was used as saline substitute when things were in short supply. 

How they did I do not know but it is a hearsay!

It gives us water to drink.

It cleans the carbon foot print of ours by taking in CO2 and releasing O2.

The two most important things the animal life needs for its survival but yet we forget to mentioned them but obsessed with coconut milk and coconut oil.

Why?

We tend to think we are the only important living animal on this planet.

We are the only selfish animals on this planet.

That is true and will remain true for the current century unless we open ourselves to creative thinking and awareness of our mother nature.

We build houses.

We build roofs to protect us from rain and sun.

If we take the plant kingdom.

The story is different.

It lives by the day under sunlight but rest by night but never sleeps.

It takes rain as survival god never complains if there is snow or frost

They are in constant touch with air currents and the wind

They are in harmony with all physical elements.

Remain and stay put for another day come sun or rain what it may.

When rain drops fall on the roof and runs through the gutters if makes a constant and a big racket and and I even find it difficult to sleep at night.

But when rain drops falls on tree tops and leaves there is no rackety pitch.

We only hear the wind blowing but raindrops hardly make a noise. They gently touch the leaf surface and trickle down gently to the soil. No big gush and the roots soaks in as much so that the water that seeps out is clear.

But on a rainy day in a city we see all rubbish and mud that comes out of the gutters and frequently see minor floods all over the place till the rain ceases.

There are no tress with roots to soak the extra water.

Coming back to coconut tree it leaves take the water in a peculiar way not sen in other smaller leaves. The peculiar way it handles water make it and excellent covering for roofs and thatched coconut leaves that used to cover the village huts did not make a big racket on a rainy day but the asbestos sheets that cover us now are totally different and alien to mother nature.

Mind you the coconut tree takes all the shocks of thunder and lightening too.

If not many of us would be dead by lightening.

The golden rule was not to rest under a tall tree in a thunder storm.

None of these came out of my students creative thinking exercise.

What the hell the education system is doing to them in schools and university?

I do not know.

It is said that even in America in the first two years in the university they do not gain any extra incites or creativity.

Why?

Education is now a money spinner.

No more creativity left in it now.

Make money when going is good but leave the students without opportunities.

Coconut Tales of Tail Spin and the Windshield of Whirlwind

Coconut tree which lives over 50 years of productive life sometimes more than 80 years if left untarnished by human activity lives behind a tell tale story of the weather beaten life. If one looks at a human face at 80 (eighty) it leaves behind a sad tale of wrinkles but never leave behind the tale of destruction he or she has caused over his or her life time. On the contrary, the coconut tree tells us all the rough times it has had over the years, if we look at the way the trunk had twisted and turned against the air current around it.
In fact it can tell the exact time of the last grand cyclone it had managed to withstand on its own.

Unlike the human they are a barometer of wind currents of today and tomorrow.

If one looks at its leaves, the gentle rustle they create with the wind and how it raises a rhyming tune with some alarming whirring of a whirlwind, foretelling a thunderstorm that is about to land is something we have taken for granted but never given thought in any scientific manner.

We take it for granted that the water is abundant but at the same time pollute it in every possible way from Adams peak to the sea.

The same story is true for the coconut tree.

It is vandalized to the stem and we cry hard only when the coconuts go high in price but never cared to listen to its story and the windshield it creates on a daily basis.

My observation days back to my childhood inquiry not necessarily based on any scientific themes. If I wanted to fly a kite I look at the coconut trees and their leaves and then bring out the kite if I consider the conditions are favorable.

Then I get to a place where I can get the kite over the coconut trees quickly and off I go with the wind.

I never paused to think what a service it does as a wind breaker.

This little piece is to finally put to rest and peace of my mind with the wind physics (theory) of biological nature and facts which I call the biophysics of coconut saga.

I should have done this decades ago!

Not only the coconut tree stands to the wind upright but it divide the wind to upstream high and a downstream gentle for us to live in peace. This we forget when we chop it for fast growing development and consumption as timber.

It is the scene of coconut trees that touches my heart when the plane lands on Katunayake. It was strikingly beautiful 30 years ago but now we see s few coconut trees near the airport and the sudden thud of landing.

The landing is also not as smooth as it used to be.

I even go to the extend of saying that the planes used to land smoothly due to the coconut plantation driving the unnecessary tailspin and head wind currents well above the plane as it touches down making it easy for the pilots.

I wish our veteran pilots do some study on this keeping in mind those who were on service during the second world war II might know it better than the present day autopilot youngsters.

Coconut tree is a wind breaker and a windshielder.

Of course it will provide its trunks to climb when the next tsunami comes if we start growing thousands and thousand of them around our beeches instead of polluting hotels that divert the sewerage to the sea.

This is my wishful thinking but I am sure more trees will be down to move the fast development trends of our political mights.

Good Bye my friend windshield and welcome thy whirlwind!

LibreOffice is Out- Enjoy the Freedom

This is an Update of LibreOffice

Straight from Softpedia

As we speak, OpenOffice.org is being replaced by the new LibreOffice suite in many Linux distributions, including KNOPPIX, Pardus and Ubuntu.

LibreOffice 3.3.0 comes with lots of original and new features, such as:

· ability to work with and import SVG files;
· import filter for Lotus Word Pro documents;
· import filter for Microsoft Works documents;
· easily format title pages and numbering in LibreOffice Writer;
· enhanced Navigator Tool in LibreOffice Writer;
· better ergonomics for cell and sheet management in LibreOffice Calc;
· PDF import support;
· slide-show presenter console;
· better report builder;
· comes bundled with lots of great extensions.

We are excited: this is our very first stable release, and therefore we are eager to get user feedback, which will be integrated as soon as possible into the code, with the first enhancements being released in February. Starting from March, we will be moving to a real time-based, predictable, transparent and public release schedule, in accordance with Engineering Steering Committee's goals and users' requests." - said Caolán McNamara from RedHat

Tail Spins and Tail Wagging

The tail wagging period is over.
Now it is the time of tail spinning.
It is like that of a gecko ready to pounce on a meal.
What if the tail spins with the tail wind of an aircraft in full flight.
Nothing much one can do except till the first flight officer says now you can loosen your seat belt and the turbulence is over and we are free flying again in high altitude with clear visibility.
The market forces are so powerful and food prices are going up by the minute and the poor voter who wagged his tail expecting miracles are left with their head and tail spinning on opposite direction.
His visibility is not clear as seen by our local reports of price of food items
The flight attendant of course can readily dispense face towels to clean the sweat of fright in mid air but there is nobody to calm the political gloom in the air.

Tail Spin

What if the tail spins by a tail wind of an aircraft?
Chop the tail like a gecko and exit fast!

Yes Man's Luck and the Pedigree Dog's Exit

 Yes Man's Luck and the Pedigree Dog's Exit

You might not realize that the pelican's misadventure with our yes man has resulted in some interesting chain of events.

He tuned up immediately at the heaven's doorstep with a certificate not signed and left blank by our pelican.

It was soon checked to see whether it was authentic and was found to be a true copy given by our pelican.

He had to stay till pelican returned from earth from his routine rounds for further verification.

In the meantime the Maha's Assistant let him sort out the mail and the documents for the next round of delivery.

His demeanor was very appealing to him and asked the yes man whether he could be an assistant to him for three or four days till pelican returns.

True to his nature he said yes, yes.

Eventually pelican returned and when he was asked whether he knew about the yes man.

Or Yes he is my yes man and when I asked him whether he is ready to die without any hesitation he said yes and that was why he had to abruptly stop his training in mid air.

Given some training he could fly any plane anywhere with at least three more pilots provided that he does not manipulate the flying gear but coordinate his actions with the air hostesses at the rear at meal times was his reply,

With this recommendation Maha's Assistant was very impressed.

When Maha gave a call from vacation to ask how the things are at heaven, assistant told him the story of the yes man and asked whether he could take some leave and appoint the yes man in his absence.

Maha asked why not leave altogether and return to earth and learn some tricks from Paraya dogs so that you can follow suit just like the clever Paraya dog who attained Nibbana with no entry request.

Besides. you have been very helpful to me and this is the longest vacation I have had in all my life and you have found a suitable candidate to take your reins, I have no more questions from you and said Good Bye and Good Luck till we see again from earth may be in about 15 years time.

Our pedigree dog turned Maha's Assistant soon afterward call our yes man and asked him whether he is ready to take over.

He promptly said yes.

Just before he left he told him, you are Maha's Assistant and nothing more.

I knew it from the very beginning Sir he said.

How come?

You never took responsibility and let others take responsibility of your actions and that is the type of job I was looking forward and comfortable.

I could never take responsibility on earth and neither in heaven too, he said.

You are too good to be here and this arrangement is mutual and when you do come back here I will say yes to anything you ask including the job back.

No dear, I now have a better strategy than that but I have to learn the finer points from a Paraya dog.

The last Paraya dog whom I met was so clever before I could ask any help he was gone with the wind.

I have to meet some of his relatives in Sri-Lanka and will be back soon in about 15 years.

Till then Good Bye.

As he went he heard somebody saying Yes Sir!

Pelican Story

He was an ex-income tax officer who was seen as good choice for help for Mahana Brahma's Assistant not only as a Flying Officer but also as a delivery man. 
Pelicans are known to deliver babies to mums at least when the second one arrives unexpectedly and the first one born asks the silly question from where the hell the second one came.

The pelican come into operational requirement of mothers often in the West but not so much here in Sri-Lanka.

In this context as a delivery man he does not have to deliver babies but all what he has to do is to drop baskets full of documents to sea often containing false declarations made by expectant candidates for their next round of birth and to get favours from Maha Brahma's Assistant.

When he thinks something is cooked up especially coming from Sri-Lanka, the assistant delvers them to the pelican to be dropped to sea so that the ink and all the forgeries are wiped out by the ocean currents ( the ocean can take any rubbish come what it may).

On his return pelican has to pick few of them back to heaven and the assistant checks to see if any merits are left tangled with the soggy paper and if not delivers them straight to Appaya (AI) International with a tag number for prompt action.

At AI the soggy paper is irradiated with UV light and then a special black ink is sprayed and that is when all the Papa Karmas are exposed for my equation to take cognizant and automatic reprisal by Apaya authorities.

Unlike in the heaven my equation has to be modified when new crimes like that are committed by American investors and speculators are discovered.

Very severe scrutiny is done unlike the Federal Regulators of USA.

The pelican is the go between the Apaya and the Heaven.

In some cases when the documents are landed on high ground or floating ice there is a chance some might escape the sea currents and get a respite but if they are discovered on a subsequent birth it is not the pelican who is punished but the holder of the certificate.

Pelican has no jurisdiction in matters of merits and demerits but only a go between and a mechanism of delaying merits or demerits so that backlog is prevented at the any entry point be that it may be Apaya or Heaven.

Pelican navigation skill are considered to be complimentary to the operational mechanics.

How he became a trainer Flying Officers was purely an accident by meeting our crab and the tortoise at the lake side.

He was offered foreign currency initially by the Air Marshal but when he decided to pay that in Sri-Lankann equivalent of Rupees he really got annoyed since neither Apaya nor Heaven recognize Sri-Lankan Rupees.

That is why he deserted the Flying Operations in mid air.

I have suggested to remedy this situation soon with a plastic card that automatically converts itself of the credit balance to the currency type moment the airspace of the country is entered but there are few navigational glitches / hitches when the pelican decides to stay in border zones like Palk Straight and the likes.

It is currently worn around the pelican neck and it has dual responsibility of location guide and a currency conversion. Once it is tested to Apaya satisfaction it will be used by our pelican and he may decide to return to his substantive post on Earth but that is all at his discretion.

How come the pelican becoming a Flying Trainer?

The pelican was his annual pilgrimage to Ceylon to avoid harsh winter and got trapped in the Batticoloa floods and was waiting to devour some unfortunate sea fish that have come ashore. When he was about to partake the first mouthful of fish in came the Tortoised Chief Minister (TCM) from nowhere and warned him not to do so.

He was puzzled.

I have been eating fish all my life how dare you intervene in my cuisine.

Brother do not be annoyed.

Be calm.

I will tell you the reason.

They are poisoned by accident and not by purpose or design.

We got a consignment of food for flood victims from UNO and in the transport of it on a vehicle with fertilizer by some strange coincidence the bags' label changed from UNO to USA and a certain politician in Colombo decided that they were no good for human consumption and not even for animals.

Then the local politician requested that they were to be dumped into sea.

The transport man designed a coup.

The food items were quickly changed hands with a label UREA and UREA was changed to USA by substituting S for EA. Then only a few UREA bags that contained deadly cadmium were dumped with political acumen to the sea in front of starving residents and they were asked to go fishing in troubled waters!

So you may now go fishing in troubled waters!

The pelican was visibly annoyed.

I traveled over 8000 miles to land hear on my holidays and you guys spoil it for me.

Don't you people advertise come here and tither?

Sorry for the misadventure it would have been a different story if the weather gods did not intervene.

The TCM said in a quiet voice.

You may go down further and find another island he suggested.

There are no islands till Antarctica and I haven't got the strength to fly that far.

Then he asked are you good in navigation.

Yes of course and if I may ask you why you raised that question?

Even though I am here I still have some connection with the Air Force Top Brass and I can fix you a job with them till spring with full on board service.

He was not happy but picked the crab instead and took to flight and landed on a tree top.

He tried hard to pierce the shell bone but could not and in with anger dumped the fellow down but it landed with a thud and turned upside up downside down and side tracked safely to water.

This he has never seen before and went back to the now friendly TCM and asked how come the shell of a Sir-Lankan crab is so hard?

Elementary my dear!

He was in charge of my armed car when in service.

He was also in charge of making service to my vehicle with three quotation which is the usual practice.

He was given the bullet proof metal sample for verification.

He without my knowledge changed the specification to inferior quality metal and hid the real metal sample under his helmet and pocketed out the contract extras.

Then in the final blast of which we all died in an unfortunate accident the metal got stuck to his skin.

He is a hard nut in any case and difficult even for me to pierce his intentions!

In that case I say yes to your offer with some reservation.

That was how the pelican was made a the flying trainer for healthy remuneration.

You have to wait why he quit and deserted the post for my next edition on web.

Keep counting the SiRs please.

Good bye!

Please note even though these stories are quite akin to Buddhist stories and anthology, they are not designed for Dhamma sermons and any recitals without my implied consent will be strictly prohibited.

PS.

The chief minister who took over from the TCM was mildly hurt when in a routine test a bullet pierced the serviced part of the vehicle and went inside. It was an indirect hit; that is why the injuries were minimal.

He quickly dumped the vehicle to junk and bought a new one from the fresh quota allocated to him. He did not forget to send a telegram to the ex-officer thanking him for his service acumen.

I had to deliver it through my special courier service in conjunction with Apaya International.

Flying Officer Grounded

You may think that the war efforts are accomplished that most of the flying officers are grounded and not flying any more.

Nothing of that kind but a flight record of a blackbox conversation of the final 5 to 7 minutes of ill fated flight of SL (UL-Usually Late) named P.P.P.

Thank god it is not a civil flight but a training flight with only two involved one surviving and the other succumbing to injuries ending at Mahabrahma for another round of life cycle.

I have to put the middle of the story first (but the beginning will related briefly in the flight record.) to make brief and interesting and I may have to go for another record for how Mahabrama (his assistant-that part would be interesting) dealt with the emerging crisis.

Flying is a pastime for some (politicians on our money and government coffers) and fantasy for many Sir-Lankans. Many Sir-Lankan young blood want to become a flying officer but never get a chance to get there. I remember I wanted to become a volunteer officer many moons ago but even though I had all the qualifications and the paper work my application never got to the scrutiny table when Public Service in operation.

It is a different story now that the Chief Minister decides the fate of everybody.

In this story chief Minister also has a fair share of involvement.

Sit tight and listen to the flight recorded data.

The conversation is between a pelican and the flying officer in training.

You may wonder what the hell the pelican doing in the cockpit. He was not trapped in air but he was the trainer in white suit with beautiful avian stripes to adorn.

Yes he was the trainer.
Then who was the trainee?

The trainee was a typical Sir-Lankan man who went up the ladder by being a yes man all his life without any decoration or qualification to boast about

He was somewhat similar to Bun Ki Moon who is a yes man for the big nations and red bully for small nations.

I hope you got the picture.

If he say yes to big shots he will be sure of another term in UNO.

Our man of course did not have applied mathematics but a forged certificate to say he passed the “O” Level in mathematics.

The conversation went like this.

Hello Sir!
You are my trainer?
Yes is there any problem?
No Sir have I got to Sir you.
It depends!

If you end up passing with flying colours yes but not otherwise.

He was bit confused but continued to say SiR to which the pelican with good senses did not object.

He was wanting to count how many times he Sirs him during the first flight.

Sir, you have a big beak but no hands.

So Sir, how are you going to help me with the joystick?

I have good eyes and a small brain and that were enough to navigate from Europe to Sir-Lanka to escape from harsh winter believe me I can navigate you if you listen to me carefully instead of saying Sir.

He firmly ascertained his navigation skills.

Now nose up, flaps up and raise off the ground.

Yes Sir.

Now they were in flight in the first few seconds and the flying officer was inquisitive and want to find the loop holes in his flight instructors credibility to get some bonus in the first flight itself.

Sir how you come to become a trainer in Ceylon.

It is easy any foreign joker or a bird can get a job in Sri-Lanka even in supermarkets without knowing food habits of locals. You just put a label for export and that works.

I had a export label tagged from my childhood he said.

Sir who appointed you and turned his head around and the plane two seater veered to the left?
Look what are doing get the nose straight.

OK Sir!

It is your chief minister who appointed me and it is a long story.

But Sir, I would like to hear more, thinking one day he might become a trainer himself by getting in good books with the Chief Minister and twisting his arms.

But your ex-chief Minister is a tortoise now.

How come Sir, I thought he went to heaven by the celebration we had after his death.

He never got a chance. The way he abused official vehicles and the way he drove with the entourage annoyed the Maha and he decided to pace him down to earth and made him a tortoise.

Sir my goodness will the Maha makes me also a tortoise in my next birth Sir!

In the first place you have to die!
Are you ready for that.

Yes Sir!

This answer pleased the pelican very much since he knew he did not have to train this guy for long.

Where did you meet this Tortoised Chief Minister, SiR?

Near a lake flooded in Batticoloa with a water crab with him.

The water crab was his escort Police Officer. on entourage who could always bend the law of the country for his master's favour in real life in Sir-Lanka.

But he could not prevent the premature death of the entourage who met with a fatal accident.

SiR why he was made a crab

Two reasons.
It is a delicacy in Sir-Lanka.
This officer could never walk straight with the law he always side stepped and went horizontally instead of straight.

By birth right he had to be a crab in next life.

SiR will I become a crab in next life.
This was too distracting for the pelican that the plane was in full speed now.

He said autopilot now!

My friend in excitement put the nose down.
He was only educated in Sinhala and could not read the English word autopilot and he pressed the button right under his nose without reading it in the first place.

Pelican was very happy now that his flying lesson would end abruptly.

Pelican opened the cockpit door and before making a nose dive himself said, your first and the last flying lesson are over.

Good bye and slammed the door closed.

To which our yes man said.
Yes Sir!

The rest is history and the blackbox is the only evidence we have now.

Incidentally this plane was taxied from Hambantota and landed nose down in the newly build port at Hambantota.

The blackbox was traced within minutes since the water level of the harbour is deep enough to see even a blackbox from above and our pelican friend hovered around it as if he was looking for a dead body of fish that helped the Navy very much.

Unfortunately the body of the victim was never found and the air force is still looking for the deserted officer in flight training and the flight trainer.

Our flying officer trainer, the pelican disappeared from his post.

I will tell you the rest of the story if you could count correctly the number of times this unfortunately grounded officer said Sirs in his first flight lesson instead of concentrating on flying and why the pelican deserted his post!
Flight P.P.P stands for Paksheta Pashsha Pora and I hear even the Pakshaya is having a nose dive now!

Please note even though these stories are quite akin to Buddhist stories and anthology, they are not designed for Dhamma sermons and any recitals without my implied consent will be strictly prohibited.

Banana Watching and Banana Logic

I gave up banana watching few years ago when the price of a single banana (not a bunch) went up beyond my purse but kept on practicing Banana Logic to the core which I learned from the politicians of this Banana Republic.

It is a very simple logic.

Take no responsibility of the events and consequences and tame the masses with slippery excuses and logic.
Latest is the flood in Batti'coloa and the government's inability to provide relief and not even believing that the masses are suffering untold hardships. Not only they slip the responsibility to weather gods but exaggerate the loss to the vegetation (not people) especially with very accurate number of paddy fields lost from air conditioned offices in Colombo without ever visiting the flood victims or the area under floods. They release statistics by the minute and they appear on Media and TV as Gullible Truths of the this century, which everybody knows even with aerial shot it is hard to estimate.

The devastation was more than the tsunami and it outlasted it by many weeks.
The tsunami was matter of hours but flood was a matter of weeks not days.
We of course capitalized on the political and economic fronts and the monetary benefit some got by promoting the disaster was fabulous to say the least.

Some by standers got rich leaps and bounds.

That is history.

But this time the paucity of the response and the inability to get even UNO involved was stark reminder that we cannot change the minds of the UNO officers trapped in glasshouses and in real frozen state to change their goals of undermining the underdogs in diplomacy since our antic delivering MPs spoiled soup of even the banana logic too much.

This essay is not on that banana logic spoiled by our own efforts and less said about it is better for our body politics which is in downward trend anyway.

This is about the mega bananas one sees in the supermarkets.

They are big and weight for weight expensive and I cannot believe that our soil has become rich in spite of overuse and the floods washing the top soil away.

I was very inquisitive in a scientific way.

It took few months to discover the truths that also did not come from the agrarian officers but from vendors.
It is a truth that one cannot harvest plantain vegetation for for than two years.
The soil gets absolutely drained off and one cannot grow anything else afterward.

In years gone by in Kandy bucket latrines were the vogue (now one has to pay 10 rupees for a piss in a city mall) the the contents of the buckets were loaded in Guhagoda (near Isolation Hospital) and covered with at least 4 feet of soil and were allowed to season out for 4 years and then leased out for growing banana.

The banana yield was the best in Kandy and they were of healthy size but not of the elephantine of today.

There is something amiss.

Not only they are big but the skin of the banana splits before ripening.
That is quite abnormal as if somebody has injected water (this can be done) under the skin.

My investigation reveal stark reality of that banana logic.

The bigger the size bigger the price and the economic weight.

What the growers do is that they inject UREA (contaminated with cadmium that causes kidney failure) into the flower stem to get them bigger.

Now I believe after the last UREA dose they even inject plain water dose to make them plump. With drug abusers are increasing in number in the country the thrown away plastic syringes are readily available anywhere including hospital dumps. I think even bizarre epidemics may emerge from eating these elephantine bananas. The water injected and the UREA injected are not sterilized.

They are raw contaminated water.

We were healthy eating bananas that came off nutritious from the nourishing off bucket latrines in Kandy yesteryear and not anymore.

My recommendation are
1. Do not pay for big bananas
2. If the skin is split do not buy them (sure sign of overdose)
3. Even supermarkets are suspicious of their dealing with the vendors
4. Buy a reputable product
5. Visit a banana plantation and see it for yourself
6. Taste before buying
7. Make pressure groups of customers
8. Invest on home garden
9. Invest on a bio-degrader container
10. Wash them thoroughly before eating (applies to all vegetables and fruits)
11. Do not put them in the fridge (many reasons including watching what happens to them)
12. Be vigilant
13. Do not buy cheap stuff (paw paw at 10 rupee/kg)
14. These are my observations and I can add many more but all of them are common sense practices.

In a country with chain of corrupt practices from grower to vendor to super markets chains we are eating colossal amount of poisons everyday. 

The idea is to become rich and the poor customer is of no value to the Mudhalali and the Government (except just prior to an election).

90% of the fruits and vegetables are poisoned at various levels.

There is only perpetuation.

No remedy is available in sight or distant future.
It is only a money matter.

There is no controlling authority but corruption at all levels including food inspectors.

If one is eating poisons it is ones own responsibility and that is the the way the officials and government operate and look at the problem.

Good example is that government would not provide free medicine to drunkards (all of us are drunkards politically) and does not look at the root problem of drinking beahaviour.

If you look at the the liqueur bill of House of Parliament we can see where the root cause is.

This is somewhat similar to how we handled and handling ethnic issue.

 
There is absolutely no difference.

Testicular Question of Transplant

The organ transplant is now big money and in vogue and I am perturbed that nobody talks about testicular transplant.

We have so many in this country without good testicular function with ball games vogue in male fraternity, I am surprised why politicians are not talking about testicles.


Is it a banned subject among politicians?


Or is it if they talk about it and if real nuts and bolts and secrets about the testicular functions come out in the public domain and is there a fear among politicians revealing their actual self hidden behind political power?


I do not know.

I am not a politician.


But in our fraternity we are quite adept and amused by this organ so much so that if we want to be cock sure that somebody is stone dead we make sure that we squeeze them to our heart content and confirm our judgmental capacity of death and heaven afterward.


There is only organ in the body which has two arteries (you have to guess) but testicle has only one and would like to be in cold compartment in freezing condition until it is call for duty unlike the ovary which is in warm compartment and function only according to lunar cycles.


Its anatomy is simple but it's associated ductal and tubular systems are so complex that even the heart surgeons who are paid lot of money have not figured out how to preserve them in the first place let alone transplant them in a live subjects.


If you are young and a budding doc and want to win the Nobel Prize and want to make lot of money, it is high time you invest sometime and figure out a way of transplanting testicles not one but several to some avirile and aged politicians so that they can get back to active life instead of siting in the Senate House lumbering or waiting for the coronary bypass or eventual heavenward migration with merit acquired in this life.


For me and my generation we were happy ligating the ductal systems so that they are no longer able to procreate that we were more concerned about population explosion rather than procreation. We were willing to remove them at any moment especially if they happened to be of political organs and put some artifact inside so that they can feel better and if they really like squeeze them for pleasure without any pain.


But things are changing people want to live long into next century even if the health is failing by all known parameters. The only limitation is availability of organs or parts of organs which are becoming very expensive now that the war is inactive and casualties are down to minimal levels.


Are we going to sit and wait or invent the wheel or the testicular cycles?


That is my pertinent testicular question.


Without any gesticulations young blood and budding doctors should find a way to transplant real testicles not dud ones like our times. It is going to be real money spinner at a time of stock market downturn. I hear lot of surgeons are thinking of committing suicide in USA.

They should not.

They should invest their time on testicular transplantation and become the real heroes or testicular tranplanters among the male fraternity before considering going to heaven like Micheal Jackson.


By the way one might win even Nobel Prize for real inventions!


If we can cut each to two halves and other half is filled with dud coins we might even make twice the money in one go!


Think about my ploy young blood.