Brain Train Dream

This a chapter in my book Meditation Business that is coming out soon.

Brain Train Dream

This is one of my dreams published in book form.This dream was short but I think it is appropriate,I should reproduce it here since it is relevant to Metta Meditation and Heavenly Aboard.

I was in trouble in my dream.

I was trying to find a toilet for number one job and not number two. I was on a holiday of some sort,   in an unfriendly remote corner of the earth.

Place looked like Alaska.

It would have been in Alberta or on Alaska looking for tar sand or rare metal deposits. Trouble was I could not find a self contained cubicle to do that job out of sight and out of open view. Finally, I found          a place without the roof with the squatting plate made of marble. A posh site without bystanders and also without a roof in open air.

It got to be Alaska not Alberta.

Then I sat down but its size and proportions made me to realise it was not made for a man of my size but probably for an elephant. The second problem was to find a little plastic container to fetch some water to do the final bottom clean up. Unlike, the guys and girls of the West who use paper toilet, we still prefer the wet toiletry and getting wet in the process.

Finally, I found a thrash can, in actual fact three in number placed one on top of the other.

It looked like a vessel left by a pre-historic man and it was almost fossilised.

I dug it up from the snow.

I was finally ready armed to the teeth as it were, now ready for the plunge or the big drop.

I was figuring out how to make a simple do and make a quick exit before somebody click an iReport on my exploits on a hitherto barren land and send it to CNN for a quickFlash of News.

But I was rudely interrupted by a guy who looked to me like 5 star janitor wearing something which looked like a spacesuit which I had never seen before.

It was bright and in golden colour.

Other strange thing was he looked like he never touched the ground as if he was levitating. He splashed a golden creamy stuff which looked like egg shampoo to me on the marble floor and then splashed double the amount of the stuff on the bath tub / tiny water pool and turned round in a flash towards me, telling me,           that I should position my feet on the correct alignment marked by what looked like to me elephant footprints and to my amazement he was trying to positioned my feet (not my bottoms on the correct trajectory).

It was a strange feeling.

I was trying my bottom to be in correct alignment in this massive cesspit but he was trying to get my feet aligned and he was about to hold one of my feet and I felt ticklish and embarrassed.

Next thing I knew was I was holding my right foot with one hand and the other hand on my bottoms to see whether I had some accidental runs in my sleep.

Neither.

Woke up but not in need for any voids.

In any case, in my half dreamy state I walked to the toilet and tried the big one.

No void.

Tried the number two, a tiny dribble.

I soon realised I was only dreaming and quickly went back to my bed for the second round of my sleep without any interruption by  dreams or mosquitoes.        I was hard pressed for a good dream andMaha Brahmawould be equally pleased to interpret this in any case, decided to email it when I am up and in correct senses.

True to his character he answered the dream in kind.

I asked him was there a second part.

NO he said.

Is it futuristic?

Yes he said.

Was it Alaska?

NO.

Where was it?

Can't you guess?

It got to be heaven.

It got to be me going to heaven?

I am not suppose to tell that to you in advance.

It was very dull dream, I reflected.

No son, it is a very good one.

In case if you want to come here it is good for you to know the heaven protocol.

Isn't it?

Yes Sir.

Are there marble toilets in heaven?

We really like marble floors on toilets.

Even on our final resting place on earth is marble floored and lined, I told him.

The last thing we do before we leave earth i;

Say Good Bye to toilets.

We do not have toilets in heaven.

But we have a small area designated for earthlings just before one enters heaven.

What you saw in your dream is the quarantine in practice.

Who was that guy was he doing quarantine?

He was a guy working in the parliament in Ceylon. He was the one who used to remove all the offensive language before entering in the hanzard.

Is that enough to enter heaven.

Yes.

In that case no parliament MP enters the heaven.

Yes.

Thank God for telling that truth.

Shall I tell you the protocol before entering the heaven.

Yes, Sir.

We have 10 steps to proper quarantine at the gate of heaven.

I will gave that in a list form.

OK, Sir.

Protocol before entering heaven for earthling.

Ten Steps

1.Bowel Wash

First we clean the bowel with a bowel wash.

2. Hand Wash

Nothing unusual but may not need any detergents.

Body Wash

Simple soap is allowed if requested.

3. Content Incineration

All the food in  bowel wash-out stage is incinerated.

4. Head Wash

Most of these items are done by the funeral directors.

Aren't they?

Yes, but the heaven we still prefer a follow up clean.

5. Brain Wash

Washing the brain of rubbish that are put on you by the psychologists.

Under hypnosis a psychologist on earth will tell you that one swallows 3 to 10 spiders a night on an average. This type of false propaganda has to be washed out completely.

6. Brain Drain

Is a technique to get all redundant information like

Positive Thinking

Creative Brain

Logical Brain

Lateral Brain

One uses 10% of the Brain, and the lot.

Then we drain all the psychological theories put on your brain by management trainers on earth. They are all rubbish and has no validity on heaven. This is the most difficult part of the clean up process.

Then I told him we spend enormous amount of money for these training programs.

That is not my problem.

But if you can avoid these American programs,        it is so much the better, if you consider entering heaven.

You mean to say, lot of Americans will never sight the heaven.

True my dear.

What about their M.B.As and Emotional Intelligent Training, they teach in Harvard.

They are useless in heaven.

7. Brain Train

Then we train them to think.

After the above six stages we start onMoment Meditation.

I said, I was very good at present moment meditation training and since I was very short of memory, especially the past.

But I am very bad at Metta Meditation since we have lot of mosquitoes in Ceylon. If I can avoid killing mosquitoes that is the entry point to Metta Meditation.

Since, I do not have any enemies in heaven, I have to quit Metta Meditation.

In my past live, I have had only a few friends and I am not sure any of them have entered heaven., before me.

8. Moment Meditation

I do it myself.

9. Metta Meditation.

I actually delegate this part to earthlings who come here. But when I saw the nice aura around your vertex, I was naturally inquisitive.

10. Train Control Room

This is for other earthly beings.

When I get any of those Trained Brained Guys(T.B.G) from earth come here by sheer chance and  asked me for big favours, I put them in a Train and put one of their guys in  the control room.

I take a break, immediately.

These clever guys on earth must get to very good places in heaven, won't they?

NO.

What?

They drive themselves to Hell in this train.

Hell?

Yes.

Don't you realize that one needs very little brain to enter heaven.

You only need a big brain to hoodwink another big brain. That is necessary only on earth.

Not in heaven.

Don't be too brainy and he disappeared.