How
to Lie in Dreams
It
is fortunately a public holiday, I woke up very, very late. In fact,
it was after three attempts by my dog telling me, it is pretty late
in the day, as far as he was concerned.
Why
don’t you wake up?
That
was his message.
He
has got used to a good routine with me all because of our prolong
industrial action, he knows all my routines by heart.
He
never put his front feet on the bed but he did it toady to see
whether I was really late but not dead on my sleep.
I
had a nice long dream too.
For
a change, I want you to interpret it, in my own ways.
The
Dream
The
dream goes backs to about 50 years.
It
was in the Peradeniya Campus.
It
was in the evening and I was doing my own jog around the campus. I
was on the side of our physiology don’s house, who was a burgher
gentleman.
I
climbed a little soil mound and peeped over the window to see whether
the madam was in to tease her.
To my horror she got into a panic
mode and loudly said,
“Leela,
the thief has come, catch him”
Leela
is the wife of another don in the Faculty of Arts.
She
got hold of a broomstick (that the recognized weapon and no T-56
then) and moved sideways and I followed her instinct for a few steps
and quickly took a about turn and ran behind her house and the neighbors house, knowing well if I enter her front compound I
could be caught, perhaps with a broomstick in her hand, too.
I
took a detour and came round by another route to see Mrs. Leela was
coming down across another alleyway with a big pole in her hand.
I
took to my feet swiftly like a horse and was down a steep hill that
lead to a small paddy (yes we had a little paddy filed inside the
campus, then) field.
When
I approached there well away from my attackers, I decided to have a
pause to catch my breath and little peace in my mind.
I
was in a pensive mood when an middle age woman approach me clad in
muddy cloth with some kind of grass in her hand.
I
thought she was cutting grass for the cow she had (yes we had cows in
the campus, then).
She
asked me whether I was a undergraduate.
I
said, Yes.
Then
she asked me whether I know the Vice Chancellor personally.
I
did not know what to say.
Those
days the V.C. is such a big stature, we undergraduates have no contact
with him, unless we have done something very nasty and grave that we
get a resound warning without any inquiry or criminal court.
I
did not want to accept my predicament but said to her I knew him very
well.
She
said, “Aiyyoh Mahathaya Ahenum Baridaha Ahanna Thawa Kananayakata
Wapuranna Denna Kiyala”.
Could
you please ask him whether she can have another season of paddy
cultivation instead of the special grass she was asked to grow.
I
asked her what is this all about.
She
told me that she was asked to lay the special type of grass on her
paddy field instead of cultivating rice.
I
asked, Why?
“Ane
Maha Ragina Enawane”
Queen
is visiting the country.
I
told her I would try and had a few seconds pause to gather my
composure and make good the fundamental error of “Peeping Tom”
behaviour.
I
walked the long route back to the house of our don.
On
my way, I found the long pole Leela had dropped and I wanted to
return it back in case she needs it.
As I was walking up with the
pole in hand, I saw V.C. coming down the lane.
There
was no way of avoiding him.
I
raised the pole as I was carrying a flag on top of it. I walked
toward him bravely and the second running to escape was not in my
mind.
He
came down slowly with a majestic imposing posture.
He
was wearing a British hat.
He
paused having come down to where I was. I had become
stationary by that time with the pole erect on my hand.
As
he approached me I lowered it as if I was a pole vault jumper.
Are
you practicing how to carry a flag on a pole.
I
said, No.
I
was practicing pole vault, I said.
I
ordered a new one from England.
It
is very heavy and of British standard, I told him.
This
is of the correct weight for me.
Then
he said, I see about your need anyway.
Thank
you, Sir.
Where
are taking it.
I
said “to whom it belongs”.
He
said Good Old Boy.
By
now I knew I was in a good working relationship with the V.C.
I took
the courage to ask the question that poor lady could not ask from
him.
Sir,
May I,...... may I.... make a request for somebody.
Who
is that somebody?
He
was very attentive and inquisitive.
I
said I met that woman and she wanted another season for rice
cultivation.
That
cannot be done he said abruptly.
Then,
I looked at him very politely and said rice takes only three and half
months to maturity and the grass only half that time and the Queen is
coming one year from now and there is enough time to do all that.
Is
that so?
You
seem to know quite a lot, “are you an agriculture student”.
No
Sir, I am Medical Student and put a little substance to my pole
carrying adventure.
Then
he said go and tell her she can have even two seasons but by the time
Queen is here there should be a posh growth of green grass over
there.
Then
he went onto say. if I see you carrying poles instead of looking after
patients, I will make you a pole bearer of the university and not in
the parliament.
That
is the type of environment we had when we were in the University.
It
is quite different now.
I
walked up to the house and met the lady and handed over the pole.
She
was puzzled.
She
had seen me in a bit of a long conversation with V.C. and she did not know what
to say.
Then
I went to the house of our burgher don and talked to the lady as
nothing improper had happened.
She
invited me for cup of tea with cookies, which was my original
intention which was interrupted by her panic and commotion that
followed.
I
cannot remember how many lies I told her over the cup of tea.
That
was a survival need as a young undergraduate, otherwise we would have
been expelled within the first term of our academic year, if
everybody knew what we did off academic hours.
The
lady was a typical Victorian type.
I
told her, if I was her, I would not invite the V.C. for a cup of tea, if
my teacher was not at home.
She
did not ask why?
Then,
I said, V.C. was trying to enter the neighbour house’s from back door
and he detoured having seen me with the pole.
Is
that so?
Yes,
I said loudly.
Mind
you that was the biggest lie on that day.
By
that time, I have begun to hate Leela for carrying a big pole to hit
me instead of a broomstick.
Everybody,
knew V.C. was a ladies man and there were enough in the Art Faculty to
prey at that time but not in the Medical Faculty.
We
exchanged pleasantries and I was a regular visitor and she was like
a real aunt to me.
She
is no more but probably in heaven.
Now
this one is for you.
How
many lies in total.
Unlike
politicians who lie for a living in broad day light, I am entitled to
lies in my dreams.
If
you can help me to count them.
I
have lost count of them.
Dream
is a good recipe for people like me and we have this satisfaction of
lying in our deep sleep mode.
That
is why dream are for us and not for politicians.
I
am told that the politicians see their lies in their own sleep get
terrified and wake up ever so often not knowing how to coin the next
lie.
My dream applies to all politicians from Biden to Putin to Mahinda to Ranil to future politicians....................
