Monday, December 26, 2016

Why all dogs end up in Heaven?

Why all dogs end up in Heaven?

People often ask me the above question and I wondered how?

I stumble upon the very reason.

It goes like this.

Once upon a time, I had a dog and I used to take him round the lake (unlike today one can walk in the city without bumping into an alien).

He was very aggressive and even at home it would obey only my commands. 

The only thing it wanted was to run round the lake when I return home.

He waits eagerly for my return and I walk with him to the city to buy some bread. Those were the days when NM, the Furnace Minister and Sirimao was one and only female leader of the world.

Then, people used to kill each other for a loaf of bread.

I join the queue, which is almost a mile long (all the visitors to the city too, join the queue and many without an ID Card.They started issuing ID cards (my belief) to discriminate the aliens that frequent the cities like Colombo), and wait patiently for our turn.

Then the vendor gives me one loaf of bread (that is a ration for the family). 

I demand one for my dog, which was an animal entitlement (these were the days they consumed all the tortoises in the lake and in Colombo served dogs’ flesh as chicken portions).

Argument ensues and I won’t budge.

I make my dog to snarl as to kill him (he fears along with the bystanders) until two loaves are dispensed.

Then we walked back home.

Deposit one loaf for the family.

We walk down the lake and sit on an empty bench share the bread and he gets a lion’s share and up for a vigorous run. 

He always beats me and I used to call him my trainer. 

Sure enough, I beat all the guys in the university in short distance running up to 200 yards, the most (not 200 meters, I get beaten with that extra few inches added).

To cut the story short, I finished with university and was posted to far away place and my dog died within a month.

I never saw its body or I was never told the true story. This was the only time I felt my mother lied to me. Father’s story I never believed. My only guess (now) that he was run over by a driver; he was searching me all over the city, I believe.

My resolve was never to have another dog.

Coming back to Maha Brahma’s involvement in dog affairs is fortuitous. 

Right at that time there were few other stray dogs in the city. They retreat whenever, I was with my dog but when I see them alone, I used to feed them. 

One dog belonged to a GP in Kandy, he was busy with his PP and the other dog belonged to a lawyer who was busy with legal entanglements.

Both dogs had not been cared for. 

The doctors dog died first having eaten the junk in the city dustbins.

He ended up with Maha Brahma and Maha knew how the rich doctor had treated him in real life. 

He said; You are happy to be here?

The dog said; I still prefer not parting the doctor. 

You Stupid, what You want to be?

He paused for a moment and said I want to be “Your Assistant”. 

Why?; was Maha’s immediate response.

Then the dog went onto give the plight of all the dogs in Kandy including the lawyer’s dog who was ailing at the time of his demise and would be joining the departed soon.

I want to help them when they come here.

Maha opened his eyes wide with amazement and immediately offered the Post of Assistant. He had another surprise for the dog. Look my son, I had been working over time and due for a vacation. You take over my job till I come back and vanished in a flash and said Good bye after uttering my vacations are in eons not in dog years. Then our dog had a little nap and when woken up saw his earthly friend lawyer’s dog at the entrance door to heaven. 

He immediately made him his assistant.

I think my dog also joined the fold in heaven.

The reason why dogs end up in heaven is obvious, both acting Maha and his assistant are Kandy dogs.

I have a healthy relationship with heaven even before departing my earthly belongings.

Old Dog Haven and Senior Dogs

There are lot of myths about dogs but here I want to illustrate few human facts that I should communicate with Maha Brahma who was a yesteryear dog exterminated to make room for Perahara Pilgrims that visit this holy city of Kandy.
Most of Sri-Lankan end up in hell where the Maha Brahmas dog and present assistant of Maha Brahmas were dogs from this country. By clever design they ended up there and for my luck I happened to know the Present Maha Brahmas Assistant as a Paraya dog in Kandy and I am fortunate enough to communicate with him by virtual email.
First the bad news.
Lot of paraya dogs were cleared up recently in preparation for Perehara and I want a place reserved for them in hell (for the municipality exterminators not the exterminated paraya dogs).
In some countries when they are old they are sent to Old Dogs Haven.
I want the Maha to take them to heaven moment they are exterminated but make a short list of the exterminators and send that list to Apaya (Hell) Server.
I have designed a full proof program to catch dog killers and that is working nicely in Apaya Server currently but the problem is these dog killers live longer than the dog by many a mile due to cardiac surgery performed.

Senior Citizens Senior Dogs
1. They have homes for the elderly humans.
1. Dogs Haven is practically the hell for the senior dogs.
2. Some senior citizens by that time become the Mayors (of the City they were born) if not in an Home for the Elderly.
In my opinion all political institutions including Pradeshiya Sabha are half way house from the planet earth to the hell.
3.They never give way to juniors
$. There is only extermination decree for dogs coming from the Municipality and they brag about the dog exterminators.

In the Dog’s World the operation is different.
1 .Junior dogs take charge of the brood.
I have another plea.

If one wants to age with the dog please do the following.
1. Take care of a young dog at the age of 43 (when nobody seems to want you including your wife and kids) years.
2. When you are 50 your dog is 7 years old and equal to 50 years of human age.
3. In another three (3) when your dog is 10 he is equivalent to 60 human years and you will be 53 years. You are younger by 7 years.
4. In another two years dog (at 12 years) will be 70 and you will be only 55 years.
You are younger by 15 years.
50=7=50 ( only at 50 one can be at the level of the dog age and enjoy with your contemporary to your heart content and his company prevents you from getting a heart attack, if you delay the dog will get a heart attack).
52=12=70 (This is the time you get a bypass operation and the dog get a heart attack).
5. Now that you have become the mayor at 55 after retiring from service would you be kind to this dog who is 12 years or sent for the Municipality exterminator.
6. They are just old senior dogs / citizens they do not have a parliament to go but only the streets but unlike you they look after our streets even at night when young, is it reasonable to put them to death?
7. How come if I say all the senior citizens who were ex-parliamentarians and drawing a fat pension and to save money for development they should be exterminated.
Will don’t you pass a bill and vote yes in parliament?
Are we reasonable human beings?.

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