Thursday, February 18, 2016

Granny Award

Granny Award
I intend to award A Granny Award in my mothers name who is in her early nineties (she is no more now and the award does not hold) to any person who come with an English Drama based on the stages mentioned below.
The contents are Open Source and are generally under the Linux GPL Convention.
Originator       
Unknown Sri-Lankan Author in his late Nineties (I claim he is not my father)
Recent Rendering by a Bookshop Assistant in Kandy who wishes to be anonymous
This Edition by Me (MINIME VERSION) and BABA (one of my dear friends who is no more with us) for SAMBA, BIMBA, ZIMBA, SINHA BAR (Lion BAR) and ALI (ELEPHANS THE TWO LEGGED VARIETY) BABA or any unborn Sri-Lankan Baba can participate in future developments of the animal story if any left (copyleft)  on this planet.
 

The big DADDY VERSION is only for private consumption of my friends especially after a suitable beverage except Sri-Lankan dust TEA (not Tiger Wood's recent TEE) which I use as a manure.

Avam Mesuthan Akam Samayam ( So,I heard)
    I was a privy to Relay Carnival (passing the buck really fast like the hedging deal) in the Animal Kingdom. 

I was the only Sri-Lankan selected by an island wide Lottery conducted by the Hela Urumaya (or Karumaya) Surikimu Foundation (HUKU-SUMU for short).

I was on holiday in a Forest Reservation (JUNGLE HABITAT).

I was Observing an elderly (prostate enlarged) Peter Rabbit grazing.

Jack the Jackal (with financial interests in Sri-Lanka) greedily waiting for a innocent prey.

The Scene of Jackal (both hip joints and knee joints are replaced (by bionic prosthesis delivered by a Sr-Lankan TELESHOP GIANT on a Plate made of unclaimed Credit Cards) because of the Royal Ancestry chasing the Rabbit.

BLIND forest (Hermen) hermit descend from heaven and lands on a busy Junction (Thun-Man Handiya)

Rabbit approaching the hermit with break neck speed without a Crash Helmet.

Rabbit jumps over hermit visibly shaken up and annoyed.

Land a squirt of Holy Medical Water (Urine for short) right on the nose and mouth.


Hermit really thinks the water is holy and ascend to a higher Jhana.

Jackal approaches the hermit with a bionic speed and put on breaks instantaneously.

Jackal licks the nose and face of the hermit.

Hermit awakens from his transient Trance.

Jackal reprimand the hermit with a nasty comment why don't you stay a few feet above the ground.

Well, I was thinking about my Bank Balance of Merit (PIN-Numbers) in Seylan Bank and settled where it ought to be was his reply.

Well then, did you see a rabbit running this way?

Yes,Yes I heard some animal running but I cannot say what species he was BUT I can very well tell you that he was a male.

You say you are a hermit and blind. 

How can one see the SEX of an animal running fast in a Meditative Mode?

Didn't the Master tell you it is illegal to think about Sex in meditative trance? 

We animals think about sex only when we are in full sexual flow and not otherwise.

Can you tell me how the BLIND HERMIT instantaneously guessed the SEX of the passerby?
 

Help; 
Nothing to do with urine or prostate. 
It is due to some other reason. 

Only a Sri-Lankan would be able to guess the ANSWER and it is a common saying when a policeman is chasing a politician who committed a traffic offense.

Past Life
The hermit was a Traffic Warden (an active member of Hela Urumaya) who went to heaven instantaneously when hit by a Guy from the Presidential Escort.

The rabbit was a monk who went in search of emancipation in Sri-Lankan Parliament and deposited his hard earned money in private bank

The Jackal was a Sri-Lanakan Private Banker.

I was of course the CNN I-reporter using a stolen mobile telephone.


Corollary
Only a male Rabbit or Jackal can squirt a healthy vigorous stream while running, the man cannot.
 

A female (liberal woman) will never be able to perform this act even when standing, 
the future Female US President and probable female candidates included.

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